We Didn’t Date, But I Still Deserved Respect

We Didn’t Date, But I Still Deserved Respect

For the girls with a f*ckboy in their lives
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Dear Immature College Boy Who Wasted My Time,

We didn’t date, and that’s perfectly fine, but that didn’t mean you could treat me the way you did. You know better than most people what I’ve been through in the past, so to be treated by you in similar ways is shocking to say the least.

It’s unfortunate that you see a difference between treating a girl properly and being a decent person because there truly is no difference. I was never your girlfriend, which means that you were never inclined to take me out on dates or hold my hand in public. I never expected any of that. Instead, what I expected was for you to respect me and my time, and realize that I wasn’t there for you to mess with physically and emotionally whenever you felt like it. You owed me nothing more than the respect you give and show your friends, but you couldn’t even deliver that to me on its most basic level.

I can no longer count on two hands how many times you disrespected me or purposefully gave me ambiguous answers to serious questions simply because you couldn’t confront your own feelings. Your games were never fun, and they never will be—for anyone.

What you clearly have yet to realize is that you lost a girl who cared for and respected you as an individual—as a friend—and you didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye to her. You walked out of my life and never looked back, neglecting our friendship in the process. The worst part was realizing just how little I meant to you all this time.

I no longer have the patience to involve myself with people who waste my time and play with my feelings like they’re part of some game. I was always there whenever you needed me, but you couldn’t extend that same courtesy any of the times I asked.

Immature college boy, learn to treat a girl correctly because maybe once you do, you’ll realize that the reason you’ve been single all this time wasn’t out of personal choice; it was because you’re an utter asshole.


Sincerely,

The Girl Who Was Always Too Good For You

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 reasons It's important to Be a 'Good Ex'

Because being petty and vengeful isn't cute

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Bad exes are truly an epidemic and, for all of our peace at mind, they need to be stopped. There's the exes who blow up our social media and our phones, leave desperate voicemails, stalk us in public, ask our friends how we're doing all the time…and plenty others who go to extensive ends just to get our attention (mostly in a bad way).

But what about you? Are you being courteous, sophisticated, and respectful of each other's boundaries and privacy?

If not, you really should be...and here's why:


It can definitely be tempting to be petty and subtweet your ex-boyfriend just so the world can know how awful he is. It's even more satisfying to rant about him to one of his close pals, or to throw armfuls of eggs at your ex-girlfriend's white Jeep until you've stopped crying. But at the end of the day, know that whatever karma you put out into the universe will come back to you in time. Make sure that you're being a good ex— and ultimately, a good person— if you want to draw your forever love even closer to you.

Cover Image Credit:

Tumblr

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Loving The Wrong Person Can Make You Lose Yourself, Trust me, I would Know

You're just stuck loving the wrong guy in an okay situation.

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In a perfect world, we wouldn't ever have to fall in love with the wrong person. Falling in love with the wrong person means you have to feel all of the right things just to eventually feel all the wrong things too. There's no preparing you for this, and there's no going back once you're already there. You're just stuck loving the wrong guy in an okay situation.

It becomes comfortable, and not too long after, you become stuck.

Loving the wrong guy didn't get me much but it definitely taught me a thing or two.

I'm weak when I'm with the wrong guy. I stop voicing my opinion because I know it's never actually heard. I let things go unsaid because even saying something got me nowhere with him. I allowed for his mistakes to be swept under the rug while we continually played out the ones I made day by day. I was a coward when it came to what I deserved, and that's actually something I will always take credit for. He didn't force me to be weak. He didn't threaten me if I voiced my opinion. He never stopped me from bringing up his mistakes. I did all of that. It was because I knew the aftermath of all of those things came with arguments I didn't have the energy to have, or tears that I didn't have the willpower to cry.

The wrong guy means different things to different people. Some may use you for what you have, while another could cheat, lie, and steal with no problem. Mine just made me feel small and insignificant. He took away my character and molded me into a person I didn't recognize. I became what I promised myself I never would, which was a puppet for him to control. I started to be someone who made decisions based on what I thought a repercussion might be. Not long after that, I noticed every decision I made lose it's meaning because it wasn't actually me making them. I was so caught up in thinking I loved the right person that I realized it was more of that person just loving himself and making me think I did too.

Loving the wrong guy is like falling in a 12-foot hole, and never trying to understand a way out. In that hole, you have everything you actually need to survive, so instead of trying to dream about the ways you can get out and how your life will be different, you accept what it is. You just adapt to what's around you and love the things you have. It's when you finally figure a way out of that soul-depriving ditch when you realize your life was so limited and time was just wasted.

Do you ever stop to look around and ask yourself if this is the life you want for your future kids? Is your happiness enough that you'd feel content with your kids having it for the rest of their life? We love the wrong person, and then we try to tell ourselves he isn't wrong for us. We stay with the wrong person. We get comfortable. We settle into a lifestyle we are not head over heels in love with. We watch the person we once were, turn into a person that is making it work. All because we loved, settled, and stayed with the wrong guy.

I loved the wrong guy.

It taught me obvious things, like strength and clarity.

However, it also taught me deeper things, like what I actually wanted out of my life. It took me way too long to say it to myself, but when I did, I realized there was nothing or no one I would ever settle for again. I'd never let my opinion go unheard, and I would never fear a single repercussion. I'd start to accept who I was and make anyone who couldn't fuck right off. I learned that courage is most respected and deserved when it hurts, but that it makes you truly feel alive. I learned to try actually falling in love with the right guy, but if I don't, take what I learned from the last wrong one, and kick the next one's ass to the curb.

Maybe I lost part of myself when it came to him, but I got it back and made that part even stronger than it used to be.

Cover Image Credit:

https://unsplash.com/search/photos/relationship

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