I Didn't Wait Until Marriage And I Have ZERO Regrets

Odyssey sees a lot of articles urging young adults, women especially, to wait for marriage before having sex. I figured I'd throw my two cents into the conversation.

I believe everyone needs to define for themselves their attitude towards sex. Is it for relationships only? Is it for marriage? Are one night stands OK? Or is sex not something I'm interested in at all? Every answer to those questions is completely valid and normal. Everyone deserves to have their choices about their sex life respected, so long as everything they do is consensual and safe.

Me? I love sex. I'd have it all day if I could. I love rough sex and I love lovey-dovey sex. I love vanilla sex and I love the wilder stuff too. Mostly I love how fun and silly it can be! I have started giggling about memes mid-sexual-activities more times than I can count. I love the connection I feel with my partner and the vulnerability and intimacy.

I have not given away any piece of myself just by having sex.

I've certainly made some decisions I regret in retrospect, but just like with all things in life, sometimes we have to make mistakes to figure out what really works for us. The way I see it, I've gained something, I've gained a way for me to receive pleasure and give pleasure to someone else. I've gained a way to appreciate my body, to explore my body, enjoy an activity that so many of our animal cousins enjoy too. There is nothing shameful about sex!

Science does not in any way support the notion that having sex outside of a committed relationship is, in itself, unhealthy. Proponents of encouraging others to wait for marriage often cite what they find to be concrete reasons why premarital sex hurts women emotionally. You know what really hurts women emotionally? Men who do not respect their rights to their body and their choices, men who don't stick by the women they commit too, men who prioritize their own pleasure over their partner's. When we assume that this is just how sex is for young women, we are turning a blind eye to the specific behaviors that make many young women's' first sexual experiences less than magical, sometimes causing them to have long-term trust and intimacy issues. These guys need to be held accountable, not let off the hook as if that's just how all young men act.

It was those partners who caused emotional pain by mistreating, cheating, or degrading, not sex itself. Sex is just an act, neither inherently good nor bad, and context is everything.

Sure, sex causes all sorts of neurotransmitters to be released, as does being romantically in love, but those chemicals don't dictate your feelings. We aren't slaves to our dopamine or oxytocin levels. Having sex with someone doesn't form some sort of intense bond. Heck, most of the people I've had sex with I haven't heard from in a year, at least. I don't mind at all! A lot of people could never imagine being ok with that, but that's because their personal views towards sex are different than mine. That's totally chill!

My point is that everyone is different and if we could just refrain from judging each other, or better yet, celebrate our differences, the world would be a much better place. If you are waiting for marriage, I 100% support you in your choice! That's awesome! All I ask is that you respect mine and not insert your beliefs in my personal life.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Photos You Have On Your Camera Roll Of Your S.O. When You've Been Dating For More Than A Year

A wide range from "Aw" to "WTF?"


My boyfriend and I just hit the year and a half mark of dating, even though it seems like we've been together forever. Over the months, we've taken many pictures together... from football games, to his track meets, to holidays. Although we may have a lot of pictures together, I definitely have a lot of candids of him in my camera roll. If you've been dating your partner for as long as I have or longer, then you'll probably notice you have these same pictures in your photos as well.

1. The awkward first photos together

We laugh at these now, especially this one. Why am I so pale compared to him? It was July! And also, we noticed not to long ago that I was sweating under my arms and his underarms were sweating on me... what a great first time meeting!

2. The ones for VSCO

Every girl who has a significant other posts them onto their VSCO. VSCO is like Instagram, but more has more aesthetically pleasing pictures and there are no "likes." The pictures that include my boyfriend on my VSCO ranges from him holding a bunny to him holding my hand while we went ice skating.

3. Them sleeping

I have so many pictures of my boyfriend sleeping (I promise it's not as weird as it sounds), I just think he's so cute when he's fast asleep while cuddling with me.

4. The embarrassing ones they want no one to see

He's going to kill me when he sees this... but we all have those embarrassing Snapchat pictures that we start to send each other because we've gotten more comfortable with one another.

5. The ones for Facebook

The good looking pictures so you can keep yours and his family updated on how you two are doing. I took my boyfriend to a baby bird meet and greet since he loves birds and has one for a pet. I posted this cute picture of him and his new friends on Facebook so my family can see our adventures together.

6. Old pictures

One of the best parts of dating someone is finally seeing their old pictures. Although, sometimes they may make you cringe... like the one I posted above of my boyfriend after prom in his sophomore year of high school.

7. Their accomplishments

My boyfriend pole vaults for his college and he's really good at it. He just went to division III nationals in March because he qualified! I'm always at his meets so I make sure to get him on video in case he or anyone wants to see. I always try to snag a picture with him too because I'm always so proud.

8. The straight up ugly ones

He sure knows how to make me laugh. And I know he's going to be mad at me for this one too but I think it's a talent that he can do that with his stomach! Sorry, Adam, I promise I still think you look good when you send me these snaps for the most part.

9. But you have the hot ones too

He may be funny and sweet, but he is pretty good looking too. I know us girls keep some attractive pictures of our S.O.'s so we can remind ourselves of what a great looking partner we have.

10. FaceTime screenshots

If you and your lover go to different colleges like my boyfriend and I do, then FaceTiming happens a lot. Sometimes I get some great screenshots, like the one above, to make fun of him later.

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To My Cheating Ex’s New Wife, From The Ex He Probably Didn’t Tell You About

Know that whatever you do, I will support you and your decisions.


To his new wife,

First of all, I will not tell you to run, to fight your way out, or to leave in the dead of night. I will not try to convince you to do anything you do not want to do. Ever. End of discussion.

I do not know you and, as far as I know, you do not know me. All I know of you is the life you have created on social media. All I know is what you and the man you love post.

But, as far as I can tell, you both are happy. You both love each other dearly and continue to care for one another each and every day. And I hope it continues this way.

I hope the two of you last. I hope he has grown since last we spoke. I hope he treats you so much better than he treated me. I hope he has grown into the man I always wanted him to be.

Whether he told you about me or not, whether he chose to work on himself internally or you worked on his past with him, you are someone that I knew needed to walk into his life. You are the kind of person I knew he needed from the moment I walked away.

The kind to stick by a man's side when he has royally messed up. The kind to call him out when he's messed up. The kind to accept his failures and love his faults.

And for this I thank you, I applaud you, and I cheer for you.

I thank you for accepting the man that I could not. I thank you for allowing him to grow into the man you deserve. I thank you for being his "one." And most importantly, I thank you for making sure I wasn't "the one."

I applaud you for loving the man that I could not. I applaud you for waiting on him to become a man worth waiting for. I applaud you for entering into his family and allowing him to enter yours.

I cheer for you and only you. I cheer for you to be happy, whether that is with him or not. I cheer for other women to have the life they want. If yours is with him, then I cheer for both of you. But I will also cheer for only you if he does something to make you want to leave him. I will also cheer for your safety and for your sanity. Always.

At the end of the day, I do not know what kind of man he is now. I do not know what kind of husband he is. I do not know what kind of wife you are. If he is a kind and loving man, one that does not mentally, emotionally, or physically tear you down each day, if he is a trustworthy and trusting husband, one that is secure in his life with you; if he is the kind of man that your parents dreamed of for you, then I will continue to be content with the joy that he brings you.

However, if he is a mean and rude man, one that continues to slowly tear you down day by day, if he is an untrustworthy man and a man that does not trust, one that is constantly insecure in himself and live with you, if he is the kind of man your parents dreaded coming near their daughter, then I will be here ready and willing to take on your cry for help. I will be here with advice, shelter, and comfort.

If he becomes the man that cheated on me if he becomes the man that I wished would take responsibility for his actions, if he becomes the man that I left, know that you have a sister and friend in me. Know that whatever your choice may be, I will support you and your life decisions.


A Woman That Continues To Support Women

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