Don't Be Ashamed Of Being The Girl That Falls Too Quickly

Don't Be Ashamed Of Being The Girl That Falls Too Quickly

Falling in love quickly is not a curse, but rather, a gift.

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I get what it means to "fall too quick." I have had several relationships that I have written about multiple times, but not until recently have I really embraced my role as a habitual monogamist.

Now, I realize when I say this that ist' not the best thing to be. Being the person that's constantly in a relationship can create feelings of codependence or insecurity. For me though, I think it is a good thing.

I have come to terms with the fact that I tend to be the girl always with a boyfriend. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I enjoy relationships, dating and making things work long-term with someone.

So when I say I fall too quick or I fall too hard, it doesn't mean I "love," them, I just love my time with them.

I love investing time and energy into something I really want. Knowing I have someone to come home to every day, someone I can learn new stuff from or someone just to vent to is an alluring circumstance to me.

To the people who fall too quick, it is OK and you cannot let anyone tell you otherwise.

We wear our hearts on our sleeves. We typically like sharing feelings and intimate moments with others and love with a ferocity like no other.

We are the people who remain loyal in the face of adversities and we give our trust to those that we believe cherish our time. When relationships don't work out, we may mope for months on end, but we come back stronger and kinder than before because we know what it's like to have our hearts broken.

Relationships are fun, always exciting and bring joy to our lives. On the flipside, ending these relationships is just as crazy in terms of emotions.

As someone who falls too fast, investing themselves in a relationship as quickly as it starts, I understand the intensity of a break up like no other. In the beginning, there is the honeymoon phase where the person you are seeing can do no wrong. You want to hang out with them constantly and tell them about every minute of your day.

You may go on dates and meet their friend group. You will spend so much time together, having inside jokes and even doing chores and errands. You may even make it official by this time, maybe going as far as talking about the future or meeting their family.

You will begin to feel so important and so essential to their lives. Until one moment, you're not.

A moment may occur where you realize that your feelings aren't being reciprocated. Or there may be a time that your relationship ends.

You can be the most realistic lover in the world and yet, every ending or revelation still feels worse than the last. This is the hardest part about falling too quick for somebody.

You see, being a person who falls too quickly for someone is tough. You constantly think of why things ended or weren't what you envisioned. The reason is that we love, love.

As young people, we envision this idealistic type of love and we deserve it. No matter how much we deserve it, sometimes it is just not meant to be. We need to remind ourselves that that is OK.

It is OK to feel all the feels when relationships end, it is OK to move too fast as long as we feel like the pace is right and it is OK to move on from relationship to relationship as long as you are ready.

Someday you will find the person you are meant to be with. Someday you will find someone who wants to move along at the same pace as you. Someday you will find someone who reciprocates the same energy and love you put out.

Pride yourself on how fast you fall. You are the most ferocious lover and greatest friend.

Falling is not a curse, but rather, a gift.

Once you receive the same gift you give, you will realize how it is all worth it.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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