I Am So Jealous Of The Way My Parents Met—Without A Dating App

I Am So Jealous Of The Way My Parents Met—Without A Dating App

There's nothing like a cute and classic love story.

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Now I know this sounds crazy, it sure is to me, but my parents actually didn't meet on a dating app. In fact, Tinder, Bumble, Christian Mingle, MeetaMormon, and other dating sites did not exist. Therefore, people were actually forced to talk face-to-face and interact with each other.

What a concept!

I feel like as the days go on, new inventions arise, app updates blow up our phone, we get more closed off from each other, and sucked into the world of the web. We correspond through a series of text messages and emojis, making it impossible to judge tone. This means miscommunication is a common occurrence.

Nowadays a lot of couples meet on Tinder, or some sort of dating website. And nothing is wrong with that, I just miss the old-fashioned way of dating without the use of technology.

Men used to ask women out on dates in person. Girls would call guys on the phone and they would spend hours talking late into the night. Dates would consist of flowers and a sweet dinner or some romantic gesture.

We have traded those sweet memories and moments for texts to "hang out," as well as a collection of "stories," "streaks," and "goals." Many times, we care more about the picture, than the moment itself. Long and deep conversations are replaced by sitting side-by-side and watching a movie, both on their cell phones.

My parents grew up in a small town together and went to elementary school together. They would all play kickball together, as well as "house." My parents would play the mom and dad in their friend group. In fifth grade, my dad wrote my mom a note. It read, "Want to go out with me?" With two boxes of "yes" or "no." My mom, always the mature one and thinking into the future, thought she was too young to date and checked the no box.


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Shortly after, my mom moved three hours away to a bigger town and spent life going to school, cheerleading, and dating guys who are now either bald or divorced (according to Facebook). My dad stayed in his hometown until he left for college.

They both ended up going to the same college and met one day through mutual friends. They immediately became good friends. After pining after each other for months (neither wanted to risk their friendship), they finally went out on a date. My dad would always call my mom, they would pray together, and they enjoyed each others company. Two weeks later my dad asked my mom if she wanted to marry him as they were hanging out. My mom said yes after they graduated college and a few years later he proposed on a beach and they got married.

Fast forward 25 years later and they have three kids, one dog, have moved to three different states, and are still as ridiculously in love as they were when they met. The closest thing to a fight they've ever had is when my dad is driving and freaks my mom out. They have nothing but kind words for each other and always put each other first. They still go out on little dates and tease each other. My dad once brought home cookies, to which all of us kids ate them. When my mom came downstairs and saw we didn't save any for her (sorry mom), my dad pulled out another box of cookies he had bought just for her.

Cute, right?

My parents didn't have the dating apps or the cell phones. They had to do it the "old-fashioned" way, aka talking and communicating. Their love story is cute and innocent and something I hope I can someday have. I want the cute boy-meets-girl love story that doesn't involve an app.

So as I wait for my story to play out, I will look to my parents for an example of what a beautiful and Godly relationship should be and take notes.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

7 Essential Details To Remember When Planning YOUR Wedding

Because after all, it is YOUR damn day.

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Recently I've been really struggling to figure out what to do for my wedding. This isn't because I don't know what I want, but because deciding anything ultimately effects someone. I decide I want to do it this year but this year doesn't work for Denise, so I could do it the year after, but Susie Q is going back to school and that conflicts with her schedule.

I could do a small, simple wedding, but my Grandma always wanted me to get married in a Church. Oh, what about a destination wedding? Well, that would work for a lot of people, but not Tiffany-she can't afford it…Becky has other obligations the only week my favorite resort is open in my dream year of getting married. Maybe a courthouse wedding? Yeah, I could do that…but my dad always dreamed of walking me down the aisle.

You see ladies-I'm freaking exhausted.

I'm exhausted trying to plan the wedding that EVERYONE ELSE BUT MYSELF wants me to have. I'm tired of having to justify why I want something to someone else. I'm tired of having to reason with people. I'm tired of feeling bad for not accommodating others.

I'm just mentally and physically exhausted planning my own wedding-something I really wanted to enjoy.

In times of frustration, I've scribbled down a few reminders to mutter to myself when things get a little chaotic. It's important in some way or another-we embed these thoughts into our minds because honestly? We deserve to be reminded, even if it's us doing the reminding.

1. THIS IS YOUR DAMN DAY!

It's weird we even have to tell ourselves this right? I mean we are the ones shelling out thousands, spending late nights planning centerpieces, and trying to find the perfect photographer. Sadly, yes, we have to remind ourselves because of a lot of people that know you close to you or not-will try to make it about them. ---It's your day. It's your day. It's your day.

2. Not everyone is going to be pleased with your decisions.

I'm a people pleaser. I thoroughly enjoy searching for ways to make everyone happy because I get insane anxiety from thinking anyone is mad at me. ESPECIALLY when it's someone I deeply care for. However, there is no way I'm able to get approval from everyone I really love. No matter what I decide, someone won't be able to make it, another won't like the dress, and someone else may be furious you're serving meat when they're vegetarian. YOU CAN NOT WIN, so stop trying to win for other people. Just win for yourself.

3. Whoever makes it about them is selfish.

It sounds harsh, I know, but ask yourself this one question: "Would you ever make THEIR day about you?" The answer is probably no. Me personally, no matter who it was my brother, best friend, or cousin-I would not make their day about me. Even if I hated the dress she chose, even if she picked a date that I couldn't make, even if my brother ran off to elope…It's their damn day-not mine. I would never make it about me because *drum roll *: it's not about me. If you're constantly double checking and worrying about people being upset by something YOU decided for YOUR wedding on YOUR day, then those people are shitty because they have made it about them, and that's extremely selfish.

4. The people who love you will be supportive with whatever you decide.

My fiance and I have decided on a destination wedding. There are a lot of reasons why, and ultimately it just ended up working the best for us. With deciding this-we knew a lot of people:

A.) Wouldn't be able to make it

B.) Wouldn't be able to afford it

C.) Wouldn't want to travel outside of the country

D.) Have other obligations that prevent them from attending

Never ONCE did we get angry or upset with anyone who straight up said-"Hey I know I won't be able to swing this." We get it, and it was just a risk we were willing to take. However, some people were still mad about our decision-even though it wasn't their decision to make. However, there are so many people that have been nothing but supportive, and that love and support have been something I'll never forget. For as many people that make it difficult for you, you'll have another handful who will make it a day to remember. There's always some silver lining in the mix at some point.

5. You DO NOT owe anyone an explanation or justification.

-Why have I felt the need to justify to friends, family, and my own bridal party WHY I'm deciding on something for my wedding? The last time I checked it was my wedding, right? Listen because this is super important: You don't need to justify anything you want for your wedding to anyone that isn't your fiance. You want it at a certain location-not anyone else's decision. Do you want to have it in the middle of the winter? Not anyone else's decision. Do you want to have the bridal party wearing cowboy boots with their dresses? NOT THEIR FREAKING DECISION. Stop feeling bad and explaining yourself for something YOU WANT TO HAPPEN on YOUR DAY! If you remember anything from this article-remember that.

6.  Life happens

Life is always unpredictable. There will be things that arise during your planning that you didn't anticipate. Though it's easier said than done, try not to let it alter your day or attitude. Some people you love won't be able to make it, your dream venue may be booked up the year you desperately want to get married in, a bridesmaid may drop out, and a caterer might screw up a dish. This shit happens, but your guests won't care one way or the other. As long as you don't let this ruin your wedding experience overall-everything will be okay…That's something I can promise.

7. All that matters at the end of the day is that you're married to the person you want to spend your life with

In all of the chaos that has already arisen (still pretty far away from my wedding) I have been telling myself from the beginning that at the end of the day I only really care about being the wife to the guy I love. Every time someone says something to hurt me tries to talk me out of something I feel passionate about doing or informs me of something intentionally meant to stress me out-I breathe, tell myself I'll marry a guy that I love, and move on with my business. I'm not saying it never gets to me, but the thought of spending my life with my fiance excites me more than these people's negative thoughts stress me out. At the end of all of this, you won't look back at your wedding and think of all the things you didn't like because you'll be too busy gleaming over the fact it happened. You're lucky enough to find someone you WANT to spend your life with, and seriously not everyone is lucky enough to say that. Though it's challenging, try to remember people are selfish, and not everyone has your best interest at heart. However, there are ALWAYS people that'll go above and beyond to make you focus on yourself, and I'm lucky to have some of those people apart of my special day. So when it gets stressful and yes it will get stressful…remember that you've got this. It's your day, and you can do whatever the hell you want with it.

Sincerely,

The Bride-To-Be

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To My Future Fiance, If You’re Proposing To Me For The Instagram Content, Have Fun Posting A Video Of Me Saying ‘No’

Whoever you are, take notes for future reference.

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OK, OK, he can propose to me in public, but if it's a grand event that has nothing to do with my character, then 100% I'm saying, "No, try again."

I hope that one day someone special has my heart and wants to spend the rest of their life with me. But I want them to really know who I am. Inside and out and all around. I'm not a showy person, I'm not into social media, and I don't want a 20-carat ring. There's nothing wrong with any of those things, but it's never been for me. It's just not me.

I'm never going to do anything because someone else or the general society thinks or says I should do it. I like to defy society and do what's best for me. Even if I do something that is acceptable by society's standards, I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for me. I always say, "If someone wants to get to know me then they shouldn't judge what they see, read, or hear, they should just say, 'Hi,' and we can go from there." I don't post something for others to see, I post it for myself. Because it makes me feel good. Because I impulsively want to.

So, I want my fiancé's initial feeling of complete and absolute love to be blurted out to me ASAP. You don't have to keep your passions hidden while you plan a huge fiasco with balloons and confetti and "Will you marry me?" clouds in the sky. I don't need that for you to tell me you love me.

My dream proposal would be us cooking and taste tasting dinner, dancing, and singing to our favorite song when you just pause to look at me and ask, "You wanna get married?"

Of course, I'd question if you're being serious or not, but if we've already discussed the future and our hearts are in the right place, I'd melt in your arms.

You're not proposing to me to show off our love to your Facebook friends. You're proposing to me because you want nothing else but me. If you want to plan something special afterward, go ahead. Thoughtful surprises make me feel so special, but make sure that it's planned for me.

My long-distance boyfriend recently surprised me with a visit by calling my parents to figure out just how to leave me open-mouthed. I realized how much I appreciated the planning and arrangement. No one has ever done that for me before and I won't lie, I loved it. I wouldn't mind a fun proposal. I would be eternally grateful for the thought behind it, but I want the initial question to be intimate, personal, and tailored for me.

At the end of the day, sure, the proposal can be out and about in public, but I want the focus to be us. Not just me or you, but our relationship and our future. I don't care if other people don't think you love me enough because the proposal wasn't a showstopper. I know how you feel about me and that's all that matters.

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