We all have that one friend who dates that guy who is a complete psychopath literally everyone hates. She dates the guy who has to know her exact location at all times, who freaks out if she doesn't text back quick enough, who is anti "girl's night" and just plain sucks. She's in a toxic relationship and it sucks.
She is the Heidi Montag of the friend group. The friend who doesn't seem to know her worth and as a result settles for the biggest douche bag known to man. Maybe you're that friend. Maybe you've been that friend. Either way, it can be frustrating to watch a guy treat your best friend like absolute shit.
As a friend you feel obliged to tell her to run far away, to leave him high and dry, but what do you do when your friend refuses to leave her boyfriend who the biggest fuckboy? I can tell you what not to do.
Do not give up on your girl!
As a friend, you need to be there, no matter how dumb she is being, because eventually she will finally come to her senses, and when she does she will need her friends to back her. I know it's hard to stick with a friend who skips out on girl's night and has been MIA since her newfound relationship, but I can promise you that your friend needs you now more than ever.
If she ever comes to her senses you will be there.
If she needs someone to talk to and remind her of her worth you will be there.
If she is scared of being alone after the breakup she will know you will be there and be more likely to break up with her boyfriend.
Someday you might need her when YOU are that friend.
Boys —not men, boys—who are toxic like to manipulate, control and disrespect their girlfriends to make them feel alone. Doing this makes her think she can never leave him because she has nobody else to turn to. If you discard your friend because you hate her boyfriend you are doing just what he wants you to do, and worse, you are making the odds of her to breaking up with him minimum to none.
You don't have to be supportive of the relationship to be there for your friend. You can avoid her boyfriend and still make it known she isn't alone. A text or phone call to remind her of that can go a long way. Sometimes your friend just needs to be reminded how worthy she is.
I have been that friend dating the sucky guy. I have been the Heidi Montag, but I have also been the Lauren Conrad. I have been that friend who stopped being there because I don't like my friend's boyfriend.
To my friends who stuck with me in my sucky relationships—thank you. You are the reason I had enough love for myself to ditch the guy who treated me like shit.
Your friend needs love and affirmation, she needs to be reminded of her worth, she needs to know she deserves better, and when she finally has the balls to end the relationship, she will be more than thankful you didn't give up on her—and who knows—maybe she'll return the favor, too.