If I Get Married, I Don't Need An Offical Wedding

If I Get Married, I Don't Need An Offical Wedding

You can't run from the altar if you weren't at one to begin with.

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Last week, my mom got remarried. I'm super happy for her, and I know she's with a great guy, and all of my friends that knew were so excited. The one question I got asked the most was: when's the wedding? To which I responded: I have no clue. My mom has already had one wedding, and for her, that was more than enough. So, they went and got the documents signed (or whatever needs to be done) at the courthouse when they went on a super cool vacation to California, instead of paying for some big ceremony and/or a reception.

Honestly, I kind of see the appeal of it. As I've gotten older, I've definitely become less feminine, and if you don't see me wearing pants, I'm either at a swim meet or had to dress nicely for a banquet or presentation. Therefore, down the road, if I ever decide to get married, I don't think I'd want any sort of wedding.

My first issue would be the dress, of course. People on shows such as Say Yes to the Dress are willing to spend thousands of dollars for a dress that they wear for one day of their lives. Personally, I'd rather spend that kind of money going on a really dope vacation, or putting it towards saving up for a house, car, or some other expensive purchase.

Next issue: wedding receptions. I've only been to a couple weddings before, but it seems like it would be so stressful to try and plan how many of your close family and friends would be allowed to come to watch you get married, and then pay for a massive party to celebrate it. I know I would want a small group of people but at the same time I know I'd want as many of my friends there as possible. Why deal with the stress of seating arrangements and picking meals and deciding whether or not to have an open bar when you can just avoid the problem altogether?

Last major issue: I'm not really religious. None of my immediate family has ever been the type to go to church or be super involved in any specific religion, and so I've grown up not really having a church I attend, or any particular desire to start going to church. Since most weddings are in churches, I don't think I'd ever really feel right to have an important ceremony like that in a place that doesn't really have any significance to me when I could just go to a courthouse and save the time.

That being said if whoever I did decide to marry wanted a more official ceremony or to do it in a church, I would be open to reconsidering. Marriage and relationships and general work based on compromise, and I would like to believe I'd be willing to do some of these things if it truly made my significant other happier.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

6 Reasons Sober Weddings Are Better Than Open Bar Receptions, For Anyone Keeping Tabs

Prepare for the party of the century.

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As anyone who has even thought about wedding planning knows, there is one question that plagues the future couple more than anything else—to open bar, or not to open bar?

Open bars are usually highly favored among guests but can leave the bride and groom with a huge financial burden. According to Cost Helper, an open bar tab can cost as much as $90 per guest, not including paying your bartenders and tipping. Yikes!

So, while it may disappoint some of my guests, no, I don't plan on having an open bar. And yes, my reception will still be the party of the decade.

SEE ALSO: If You Don't Have An Open Bar At Your Wedding, Don't Invite Me

1. I'll be saving all of that booze money for my honeymoon.

Instead of dropping literally hundreds of dollars on alcohol for my guests, I'll gladly be saving that money so that I can go to an even better all-inclusive resort with my new hubby. Maybe it's selfish, but a whole week of fun for myself is more important than one night of fun for my guests.

2. You only get one wedding, I don't intend on having drunk people ruin it.

Sure, someone getting a little too tipsy can make for a funny story years down the road, but who's not to say that someone gets way too drunk and ruins the whole day? Unfortunately, when other people drink their actions are out of your control and I would hate for one of my friends to get too drunk and really mess up my one and only big day.

3. Open bars do NOT equal a fun wedding.

Typically when I mention to people that I don't plan on having an open bar reception I get the comment "oh, so you don't want to have a fun wedding?"

Sure, an open bar can be fun, but you can just have much fun without an open bar as well. Trust me, the playlist will still be incredible and everyone is guaranteed to leave more than satisfied.

4. Everyone will be safe on their drive home.

I would never want to experience the guilt of having a loved one pass away the night of my wedding because they drank too much. Call me overly cautious, but not having an open bar is just one more way to make sure that everyone stays safe.

5. This is a wedding, not a club.

We all had our college days and early 20s to explore the party scene. And if that's still your thing when I'm getting married, awesome, but save it for the next weekend. This is a wedding that my entire family will be attending and I'd rather it not turn into an episode of "Jersey Shore."

6. Everyone will be guaranteed to remember my wedding day.

I'm not planning for months, paying thousands of dollars, and buying the most important dress of my life for people not to remember it! Sorry, not sorry.

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Sorry, But If You Propose On My Wedding Day, You're Getting Cut Off

There are 365 days in the year and you had to pick THAT one?

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I know this may sound ridiculous to some people, but I've wanted to get married since I was a little kid. I loved everything that it represented. Although I could never fully picture or dream up what my wedding would specifically look like (besides various Pinterest board ideas), I wanted that lifetime love and commitment more than anything.

It goes without saying that all of my closest friends know how important marriage is for me. Knowing my perspective on marriage is a key aspect of understanding who I am as a person. I've changed in a number of ways over the years, but that one quality has been unyielding.

Recently, I've seen countless videos on Instagram and Twitter of people proposing on someone else's wedding day. And every time I see them, I think the same thing.

There are 365 days in the year and you had to pick THAT one?

Kudos to the brides and grooms who were nice enough to allow that, but that kind of thing is not going to fly at my wedding.

All of the love and attention from friends and family should be directed towards the happy couple.

If you decide to propose on my wedding day, you: 1) never paid attention during the deep and personal conversations that we had, 2) don't know me well enough to know why it would hurt me so much, or 3) are just plain selfish. Regardless of the reason, it's an unforgivable offense.

Yes, the simple act of a proposal would ruin my wedding.

I'm only going to get married once. I only get one day for that. A day that I've been anticipating for over a decade and a half. A day that I'm going to spend thousands of dollars planning. A day that I've been hoping and praying would be perfect because I'm going to remember it for the rest of my life.

That's a pretty big deal, right?

I know that there could be meaning behind a proposal on a wedding day. The whole "wedding process" started with an engagement. The wedding is the grand finale. So by proposing on someone's wedding day, you're kind of rekindling the wedding process again. A circle of life — circle of love, so to speak.

But I don't think that's cute, ESPECIALLY if it goes against a bride's wishes. I would even call that tacky and thoughtless.

To put it simply, receiving a wedding invitation should feel like an honor. The bride and groom are allowing you to come to their ceremony. And by RSVPing, you're acknowledging that you'll show your full support and be on your best behavior.

So please show me enough respect to wait at least a day before getting on one knee.

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