If I Get Married, I Don't Need An Offical Wedding

If I Get Married, I Don't Need An Offical Wedding

You can't run from the altar if you weren't at one to begin with.

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Last week, my mom got remarried. I'm super happy for her, and I know she's with a great guy, and all of my friends that knew were so excited. The one question I got asked the most was: when's the wedding? To which I responded: I have no clue. My mom has already had one wedding, and for her, that was more than enough. So, they went and got the documents signed (or whatever needs to be done) at the courthouse when they went on a super cool vacation to California, instead of paying for some big ceremony and/or a reception.

Honestly, I kind of see the appeal of it. As I've gotten older, I've definitely become less feminine, and if you don't see me wearing pants, I'm either at a swim meet or had to dress nicely for a banquet or presentation. Therefore, down the road, if I ever decide to get married, I don't think I'd want any sort of wedding.

My first issue would be the dress, of course. People on shows such as Say Yes to the Dress are willing to spend thousands of dollars for a dress that they wear for one day of their lives. Personally, I'd rather spend that kind of money going on a really dope vacation, or putting it towards saving up for a house, car, or some other expensive purchase.

Next issue: wedding receptions. I've only been to a couple weddings before, but it seems like it would be so stressful to try and plan how many of your close family and friends would be allowed to come to watch you get married, and then pay for a massive party to celebrate it. I know I would want a small group of people but at the same time I know I'd want as many of my friends there as possible. Why deal with the stress of seating arrangements and picking meals and deciding whether or not to have an open bar when you can just avoid the problem altogether?

Last major issue: I'm not really religious. None of my immediate family has ever been the type to go to church or be super involved in any specific religion, and so I've grown up not really having a church I attend, or any particular desire to start going to church. Since most weddings are in churches, I don't think I'd ever really feel right to have an important ceremony like that in a place that doesn't really have any significance to me when I could just go to a courthouse and save the time.

That being said if whoever I did decide to marry wanted a more official ceremony or to do it in a church, I would be open to reconsidering. Marriage and relationships and general work based on compromise, and I would like to believe I'd be willing to do some of these things if it truly made my significant other happier.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Asked 10 Brides What They Wish They Had Done Differently While Wedding Planning And Their Responses Ring True

When the engagement celebration sets in and the wedding planning begins, 10 brides give their advice on how to plan a kick-ass wedding.

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Maybe it's just me, but I was almost in a state of denial after our engagement. I was on this cloud and I didn't want to start thinking about what's next. But a week later we started thinking about possible dates, venues, and budgets and that when the stress began— which wasn't fun.

It's hard not comparing one's wedding and planning processes to those of the movies and other friends. But every wedding is as different as the couple themselves are; that's what makes a wedding spectacular and amazing! So with wedding planning, I have found some of the best advice I have received has been from first-hand experience. These 10 Brides have something to say when asked the question, "What is one thing you wish you hadn't stressed so much when planning your wedding?"

1. Too much pressure on the event.

"Putting too much emphasis on the event, rather than the reason for being there. Make a commitment to God and each other to make it through the good and the bad times. That's what really matters!" Denise, married December 24th, 1994

2. Take in the moment and live it!

"About the wedding day being perfect, it's gonna go how it's gonna go. Don't stress about it, just take in the moment and live it. Oh and don't be a bridezilla. Ruins the day and the mood." Kayla, married December 9th, 2016

3. Do only what you want to do!

"Worrying about everyone else! It's YOUR DAY! Do only what you want to do!" Ashleigh, June 7th, 2017

4. Don't stress the small stuff!

" Planning wasn't that stressful for me! But when it came to the actual day, there were so many things that I was like, 'this literally doesn't matter.' Such as the flowers or decorations or the little details. Of course they were all great and everything looked amazing. But little details you don't even notice on your wedding day. For me, the day went by SOOO fast! Everything was so fast paced and so I didn't even have time to glance at the decorations table or card table. Don't stress the small stuff! Because on your actual day, it'll be the last thing on your mind! Because you'll just wanna see your groom so bad that nothing else matters!" Kelsie, married August 19th, 2018

5. Too many little details that nobody else cared about.

"Too many little details that nobody else cared about that I cared about too much! So much time went into it which I loved, but it's more about spending time with all the people that you love in your life! They don't care how much money you spend on the day or if everything goes perfectly. They just want you to have a good day and they want to celebrate you and your love and marriage!" Savannah, married October 1st, 2017

6. It's about you and your spouse.

"How much other people thought things are important to them. Dang this is my day and what's important to me and my spouse is what matters. It's about us." Denise, married July 28th, 2007.

7. Having the "perfect picture" like everyone else in my mind had.

"Definitely all the details that you don't really notice, like the seating chart at the reception. Don't stress about getting things done the week of the wedding, if it doesn't get done then it doesn't get done. You're going to get married regardless and no one will even notice it. I also had to keep reminding myself, it's about the marriage, not the wedding. Pictures/video were a big thing I stressed about because I wanted it all to be "perfect" pictures like everyone else in my mind had...I spent so much time finding pictures and trying to match those pictures that I didn't enjoy the picture finding process. I would also say that the night before the wedding don't stress too much about all the details that you hadn't gotten to because it's going to be beautiful and you need sleep, especially if you are going on your honeymoon right away because then you wind up sick...
One big one I stressed about a lot was how well all the pinks in my wedding matched (I'm OCD) Cloth napkins, table runners, the bridesmaid dresses, to the decorations." Presley, married August 18th, 2018

8. The guest list

"Honestly I stressed about the guest list the most and still do even now. Since my fiance and I are both from a small town and both have big families, it took us quite a while to get the guest list figured out. Our wedding budget was also a factor in determining how many people we wanted to have as well. At the wedding you want people there that are an influence on your life and it's hard looking back thinking of all the people that have been a part of it over the last many years. Once that was figured out it was a big relief, but it has also been fun planning everything. Even the guest list." -Morgan, getting married in June of 2019.

9. Thinking too much about making it different or comparable to other weddings.

"I'm a people-pleaser by nature. And because we are young I worried about people looking at our wedding and judging based on what we didn't have. I compared it too much to my other friends' weddings, YouTuber's weddings, and the stuff you see in the movies. And finances were a big stress in the early stages as well. But once we took a step back to just process what our wedding meant to us as a couple and what we want our marriage to be, we were able to lighten up a lot and have more fun! Yes, we had to refocus our finances and savings, but really we just kept reminding one another that this was one day to the rest of our lives together as husband and wife. The best is yet to come. - Megan (Me) Getting married in September of 2019!


It's easy to get into the mindset that your wedding has to be "perfect" and it has to look like weddings in the movies or in the pictures of other people. But that's what's amazing about weddings. They are uniquely yours. If you have a hard time getting out of this mindset like I do a lot of the time, just think about your fiance. Remember that you are committing forever to the one you love. Marriage is more than just one day.

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Your Bachelor Party Is Not An Excuse To Cheat

You're still in a long-term, committed relationship.

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I've always thought the stereotypical portrayal and concept of bachelor parties are idiotic. Getting married changes your life forever, so of course "one last night with the guys" makes sense, but where I draw the line is where a night of guys spending time together transforms into strippers and strip clubs.

Sorry boys, but your bachelor party isn't your "last night of freedom," so there's no point in you trying to come up with an excuse to validate cheating or other acts that would potentially harm your relationship before you even get married.

The way bachelor parties are treated in today's day and age makes it seem like your fiancé getting a drunken lap dance from some girl his buddies hired totally OK. That it's OK for him to get blackout drunk, make mistakes, and promise as a group of guys to never tell you what happened that night.

Well, it's not. It's a damn good way to get your wedding canceled, though.

It's still cheating.

Guys, you know without a shadow of a doubt in your mind that on any other day, your bride-to-be would lose her mind if you so much as had another girl's ass in your face, and rightfully so. The night before your wedding should be a time where you and your best guy friends all hang out, drink some beers at the bar, and have a good time. It shouldn't be a time where your best friends try to sabotage your relationship and you go along with it.

You're still in a relationship. If you're about to get married, odds are it's a pretty serious and long-term one. You didn't drop all that money on a ring just to luge beer out of a stripper's breasts right before your fiancée walks down the aisle.

You should care more about your relationship than to be OK with throwing it all away for one night. This isn't "The Hangover," you're not Bradley Cooper, so don't think you have to have one last crazy night where shit hits the fan.

You and your guy friends are still going to be friends after you have a ring on your finger. Getting married doesn't mean your wife is going to throw you down into a cellar and lock you away, never letting you have fun ever again. It's a loving, committed partnership.

You don't want to start off a marriage with regret, so don't be an idiot at your bachelor party. Your best friends should know better than to try and ruin your relationship right before the biggest milestone in it occurs. If they really try to screw you over by threatening your relationship, they're not really your friends. You don't have to stick dollar bills in a stripper's thong to have a good time together as guys, and you definitely shouldn't be doing that if you're in a committed relationship, no matter the occasion.

You're an individual with free will, but you're not a single man. Don't act like one unless you want to be one.

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