Don't Tell A Woman 'Her Clock Is Ticking' When You Don't Even Know

Don't Tell A Woman 'Her Clock Is Ticking' When You Don't Even Know

Asking a women if/when she will be having kids is both rude and insensitive.


"Your clock is ticking"

"Your time is running out"

As a woman, especially now reaching adulthood, I'm quite frequently asked about my plan for children. When I plan on having them, if I plan on having them and then the opinions of those who ask. If I say I'm not ready for kids yet, which I'm not being only 21, I get told not to wait too long. If I say I don't know when I'm having kids, which I don't because in truth it's often uncontrollable, I get told that I should know at this age.

If I tell them that I want to wait until I'm at least 26, they tell my my biological clock is ticking. I shouldn't wait, before it's too late.

Why do we ask women these questions? What if I was infertile? What if it was impossible for me to have kids on my own? How would I know how to answer these questions?

Those are the things nobody thinks about when they ask someone about their plans for children. Nobody thinks about the challenges that a woman can face while trying to get herself pregnant. It's not as easy as "just having sex" like it can be for most.

You often will meet women in your life who can't have kids, but really want to. When they get asked those questions, you're putting them in the most painful and uncomfortable situation possible. Her heart will break and she'll try to hold back the tears as the "what if" thoughts come rolling through. And because you asked her this question, she can't just disappear and walk away. She's forced to swallow back the lump in her throat and give you some kind of answer as to why she doesn't have kids.

Some women face the problem where they've tried having kids and they do get pregnant. But face problems early in the pregnancy where they lose the baby. Then they're struck with the reminder of what could've been.

Stop asking women anything about when or if they will be having children.

That is a personal question that should never be asked. Whether by a man or another woman. As a fellow woman, you should know not to ask another about their possibility of childbirth.

If a woman is waiting to have kids, do not tell her that her biological clock is ticking. Not only is it incredibly rude, but it is entirely insensitive. A woman should be allowed to decide when or if she wants to birth children. We do not live in the 1950's where every woman had to marry by a certain age and have kids right after.

We now live in a world where, women have a choice. Some women don't want kids, they'd rather focus on their careers and living their life. Some do want kids, but want to wait until they are out of college.

Whatever the case may be. Don't, ever, ask a woman about when she's having kids or if she's having kids. That is her business and her partners. Not yours. Unless she brings up the conversation with you first. Do not ask. Whether you have known her for years and especially if you have just met her.

Stop asking.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hello, I'm 24, And Yes, I'm A Virgin — And Yes, I'll Answer All Of Your Redundant Questions At Once

You read that correctly.


"What? Are you serious?"

"Wait a minute, there is no way you are telling me the truth."

"How are you still a virgin? Are you religious? Are you waiting for marriage? Why haven't you had sex yet? That's just so crazy..."

Welcome to my world.

First, let me introduce myself again. Hi there, my name is Reanna, I'm a 24-year-old writer and also a virgin, how do you do? The first thing in that sentence is the V word, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Now that isn't something I start going and telling people, trust me it's the last thing I want to do. I get bombarded with almost every single question up above and I hate answering it every time. The only time I decide to share it is if someone asks me something along the lines of sex or when I can't offer my opinion.

It's a little-known fact that I tend to hide from people but not anymore. Let the world know, is it's any of their business but guess what? I'm not the only one out there. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm certainly not. What bothers me most is when people start questioning it and looking at me like I'm crazy.

Fine, I'll answer your simple questions above.

Yes, I said I was a virgin. Yes, again, I'm dead serious. I'm telling you the truth, why lie? I'm still a virgin because I choose to be. No, I'm not religious. I don't want to ever get married so I'm not waiting for marriage. Again, I just haven't found the guy to have sex with and it is still my choice. Think it's crazy, just don't judge me.

Sex is sex, what's the big problem here?

If I choose not to sleep with a guy, I have the right to it. I have the right to be a virgin until I decide it is the best time not to be anymore. I already know I shocked you by the title but why should you be so shocked? Is it because most people lose their virginity in high school? Is it usually to their first boyfriend?

Nothing separates me from you.

You don't need to laugh or really comment on the sentence. If I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin. If you are not, then you're not. If you are, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a strange situation to be in when people look at you like you are an alien from a different planet. People get so surprised as if you just said you came from Mars.

Maybe this is my experience but I'm in no rush to have sex.

There comes a day when it may happen but I'm not rushing to find the one so to speak. Until then, I'm glad this is off my chest and I'm glad for you to know that. You know why? Because any guy you tell that to is desperate to change your mind, trust me. If you can't respect it, why should I be the one you sleep with?

So guys here is a complete tip: If a girl tells you she is a virgin, don't act so shocked, don't act so surprised.

Nod your head, respect the choice and move on. It's as simple as that.

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What It's Like Being A 20-Year-Old Virgin In The 21st Century

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Sex. The topic we only spoke of in hushed tones in the past has quickly become a part of our everyday interactions. It seems to be the center of our motivations, thoughts, actions, and feelings. This is the reason I don't feel uncomfortable dedicating this week's article to the subject. Now, mom and dad, if you're reading this, I won't be offended if you stop. I'd actually be quite happy. Everybody else, do me a favor and ask yourself this:

What does it mean to be a virgin in today's society?

There is a social stigma associated with being a virgin. We're all prudes, are mega-religious, and have never even thought about what it would be like to share a night with Ryan Gosling. Right? Wrong. I promise you the majority of virgins you'll meet are virgins by choice - not because their moms have them chained to a metal post with their legs strapped shut. I've been racking my brain about questions and concerns and the million-dollar-question I have for y'all is: If it's no big deal to have sex, then why is it a big deal not to have sex? I mean really, whose business is it anyway?

I feel the criticism from my own doctor at times. She'd ask, "Are you sexually active?" I'd respond with a lightening fast "No", which she'd follow with a quick sigh and an even quicker response, "Have you ever been sexually active?" Unreal.

In a culture so consumed by "Netflix and chill" and the infamous right swipe, it's hard not to constantly wonder when (and with who) my time will come. It's almost like we're racing against the clock of chastity. I wonder if Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, or Amelia Earhart worried about who'd swipe their V-card as much as I do? Probably not, they were too busy making the world a better place.

I can't go a day without hearing about sex, talking about sex, or honestly... thinking about sex (sorry, dad). I remember a time when it was "shocking" to discover anybody was having sex and now it's "shocking" to discover anybody isn't. The reactions I get when people discover I still hold the key to my innocence aren't only mildly insulting but sad. When did it become shameful to be a virgin? I'm only 20 years old. I've only lived 1/4 of my life and in no means do I feel rushed to get down and dirty.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't plan for my life to go this way. Shocker, but my Magic 8-Ball didn't prepare me for this. I am a huge supporter of doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you want to do it with. Hell, half of my friends aren't virgins and I'm happy for them. They were with someone they loved (or at least liked) and made a choice. I've made a choice too. I am evolving with the world around me and taking life one wine bottle at a time. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve. I want somebody who loves me, respects me, and understands where I'm coming from.

I'm prepared to deal with the douchebags and the nobody losers who can't deal with the decision I've made equally as much as I'm prepared to meet the guy who can.

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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