Breakups are a truly hopeless situation to go through, especially after spending so much time with one person. Long-term relationship breakups are especially hard because you spent such a long period of time with that person that there is an extensive adjustment period when you try to be by yourself for the first time in a while. There is no estimated “recovery time”, and it is different for every person.
These Do’s and Don’ts might make it a bit easier to adjust to the situation. These universal do’s and don’ts are bound to help in most break-up situations.
DO—Let It All Out
Take out your laptop or a notebook and take as long as you need to write it out. If you truly don’t have any hard feelings about it, sit and reflect on your relationship. When you’re done, and it might take you the span of a couple weeks to make sure you got it all out, you have two options. You can either get rid of it in any way you feel fit, or, if you feel brave, keep it. When you’re ready, you can re-read it when you aren’t experiencing multiple emotions. Take accountability where its due, and acknowledge your flaws. After you feel better, just get ride of it. It’s a liberating feeling to let go of all the emotions you packed into those pages.
DO—Put Their Stuff Away
If they want it back, leave it on the front door or just mail it to them. Put it all in a box, tape it shut, and shove it in the attic or the back of your closet. You don’t want to make any rash decisions that you’ll regret later. When you find the box in the future, you might get a smile reminiscing about all the good times you had.
DO— Become Emotionally Stable
This sounds easier than it is. You’re going to wake up feeling sad one day, and want to burn the world to the ground the next. Little things you see or do might set you off, so allow yourself to have a few days to get your emotions in check.
DO— Resume an Old Hobby or Find a New One
Maybe you lost time for yourself to do what you enjoyed individually, or there has been something you’ve been meaning to try. Now is a perfect time!
DO— Listen to Some Really Sad Music
You’re allowed to sit in bed and listen to music that makes you cry. Eat in bed while you listen if you really want to. Sometimes music helps you get the tears out that you aren’t allowing yourself to shed.
DO— Stay in with Some Friends
Have a girl’s night where you can drunk-cry and be surrounded by people who won’t judge you. The last thing you need is to go out to a bar and end up crying to the guy that just bought you a drink about your tragic breakup.
DON'T—Hook Up or Rebound
You’ll probably have too many mixed emotions afterward, and it will just confuse you. Take the time to breathe. There is no point in ruining someone else’s emotions just to make yourself feel better or to help you decide if you’re over your ex or not.
DON'T—Trash Talk Your Ex
You wouldn’t want them throwing your name around, so don’t do it to them. Obviously, your closest friends are going to hear all about it, but the whole world doesn’t need to know. Stay off social media for awhile before you post anything that would make things worse.
DON'T—Block Them On Social Media
This is absolutely unnecessary and won’t make you feel better in anyway. Take the time to calm down, find yourself, and reflect. Once you think you’re ready, you can check in on how they are doing…you know you want to. If you’re unhappy with what you see, it's up to you to decide whether or not to keep them on your social media or not.
DON'T—Play the Blame Game
Pointing fingers wont make any of you feel better. There is nothing either of you could’ve done to prevent this from happening. The sooner you accept it, the better.
You broke up for a reason. Maybe there were things you just couldn’t see past, or forgive, or you were going in opposite directions. Just remember, you didn’t spend months or years with this person for no reason. The relationship wasn’t a total waste. That was the person you were in love with, and you should never take that time for granted. After all, they were the person that made you truly happy at a time in your life.