The Do’s And Don’t's After A 'Mutual' Breakup

The Do’s And Don’t's After A 'Mutual' Breakup

Doing crazy things won't make you feel better.
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Breakups are a truly hopeless situation to go through, especially after spending so much time with one person. Long-term relationship breakups are especially hard because you spent such a long period of time with that person that there is an extensive adjustment period when you try to be by yourself for the first time in a while. There is no estimated “recovery time”, and it is different for every person.

These Do’s and Don’ts might make it a bit easier to adjust to the situation. These universal do’s and don’ts are bound to help in most break-up situations.

DO—Let It All Out

Take out your laptop or a notebook and take as long as you need to write it out. If you truly don’t have any hard feelings about it, sit and reflect on your relationship. When you’re done, and it might take you the span of a couple weeks to make sure you got it all out, you have two options. You can either get rid of it in any way you feel fit, or, if you feel brave, keep it. When you’re ready, you can re-read it when you aren’t experiencing multiple emotions. Take accountability where its due, and acknowledge your flaws. After you feel better, just get ride of it. It’s a liberating feeling to let go of all the emotions you packed into those pages.

DO—Put Their Stuff Away

If they want it back, leave it on the front door or just mail it to them. Put it all in a box, tape it shut, and shove it in the attic or the back of your closet. You don’t want to make any rash decisions that you’ll regret later. When you find the box in the future, you might get a smile reminiscing about all the good times you had.

DO— Become Emotionally Stable

This sounds easier than it is. You’re going to wake up feeling sad one day, and want to burn the world to the ground the next. Little things you see or do might set you off, so allow yourself to have a few days to get your emotions in check.

DO— Resume an Old Hobby or Find a New One

Maybe you lost time for yourself to do what you enjoyed individually, or there has been something you’ve been meaning to try. Now is a perfect time!

DO— Listen to Some Really Sad Music

You’re allowed to sit in bed and listen to music that makes you cry. Eat in bed while you listen if you really want to. Sometimes music helps you get the tears out that you aren’t allowing yourself to shed.

DO— Stay in with Some Friends

Have a girl’s night where you can drunk-cry and be surrounded by people who won’t judge you. The last thing you need is to go out to a bar and end up crying to the guy that just bought you a drink about your tragic breakup.

DON'T—Hook Up or Rebound

You’ll probably have too many mixed emotions afterward, and it will just confuse you. Take the time to breathe. There is no point in ruining someone else’s emotions just to make yourself feel better or to help you decide if you’re over your ex or not.

DON'T—Trash Talk Your Ex

You wouldn’t want them throwing your name around, so don’t do it to them. Obviously, your closest friends are going to hear all about it, but the whole world doesn’t need to know. Stay off social media for awhile before you post anything that would make things worse.

DON'T—Block Them On Social Media

This is absolutely unnecessary and won’t make you feel better in anyway. Take the time to calm down, find yourself, and reflect. Once you think you’re ready, you can check in on how they are doing…you know you want to. If you’re unhappy with what you see, it's up to you to decide whether or not to keep them on your social media or not.

DON'T—Play the Blame Game

Pointing fingers wont make any of you feel better. There is nothing either of you could’ve done to prevent this from happening. The sooner you accept it, the better.


You broke up for a reason. Maybe there were things you just couldn’t see past, or forgive, or you were going in opposite directions. Just remember, you didn’t spend months or years with this person for no reason. The relationship wasn’t a total waste. That was the person you were in love with, and you should never take that time for granted. After all, they were the person that made you truly happy at a time in your life.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

12 Times IG Made Saying G-Bye To Halsey and G-Eazy Very Hard

Alexa, play "Him & I" on repeat.

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G-Eazy and Halsey went public with their swoon-worthy relationship on Instagram in September 2017. The couple recently broke up after several months of being on again, off again. But that didn't stop them from having the cutest displays of public affection all over their Instagrams during their courtship.

Here are the 12 cutest Instagrams of G-Eazy ad Halsey that make it all that much harder to let go of their relationship:

1. When they went to the AMA's and looked like the hottest couple at prom

2. When they spent a normal day by the pool just Mom, Dad & Pup 

3. When they took a casual ride down the gondola in Venezia, Italy

4. When they were too smitten for us to handle

6. When they had an impromptu photoshoot in a convenient store that could be on the cover of Vogue

7. When the show STOPPED as they graced the MTV Movie & TV Awards red carpet

8. When G posted a picture of his Mom and Halsey for International Women's Day (and I shed real tears)

9. When they showed us what pure bliss looks like (and he quoted their song for his caption)

10. When they kissed ON STAGE during a performance together and confirmed that they are the OTP

11. When G posted a candid picture of them kissing in the snow

Halsey and G-Eazy are the modern Romeo and Juliet as far as I'm concerned. They serve up a heavy dose of love on all of their social media accounts and prove to us time and time again that real love is out there and they're not afraid to show theirs off.

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I Watched The Boys I Hooked Up With Fall In Love With Other Girls And Wondered Why They Couldn't Love Me

Maybe I cared too much or I'm just not pretty enough. I guess I'll never know.

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When I was 20, I stopped going on dates because my first relationship was so toxic, it broke me. To save myself from future disappointment and minimize the chances of getting attached to any one person, I joined hookup culture.

For two years, I watched my friends with benefits fall in love with other girls. And I wondered why none of them ever loved me.

When I chose this lifestyle, I wasn't seeking a relationship—clearly. I wasn't completely closed off to the idea, despite my lingering heartache, but it wasn't something I initially desired. That also meant I didn't anticipate any of my FWBs wanting relationships either, much less falling in love. (Since when do f*ckboys try to tie themselves down?) Regardless, I envied the girls who singlehandedly convinced each of them to abandon a lifestyle they previously so desired, while wondering what it was about me that couldn't entice them to do the same.

To be quite honest, all of these relationships exceeded my expectations in their beginnings. Over time, I watched these boys truly love and fall in love with their girls. But alas, nothing is perfect and everyone is toxic in their own way. These relationships, like so many others, had their highs and almost equally as many lows, which only continued to make me wonder what about these girls was so worth the emotional scarring. It broke my heart that they found respite in someone and something so lackluster.

Unfortunately, I understood. I still do. We're hosts to an undying vice that acknowledges the necessity of escape, but simultaneously convinces us there isn't the possibility of one. I understood this so deeply, and the familiarity of their situations only wrung my heart.

Despite caring for a couple of these boys more than I cared for the others, I was never in love with any of them. Perhaps that's one of the reasons they couldn't love me. Regardless, it means my intent was never to replace any of the girls. It was simply to understand what it was about them and their somewhat f*cked up relationships that outshone me. Curiosity really did kill the cat.

Don't be mistaken—I have loved, and I've also been loved before. So it's not that I think I'm unworthy. But as I continued to learn more about these far-from-perfect relationships, I wanted answers. I was, and sometimes still am, suspended in turmoil, harboring a genuine curiosity for where these boys found fault in me and why they couldn't look past those flaws.

Today's nature would lead me to believe I just wasn't pretty enough for them. Or maybe I tried too hard or cared too much. Whatever the case, it doesn't matter because in some way, shape, or form, I just wasn't enough for any of those boys. And that's fine. Truly. You can't win 'em all, but after all the time we invested in each other, I just wanted to know why I wasn't any of their first choices.

Despite it all, whether or not their relationships at the time are still currently active, I'm at ease knowing they are capable of love. It's silly, but considering their undying habits, it's true. And I hope that one day, they find girls who will encourage them to leave those habits behind for good.

I never needed any of my friends with benefits to love me. I simply wanted to know why, after everything we'd been through, they didn't.

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