Our increased openness as a society to progressively view human sexuality can be attributed to the world's most famous sex therapist, Dr. Ruth Westheimer. For almost five decades, Dr. Ruth has used television, radio, books, and the internet to speak frankly on topics relating to sex and dating. In the fourth edition of her latest book, "Sex for Dummies," she devotes an entire chapter to millennial sex and dating — addressing the fact that we have reported higher rates of loneliness despite being the generation of connection and social media.
To add fuel behind her cause, she's partnered with discount travel website Hotwire.com to help promote quickie sex and quickie vacations for couples. This week I chatted with Dr. Ruth and she gave me some O so steamy advice.
Here are 8 tips she wants Gen Z and millennials to remember when it comes to sex, dating, and relationships:
1. Know what you and your partner expect from one another.
"In relationships, know what you want and expect from each other. I'm always thinking of quickie when I think of Hotwire because it is a great way to help please each other by surprising the other person with a getaway. It allows the other person to know that you're both in this together and want to make each other happy."
2. Be spontaneous and mix in some surprises.
"I like the element of surprise. For couples in a relationship, have sex before they go for dinner because if they have a sexual experience before, then the pressure is taken off. If it was successful, your partner will predict that the other person will continue to do it again and again."
3. Think big picture, even if it doesn't mean marriage.
"My advice for young couples is to know that you are both working toward a long-term relationship. It may not necessarily be marriage, but you want it to lead to an old-fashioned relationship."
4. Have meaningful conversations with your partner.
"When you have dinner or are in the car with someone, think about the art of conversation and find a topic that you both are interested in. Everyone should get off of their phones because it shuts out the other person, and makes the other feel like the phone is more important."
5. Get off your phone.
"My concern now is the loneliness I see. I think it has to do with the internet. People don't take time to date and the art of conversation is getting lost. Everybody is on their phones. Even when they go on a date, the phone is right there. I'm old fashioned and a square, and to me being social requires face-to-face interactions, not just face in your phone. Use those opportunities of a quickie getaway because the best way to combat loneliness is being with someone who you've made the time to get to know personally."
6. Make sex a priority!
"Don't put sexual experiences on the back burner. Make time."
7. Know where your relationship stands with your partner before having "quickie sex" so you don't feel lonelier.
"Make sure that they're in a relationship before sex. They don't necessarily have to be married, but being in a relationship first will give you a better understanding of what the other person is like and what the other person expects."
8. Find budget-friendly ways to go on "quickie trips" with your partner.
"College students and anyone who doesn't have big budgets can use this opportunity for a quickie getaway. You get the best out of a relationship with your friends, family, or partner when you connect with them on a quickie trip. Book a one or two-night "quickie" staycation in a luxury hotel in your hometown. Enjoy some much-needed alone time with yourself or significant other by grabbing room service and taking a dip in the pool or find a local restaurant you've never tried before and invite friends to join you. It will feel like you're all on vacation together. With Hotwire's Hot Rate Hotel deals that can save you up to 60 percent off regular hotel prices, this well-deserved break needn't break the bank."
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