I know the first thing that pops into your mind when I say "safe sex" is condoms, but emotionally safe sex is just as important. You want to feel comfortable and secure in any and every intimate setting.
I promise I'm not coming after casual sex. I have no reason to, but I am coming after unsafe, unprotected sex because when you are stripping it all down, you're more likely to get hurt.
Safe sex is knowing that your partner won't intentionally hurt you.
Whether that be emotionally, physically, verbally, sexually. You both understand that "friends with benefits" means, just friends. You both understand that a monogamous relationship means no "fuck buddies" on the side. You both understand that sexual chocking and playing is free game, but don't leave marks.
You do not have to be in love to have sex. You do not have to be in a relationship to have sex. It can be a no-strings-attached kinda deal. There are no rules, well, except for protection. And consent. OK, maybe there are some rules.
But, leave that as it be, feeling emotionally secure is a gigantic piece of our self-esteem. Sex can solely be physical. Just your bumping bodies, but, no matter how hard you try, you can't ignore your heart.
Both partners should be on the same page.
If one lover wants a relationship and the other is just there for sex, a broken heart is bound to happen.
Ask yourself: Do I trust my partner?
That can mean something different for everyone, but answering this question will help you ensure you're having safe sex. And, when you have safe sex, then you can finally let go. Your mind, body, soul, all that jazz is at peace.
If there is no trust, honesty, communication, then you aren't going to have good sex.
Sure, maybe you had an orgasm, but there could be some anxiety, fear, disappointment, betrayal that follows you when you realize your partner wasn't faithful. Even if you're at a party and hooking up with someone, make sure to understand the circumstances: did they sleep with anyone else that night? Are you sleeping with anyone else? What's to come out of this? Be happy with your answers before doing something you'll regret.
By all means, go out there and have fun. Own your body! But, protect it, too.
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