No, Equality Is NOT Ruining Your Marriage

No, Equality Is NOT Ruining Your Marriage

The only thing holding you back in your marriage is your ideas of what a marriage should be.

For the past few weeks I've been involved in many heated debates regarding politics specifically concerning gender with a few of my male classmates. One classmate sent me article titled, "Is equality ruining your marriage?" by Fox News writer Suzanne Venker as support for their claim that women actually prefer traditional gender roles in their marriages.

However, I believe Venker's arguments against "equal" marriages are faulty.

Venker sites research at the University of Illinois, which studied 1,500 men and 1,800 women between 52-60 years old, and found that if when women's paychecks increased, they reported more symptoms of depression, while when men's income increased so did their psychological well-being.

Now, this claim is completely understandable due to the gender politics of the 50's and 60's when 52-60-year-olds were growing up. It was traditional for women to stay home while men worked, and, as impressionable children, they learned what was normal and something to expect in their own marriages from watching their parents. Every child does this, and it forms our opinions and our future lifestyle choices, for better or worse. So, wouldn't it make sense that people in that age group would be uncomfortable with the idea of equal marriages?

If you've grown up with certain gender expectations and roles your entire life, and then after the Women's Movement you discovered the possibility that your lifestyle could change if you wanted to, since the idea arose that men and women could do the same jobs and both work outside the home, wouldn't you still be a little hesitant to adopt this new idea when it goes against everything you've ever been taught about your roles? I believe you absolutely would.

Most of us are creatures of habit, and we will always be uncomfortable with change. We like to stick with the way things are because we understand our past, and we are afraid of getting hurt by making drastic changes in our personal lives due to our innate fear of the unknown.

Still, even with that fear present, we shouldn't stick to a way of life that makes women feel inferior to their male counterparts. Women should still be able to (if they choose to) work outside of the home, and it should never be a man's decision for a woman to be a housewife. Women should not feel like they are expected to be homemakers if that route does not interest them, and women should not fear that they are somehow emasculating their husbands by earning more than them, or that they are somehow less feminine due to their higher income.

If you make more than your man, who cares?

If a man loves you, he will support your success and be proud, not shame you for your accomplishments.

Venker also states, "Typically speaking, a man's identity is inextricably linked to his paycheck. A woman's is linked to her children. That this does not hold true for every woman and every man doesn't change the fact that what drives most women is different from what drives most men."

Yes, that is true that most people feel comfortable with their traditional roles, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to fight them. Maybe, for some couples, "traditional" roles work for them, and if that is the case, great. However, I believe many women feel trapped and even afraid to speak out against their societally expected roles, and as a result, convince themselves that a certain lifestyle makes them happy when it is actually very unfulfilling or not something they enjoy.

I do not deny that there are women who want to be homemakers, but the problem is that some women feel forced to take that role when it is not well suited for them. If feminists (and I'm talking about the real ones that support equality, not the fake ones who've hijacked the movement and believe women are superior) keep supporting the evolution of the woman's place in society, then someday people may feel comfortable with women in any position in society.

Women should be reminded that they are just as capable of doing a man's job as a man is capable of doing his own job or a job traditionally reserved for females (teachers, nurses, etc.)

So no, Ms. Venker, I do not believe it is "natural for a woman to want to depend on her man, and [that] it is not natural for a man to depend on a woman."

Society has brainwashed us into believing that we should expect a man to take care of us, and men feel an extreme amount of pressure to support their families primarily, and sometimes even solely. THAT is what hurts families; when people force themselves into narrow definitions of what they feel they should be as wives and husbands, and get discouraged when they cannot fit that slot.

The only person a woman or man should ever depend on is themselves, and why equality in marriages isn't awful like you make it out to be.

Cover Image Credit: Scott Webb

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

16 Wedding Gifts Under $50 That'll Have Any Wedding Guest Say 'I Do'

Because being on a budget doesn't mean you have to arrive at a wedding empty-handed.


If you're on a budget but have a wedding to go to, it can be hard to find an affordable wedding gift you can buy for the bride and groom. You don't want to show up empty-handed, but you also don't want to spend an arm and a leg on a gift when there are plenty of other people attending who are better off affording certain items. (A good rule of thumb? Always try to "pay for your plate" — or the cost of what the bride and groom likely paid for you to be there.)

Most of the time, there are lots of things you can find on a registry under $50. Whether it be towels, a waffle maker or oven mitts, you can usually find SOMETHING in your price range. If not, this list is for you.

Brides-to-be: Here is a list of things to add to your wedding registry for your broke AF friends.

Broke friends: Here is a list of things to get if everything on your friend's list is way out of your price range.

1. Personalized cutting board

Personalized Cutting Board, 12 Designs & 3 Sizes, Bamboo Cutting Board, Wedding Gifts for Couple, Housewarming Gift & Kitchen Sign - Butcher Block Inlay Board #G

2. Cookbook

The Complete Cooking for Two Cookbook, Gift Edition: 650 Recipes for Everything You'll Ever Want to Make

3. Meat and cheese board

Bamboo Cheese Board and Knife Set - Charcuterie Board Set for Cheese Platter. Wood Serving Tray For Wine, Meat, Appetizers, Snacks - Entertaining Kitchenware Gift Ideas for Wedding and Housewarming

4. Handheld vacuum

Handheld Vacuum Cordless, HUNLEE 5KPA Powerful Suction Hand Vacuum Cordless Cleaner Rechargeable Hand Vac with 2.5h Quick Charge, Lightweight Hand Held Vacuum Cordless for Home and Car Cleaning

5. Carry on

COOLIFE Luggage Expandable(only 28") Suitcase PC+ABS Spinner 20in 24in 28in Carry on (White Grid New, S(20in)_Carry on)

6. Blender

NutriBullet NBR-1201 12-Piece High-Speed Blender/Mixer System, Gray (600 Watts)

7. Crock-Pot

Crock-Pot SCCPVL610-S-A 6-Quart Cook & Carry Programmable Slow Cooker with Digital Timer Stainless Steel

8. Bathroom towels

Luxury Hotel & Spa Bath Towel 100% Genuine Turkish Cotton, 27" x 54", Set of 4, White

9. Waffle maker

Cuisinart WAF-F10 Belgian Waffle Maker, Stainless Steel

10. Tools

DEKOPRO 128 Piece Tool Set-General Household Hand Tool Kit, Auto Repair Tool Set, with Plastic Toolbox Storage Case

11. Kitchen tools

Stainless Steel Kitchen Utensil Set - 29 Cooking Utensils - Nonstick Kitchen Utensils Cookware Set with Spatula - Best Kitchen Gadgets Kitchen Tool Set Gift by HomeHero

12. Baking dishes

Staub Ceramic 2-pc Rectangular Baking Dish Set - Rustic Red

13. Kitchen Towels

The Weaver's Blend Set of 3 Kitchen Towels + 3 Dish Cloths, Basket Weave, 100% Cotton, Absorbent, Size 28"x18" and 12'x12", Yellow Stripe, Kitchen Towels and Dish Cloths

14. Cute AF oven mitts

RED LMLDETA Oven Mitts Set of 2 with Transparent Clear Silicone Shell and Nice Dog Printing Cotton Lining, Heat Resistant to 500 F Kitchen Oven Gloves Pot Holder for Cooking (Blue)

15. Kitchen knife

J.A. Henckels International CLASSIC 8" Chef's Knife

16. Pizza cutter

16" Pizza Cutter by Kitchenstar | Sharp Stainless Steel Slicer Knife - Rocker Style w Blade Cover | Chop and Slices Perfect Portions + Dishwasher Safe - Premium Pizza Accessories

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10 Bible Quotes For The Engaged Couple That Can't Wait To Say 'I Do'

Make some room for Jesus in your head that's full of wedding bells.


Getting engaged is one of the most exciting experiences in a person's life. The whole world finally has more of an understanding of how deep and unconditional your love is for each other. After all, you have officially promised to spend the rest of eternity with that special person!

For many Christians, getting engaged is also a time for the couple to seek religious guidance.

Here are 10 Bible quotes that any couple anxious to say "I Do" should read.

1. 2 Corinthians 4:18

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-5

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

3. Isaiah 62:5

"As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you."

4. Matthew 19:6

"What God has joined together let no man put asunder."

5. Romans 12:9-10

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves."

6. Proverbs 31:10-11

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."

7. John 15:12

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

8. Mark 10:7-8

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh."

9. Proverbs 18:22

"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord."

10. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

Congratulations on your engagement, and remember to keep God close by for every step of the way.

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