My Ex-Boyfriend Is One Of My Greatest Friends, And I Couldn't Ask For Any Better

My Ex-Boyfriend Is One Of My Greatest Friends, And I Couldn't Ask For Any Better

Breakups do not need to just be an end, they can also be a beginning.


Breakups are always portrayed as these horrendous things—yelling, screaming, throwing objects. While my breakup with my ex-boyfriend was not like that, it sucked.

We were in love, but the distance became too difficult. I cried for months, mourning the boy who I talked to every day and shared my heart with. All I wanted to do was call him and tell him that we made a giant mistake and that we can work everything out.

There was a human-shaped hole in my life.

It is not like we were able to become friends right away—it took over a year to even text normally besides the intermittent "Happy Birthday" and "Merry Christmas." It took even longer to finally meet back up in person. It was too painful—too painful to see that, even without each other, life still went on. Too painful to look through old photographs be overcome with all of the memories and the emotions associated with them. Too painful to remember the last time you hugged, held hands, laughed.

Once we started talking again, it happened slowly, from catching up once-in-a-blue-moon to spontaneously sending YouTube videos that we know the other will crack up at. And slowly, I realized how much I missed him being in my life in some way, shape, or form.

Whenever I talk to friends from high school and mention us talking and hanging out, they always look taken aback and always ask why? Why stay friends with someone you have loved?

It may not be typical and it may not work for everyone but, for us, it is right.

He is one of the people who understands me in the world and, if I may be so blunt, I think I am one of the people who know him best. We bond over ridiculous memes and "high school" drama and life in general. We can hang out for hours on end and it can feel like only a few minutes. I trust him and know that I can depend on him.

Yes, I am friends with my ex-boyfriend. We have dated other people since breaking up, and here we are now as friends. Unlike how breakups are portrayed in movies and on television, I hope for the best for him. I hope that he is happy with whoever makes him happy and I hope he achieves his dreams. Just because someone is an ex does not mean they deserve ill-will wished upon them. Break-ups do not need to just be an end, they can also be a beginning.

So, to my ex-boyfriend and one of my greatest friends, this is what I have to say, I am thankful for you. My parents always told me that time will show who my true friends are. I have lost some friends who I thought would be in my life forever, but you have always been there to send me ridiculous memes and videos and to make me laugh after venting about irksome things. I am thankful for the memories we shared when we dated and I am thankful for the memories that we share now as friends. I look forward to seeing you when I come home for Christmas and for summer break.

I hope this message does not make you feel awkward, but just know how much I cherish your friendship. I hope that it never ends.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Guy Who Ghosted Me, You Broke Me Into Nothing By Saying Nothing, But Now I'm Bouncing Back

You betrayed me in a way I expected from any other guy but you


I thought I hit the jackpot. I thought it would take me quite some time to find someone to replace the guy I lost, who I didn't want to lose. I thought no one would come close to him, but that's when I met you. You made me forget about the pain of the past with your comforting words. You were so real, you have gone through your own sets of trials, been through hell and back in many aspects of life, and you were there to talk to me and feed me warm, happy maple syrup feelings I didn't think I'd feel again so soon.

You drip honey, so sticky on the inside but so innocent on the outside, upon first glance.

I gave in to you in every sense. I opened up, I told you things I don't like telling people, especially a random guy I'd just met. You're the kind of guy a girl can look at and say, "Wow, this is going to suck when you leave." You weren't supposed to leave.

I was the girl who wasn't a psycho like your exes, but you couldn't handle something too real, too tame. Your thrill for psychotic bitches is your downfall. I was going to ask you about where we stood and prove doubters wrong. You were the boy I wanted to bring home in a few months time, to meet my family, to meet all of my friends, but you never gave me the chance. You left me to plans that you knew would never happen. You betrayed me in a way I expected from any other guy but you and ripped out a part of me I don't think I'll ever get back.

I trusted you to a fault because I'm someone who always looks for the benefit of the doubt in a situation. I cut you slack, I gave you chances to tell me the truth. You owed me the truth and all I got was you watching my stories on Snapchat, an answer without words. You bought me flowers and candy for Valentine's Day and made me pasta twice because you knew I loved it. You let me meet your dog. How dare you do things for me to treat me like something so disposable? Did I ever even matter? I felt something so real, a cosmic connection, and you broke it with ease. You broke me into nothing by saying nothing, but now I'm bouncing back.

I may not be making any leaps or bounds at the moment, but I'm going to get back out there. It's unfortunate that you defiled the trust I had, but I'm not going to let that stop me from opening up to anyone else. It's just going to be a rougher road to walk on since you've taken the smooth exterior away. It took me days before I could really cry over you. I cried hot tears of true pain, that burned my face when they fell. That being said, those tears have stopped now. I prayed over getting you back, asking those watching over me to reverse what's written for me, to give me you again, to have you give me an answer.

You're not supposed to be with me. I'm not supposed to be with you. You're another step closer to who I'm supposed to be with. Maybe it's you, just down the line when you get it together, but I certainly am not holding my breath for you or anyone else who hurts me ever again.

You ghosted me, and now you're a part of the list of boys who have done the same thing. Your ghosting stung a lot and left me more vulnerable than usual. But I'm not letting you and your lack of respect for me prevent me from moving on. I won't see you around, except on Snapchat, watching my stories while I watch yours. I'm writing this for me as I heal and look forward to the day ambulance sirens and the sound of saying your name in conversations stops hurting me.

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Hey Little Sis, Heartbreaks Are Rough, But I Promise You That It's Going To Be OK

I've been there — we've all been there — and it sucks, but it's not the end of the world, I promise.


Dear Little Sister,

I know this sucks. Heartbreak is hard. Your first relationship lasted much longer than mine did, so I can only imagine how much more it hurts right now. I get it. But, you aren't alone in what you're feeling. So, here is my best advice for you.

Your feelings are completely valid

It does not matter if you broke up with him, or if you're still young, or anything anyone else wants to say. Your feelings are valid because they are what you are feeling. No one has the right to tell you what to feel—you have a right to feel your feelings fully.

Keep your chin up

You are a complete person all on your own—you don't need no man! You are great the way you are, and strong enough to get through it all.

Stay positive

This relationship didn't work out? That's OK! You're that much closer to finding the one that will. Mom's right—this just teaches you more of what you do or don't want in a relationship.

Don't jump into another relationship right away

I know you're used to having someone there, and the company and support are great. But don't let someone you care about become a rebound. If they really care about you, they'll wait until you're sure of yourself again. You deserve time to yourself.

You're going to learn who your real friends are—lean on them.

If your friends feel the need to pick sides over your relationship ending, they probably weren't really your friends to start with. Your friend circle is going to shrink a little, but that's OK. It's best to know who is there for you now. And while you're leaning on your friends, don't forget you can lean on your family. I know when you're 15 it can be hard to relate to your parents, but I promise you they care about you.

If you want to chill with Ben & Jerry for a while, that's cool

Puns completely intended. But, go ahead and eat the ice cream (there's no reason not to). You deserve it.

Do not forget your worth

You are beautiful and smart and kind. You deserve the best. Live your best life, my dear.

I know I don't have all the answers, but I hope this helps. I am always here for you.

I love you,

Your big sister

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