Breakups suck but after two years, I decided to meet up with an ex because I think we both needed closure. Here are nine things I noticed throughout the night.

1. They ask about your current partner.

And pretend like they haven't known for months who they are from all the social media stuff (hint at No. 3 on this list).

My ex asked me and I immediately answered yes. Out of politeness, I asked him the same thing as well. It felt good. Even if it's serious or not, you're compelled to tell them there's another person out there more deserving of you. It'll give them closure that someone is treating you well.

2. They ask about family.

This one hurts. It reminds you how deeply invested you both were to this relationship. You both recall little details about family members and small intimate moments you shared around them.

The ex was able to recall the names of my cousins after being apart for two years. I was not really close with them and he met them twice. I can't name a single cousin from his life so I felt really bad from this point forward into our meetup.

3. They unveil small details that prove they’ve stalked you for some time.

Oh man, the look on his face when he spoke way too much about the new things in my life. And I called him out on it.

At the same time, you have to admit that you have done the same. It's fine to be curious sometimes. However, understand each other's boundaries and be explicit about yours.

4. They mention their new job/occupation.

Change is always good and reaching a milestone like a new job or a promotion will always be appreciated. Growth is what that is and during the meetup, it felt really nice to know he was making money for himself. As for me, I was doing the same thing as usual, but I said it with a genuine smile.

5. They apologize for some reason.

Somebody apologizes for something and everything. There were probably a lot of things left unsaid and things are easy to forgive and forget after some period of time. Even I openly apologized for the way I reacted in certain situations.

6. The conversation turns into a roast session.

I was a little conflicted with meeting my ex because I knew I was still mad at them for the things they did.

I took every opportunity to jab at their ego and he did the same. It was strange that we both knew what we were doing to each other but neither one bailed.

7. They say something like “We were kids. We were dumb back then.”

Accept that statement. I don't care if you truly believe you were both adults the whole time. You get smarter as you go along.

If you're still into them, fine, take that chance to start a new thing. The only advice I can give is to remember the red flags and what happened when you were together. Ask yourself: "Have I truly forgiven their past self or is this worth another try, another heartbreak? Have I grown enough from my insecurities from this relationship to be OK this time?"

8. They actually talk about the thing that broke you two up.

This was confusing. We both made it out of the restaurant and sat in the car for a bit. He acknowledged what broke us up and apologized for it, and man, I was not expecting that to come up.

It honestly made me tear up as my emotions of that dumb heartbreaking moment came flooding in.

9. They'll make you despise them all over again.

Getting to sleep was really upsetting. It felt like I was reliving those nights when I blamed myself for our breakup when it wasn't.

Despite whatever happened between you and an ex, you can't dismiss the strong feelings you felt toward them and the reasons those feelings vanished. In my case, he made me believe our breakup was only on me when it was both of us. He taught me to beat myself up emotionally and that my friends taught me to despise him and eventually move on with my life.

Meeting up with was an experience I learned to appreciate in the long-run about how people experience growth and gain the confidence to change things around them. We are both in better places in our lives. However, think twice about what an ex meetup will mean to you before you dive into it. Choose to be there for your own benefit and growth.

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