This one is for the men who have so much potential but end up doing or saying something stupid on a first date.The truth is, women take first their impressions of a man very seriously. On a first date, there isn't very much room for error on the man's part. So, if you're looking to charm the hell out of a sista on the first date, look no further.
Here are my verified tips on how to take a woman on a successful first date.
1. Personal hygiene!
Sounds redundant to most, but this is for the few that really don't know. Shower, brush your teeth and fix your hair before stepping out on a date. And please remember that lotion and deodorant are your friends. Back when I was in college, I went out with this guy and immediately smelled his B.O. He had a huge sweat stains on the front and back of his shirt. Part way through the date pulled me into a hug and all I can remember are his sweat beads touching my forehead. I ended the date early and never responded to another text.
2. A gift.
A gift is not required, but going the extra mile earns you points. If you already know a few details about homegirl, make sure the gift is creative and personalized. While a single rose is sweet, it is also very old school. For example, if you met her in Barnes and Noble, maybe bring her a copy of your favorite book. If you were set up by a mutual friend, find out what her favorite candy is and surprise her with that. When done right, corny is very cute.
3. Don't take her anywhere noisy.
The whole point of a date is to be able to talk to each other and get to know if the two of you have basic things in common. That being said, movies and concerts are not good first date locations. Save those for a couple months in. What is a good first date, you ask? Well, anything that involves food or drinks is always a winner. You could also try going to the park or for a hike.
4. Don't make her meet you there.
If you have a car, pick her up. Let her know when you are on your way and how close you are. When you get there, actually walk up to her front door. Don't text her from the car. While she is in your car, be respectful. Don't blast music or speed. There is no reason as to why you should feel that blowing out her eardrums or swerving in and out of traffic will make her think you're cool. And tone it all the way down on the road rage. Those things are a MAJOR turn off! Women like to feel safe in your presence, if you didn't know.
*Pro-Tip: Give her the aux cord.
5. Be a gentleman.
Open doors and pull out seats! And at the end of the date, take her home. Do not ask her to come back to your place, and don't put her in a taxi or Uber if you have the means to drop her off. If y'all are walking down a sidewalk, make sure she is in the inside and if y'all are crossing the street, do it TOGETHER and make sure she is not on the side with the cars.
Pro-Tip: Lend her your arm as y'all are walking up stairs or through crowds.
6. Be a good conversationalist.
Stay away from politics or religion on a first date, unless one of those are a deal breaker for you. If one of these does get brought up, be respectful of her point of views and don't belittle her beliefs. Keep the conversation polite.
Some women can be shy (and a bit intimidated) on a first date, so take charge of the conversation if it isn't flowing easily. Ask her about herself and LISTEN to her response before talking about yourself. No more than 50% of the conversation should be about you. Also, stay away from bragging or putting down others.
Pro-Tip: Do not ask sis about sex! On a first date, her sex life, what she likes or doesn't like or how "freaky" she is, is none of your DAMN business. Asking about past relationships is okay, but keep the conversation positive. Also don't EVER bad-mouth your ex or the mother of your children. If she asks why the two of you broke up, be truthful, but find a way to answer that doesn't make you seem like a complete troll.
7. Stay off of your phone.
If you're at a restaurant, push your phone and keys to the side and let them stay there. If you're somewhere else, keep them in your pocket. Dates are all about being PRESENT AND ATTENTIVE. If you don't like giving women your undivided attention or don't think you can't manage it for two whole hours, don't even attempt to date in the first place. No texting, no answering phone calls, and no social media!
8. Etiquette, etiquette, etiquette!
Sis is 100% watching for the things you are doing and aren't doing right. So remember your basic home training. Don't talk with your mouth full. Wash your hands before you eat. Pull your pants up. Tip the waiter the correct amount....etc. Personally, I've known a man that always just left $5 no matter what the bill was. $5 on a $45 tab is only 11%. Not only am I going to think you are hella rude, but I'm also going to wonder if you know basic math.
9. Be polite!
Not just to her, but to everyone around. Don't get snappy with waiters and don't be rude others around you. Women peep how you treat other people because we are taught that this is how you will treat us behind closed doors.
10. Don't be cheap.
You have the option of taking her someone casual vs. somewhere fancy. Either way, sis should have a good time and not walk away from the date knowing you're on a tight budget.
If you're taking her out to eat, let her know that she is free to order whatever she wants. For women, going out to eat with a man for the first time can sometimes be awkward. We may be hesitant on what to order because we don't know your budget. We don't want to leave the date "starving like Marvin," but we also don't want to come off like a food digger, either.
Pro-tip: If you're too broke to take a woman out on a date and pay for it, you're too broke to be in the dating game.
11. Complement her!
Stick to three complements throughout the date. ONE on how she looks, ONE on her personality and ONE on her interests.
"You look really nice. I like your hair." "..a degree in psychology? Intelligence like that is hard to find." "You still listen to old school rap and neo-soul. I really like your taste in music.
12. Keep your hands to yourself.
Do not get grabby! A hug at the beginning and end of the date is fine, It is also okay (and proper etiquette) to lend her your arm if your going up a flight of stairs (especially if she is in heels) or somewhere with a large crowd.
Pro Tip: Don't make perv-y or awkward comments about how she looks or her body.
13. Drop her home.
At the end of the date, do not ask if she wants to go back to your place or if she wants to come with you to meet up with friends. Take her home, walk her to her door, and make sure to mention that you had a good time and thank her for taking you up on the offer. (She's going to think you are mad sweet, I promise.)
Pro Tip: Only kiss her if she leans in first.
You can do all of this and still feel at the end of the date that this woman is not the right person for YOU and that is perfectly fine, but all of these things still apply. Reach out to her the next day, whether by text or phone call and let her know that you had a good time. If you really did have a good time, let her know that you would like to go out with her again sometime. If you didn't have a good time, just thank her for going out with you and simply leave it at that.