Not Only Did The Intimidating Bouncer Let Me Into My College Bar, He Let Me Into His Heart

Not Only Did The Intimidating Bouncer Let Me Into My College Bar, He Let Me Into His Heart

But now he's just a 6' Costco teddy bear that can make a killer dinner.

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Let me just tell you, the night we met, the last thing I was expecting was to meet someone who would eventually buy a plane ticket to come to visit me, states away. Normally girls my age are scared of the big guy working the front. But for some reason, he was not scary—he was more welcoming if anything.

I had just woken up from a four hour, midday, nap and was DREADING the sound of my alarm clock telling me it was time to put on '80s aspen themed clothing. Kid-you-not, I ran out the door with barely any makeup on, wet hair, and one shot of Svedka for a fraternity date party. Definitely wouldn't say I was looking to meet someone, especially a 290-pound bouncer (250 at the time, he'd get mad if I didn't clarify that he was "skinny" back then).

Believe it or not, I was eyeing him for a while. I was trying to figure him out. He did not look like a typical bouncer, he seemed innocent and sweet. He also looked very uninterested and bored, so I wanted to lighten up his mood. I could tell he was young, only a little older than me. The all-black outfit made him appear very fit and young. I had to know more.

I approached him by saying "Hey are you on Tinder because I think I swiped left?" (Definitely not your go-to girl for pick-up lines.) I had just made a Tinder for experimental purposes and had not to clue which way was "hot" and which way was "not," so I just had to take an educated guess.

Luckily rather than him kicking me out of the event, he thought it was funny and said: "I did too."

Thanks for not completely blowing me off after that one. I guess the pickup line did the magic because you asked for my number.

Texting you was so natural and normal. I felt like I could share my entire life with you and you would listen. It was almost scary how comfortable I felt. Our conversations flowed beautifully for about a week and then you decided to make the bold move and ask me on a date.

I have never been so nervous for a date in my life. My stomach was in knots the whole time leading up to dinner. I was biting my thumbs trying not to text you canceling. And my friends didn't make it much better.

"Are you seriously going on a date with the bouncer!"

"How old is he, 40?"

I talked on the phone to my roommate the whole walk to the restaurant until I saw him waiting outside to greet me. He was intimidating for sure, mainly because of his size, but also the fact I was literally going out with someone who could potentially get me arrested.

It wasn't until we were ordering and you ordered a wrap that I realized I was really into you. Because what big boy orders a wrap for dinner besides one that's nervous on a first date? Just as our texting went, our conversations at dinner never died, and it was never awkwardly silent... at least as far as I can remember.

After that night we already had plans for a second date and the rest was history.

The hardest part about being "the girl the bouncer is dating" is getting texts every Thursday night from people I'm barely friends with saying, "Hey can your boyfriend let us into the bar?"

It was the worst when I was all the way in New Jersey, missing him, while people back at school were constantly using me to get to him. I even once had a friend of mine tell me she wanted to "take him home." Or always feeling obligated to go out nights he's working just to see him for five minutes. So it definitely isn't easy at times but that never scared me away or stopped me from pursuing him.

To me, he is so much more than the bouncer at the bar.

You are a five-star cook, world's deadliest driver and you "have the motor of a skinny little guy on the field." You have a special superpower that instantly makes me smile when I'm crying or laugh when I'm angry. Among all your talents my favorite is that you can embaress me under absolutly ANY circumstance. That, my love, is impressive.

We get through exam packed weeks, long work shifts, and average meals becuase we know we will have one another to look forward to at the end. We push each other to be the best we can be and we always encourage each other to do the absolute most.


I look up to you (literally!) and will forever be greatful for meeting you when least expected because I have gained not only a role model, but my best friend.

While dating a bouncer can get frustrating, it's what brought me to him and for that, I am so thankful.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Asked 25 Girls What They Would Do If They Got Pregnant In College

Whatever you decided, I applaud you.
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Pregnancy and college just seriously do not mix together. There are only a few people that can financially and emotionally afford to bring a human into this world at such a young age. And for that, I applaud them.

I wanted to get some more understanding on what women in college would do if they were culture-shocked with a positive pregnancy test, and here is what I found:

1. Supportive fam squad - Age 20

"I would keep the baby and figure out how to raise it on my own. I have a very supportive family so I know that they would have my back in the end."

You're one of the lucky ones, baby girl. Not too many people are blessed with family members that are willing to support their child's/sister's/ brother's every move. We can see this is many of the other responses (it's quite sad actually):

Age 19: "I actually had a bit of a scare this month so I already thought this through... I would drop out of school and get a job. Hopefully, continue with some night classes at a community college but I would need to get a job. My parents already told me years ago that they would cut me off if I got pregnant. I would need to get my own place too. I would seek out different services (like Good Counsel Homes). Once I had the baby, I would put it up for adoption in hopes of giving the child a better future."

Age 20: "I would handle it with my parents and see what they said about what I should do. I would talk to my boyfriend and see how he felt after everything is talked about I would see if we should put the kid up for adoption. I wouldn't want to ruin the kid's future and life if I wasn't ready for a baby. Although it's bad and wrong to abort, I would have to do what's best."

2. Abortion — no questions asked - Age 20

“I would get an abortion because I know that I cannot financially or emotionally take care of a child at this age. I want to continue my education and get a well-paying job, have a social life, and take care of myself. I cannot do that while pregnant."

Because the most mature thing is to admit when you aren't ready. I applaud you for that Miss. Anonymous — you are a different breed of woman. Thank you. Here are some other ladies that agree with her:

Age 20 - “Having a child is a blessing because some girls can't. But therefore I'd have to have an abortion due to the fact that I wouldn't be able to handle that also because I'm not ready to be a mother."

Keepin' it short and simple:

From two 20-year-olds- "Get an abortion," and "Abortion."

Age 19 - "Plan B/Abortion."

Age 18 - “I wouldn't have the baby, and wouldn't lose my education."

Age 21 - “Probably get an abortion because I'm just starting my life."


3. Babies after marriage ONLY - Age 22

“My boyfriend is terrified of getting pregnant out of wedlock, it's not that we're uncommitted it's just he has a big fear not being able to afford a child. I told myself and my girlfriends if it ever were to happen I would get an abortion and never tell him to protect him from making that hard decision. I'm not proud of it, but I do believe it is the most mature thing to do for us."

Religion is definitely a factor when having a baby. I agree with the fact that babies should only come after you've been married —sometimes it's a fear that having a child when you're not ready can cause the relationship to crumble.

4. My boyfriend's decision matters too - Age 20

“Cry, but come up with a plan and talk it out with my boyfriend."

And YASS girl, because it's his child too! I applaud your willingness to talk it out with your S.O. You're definitely not the only one! Check these responses out:

“Keep the baby! My partner and I have discussed what we would do if it were to happen and both agree to keep the child."

5. It would depend on who I'm dating - Age 23

“It would depend on the relationship I'm in. If it's strong, I'd do my best to give the baby a great life. If I wasn't in a relationship at all, I'd really have to consider my options, abortion, adoption, etc."

Say no more, girlfriend, I'm 100% with you on this, and look, some other girls are too!

Age 21 - “I would keep it if it's with my current boyfriend. I would try my best to manage school and a baby!"

6. Keep it, duh - Age 20

“Probably cry, first. Then, tell my mom and ask for her advice. I would likely keep the child. I might want to halt my relationship with the baby's father (assuming he's my boyfriend) so we could be co-parents and not risk something breaking us up."

A different approach, but definitely not a bad one. Here are some ladies that agree with you, and would 100% keep it for themselves.

Age 23 - “I'd keep it. I'd be happy. I always wanted to be a mom and being so close to graduation, it actually would be a really great thing."

From three 18-year-olds - “Have the baby and go to school concurrently.“

“Most likely keep it. Continue degree from home at a local community college."

“I would have the baby, but would probably take off two years or so to work and prepare."

From a few 20-year-olds - “Have the baby," and "I would keep it."

“Continue working hard in school and never give up no matter how hard it may be."

"I would move back home and have the baby. "

7. Adoption would be an option - Age 20

“I would try to stay in school as long as I could and then take some time off when it got closer to the pregnancy, depending on what time of year it was. I would not get an abortion, I would still have the baby but I am not sure if I would keep it or give it up for adoption. It would probably depend on whether or not I was in a relationship with the father of the child."

Give the baby the best life possible, even if that might be the best life isn't with me.

From two 19-year-olds: “Abortion or adoption," and “Keep the baby and either raise it with help from family or give it up for adoption."

All in all, everyone's views are different. I hope that if you are ever in this position you choose what's not only best for you mentally and physically, your partner, and most importantly for the human you will (or will not) bring into this world.

And, always, always, ALWAYS...

practice safe sex.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Dating A Girl With Anxiety Is An Emotional Investment That's More Than Worth Your Time

Be honest and trustworthy, it will mean the world to her.

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As someone with anxiety it is safe to say that trusting someone, much less your significant other, is not the easiest of tasks. Regardless of how much I want to trust someone it is still difficult. Someone with anxiety needs reassurance, on the regular, that you still like them. They will constantly apologize for situations that were not their fault; do not let them blame themselves.

When dating a girl with anxiety, she will support you and be there for you, but will have trouble expressing or communicating to you how much you actually mean to her. Just remember she appreciates you, and she is trying.

Often times, dating a girl with anxiety also comes with a generous helping of the depression that usually tags along. Keep this in mind. If you are out somewhere with her and she stops talking, just know she does want to be there. She will need days away from you, although she may have a fear of being alone at times. She will also need days with you.

There will be nights where she does not sleep; there will be days where that is all she does. Some days she will do absolutely nothing, and others she will try to accomplish the impossible. Despite what she ends up doing for the day, she will never feel as though she has conquered enough. These maybe things she has not told you or you have yet to figured out, but that's why I'm here to tell you.

She tries relentlessly to trust you, although her dating history has been a toxic mess. She tends to keep to herself, but she also needs people to understand her.

Occasionally she will have good days. Occasionally she will have days where she has horrible anxiety attacks. Please be there for her during both. She does want you there, despite what it may seem. She cares about you, she just is not the best at expressing it.

Tell her how you feel about the relationship. Tell her how you feel about her. If you think she is beautiful, tell her. If you want to spend time with her, please tell her. Make the changes so that you are comfortable, but so her feelings are also validated. She will overthink and assume the worst; let her know that everything's going to be ok.

She cares and appreciates you. She will always have your back and support you whenever necessary. Remember this during her worst days.

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