If I had a dime for every time someone felt awkward talking about sexuality, I would be a millionaire.
If I had a dime for every person who tried to avoid talking about body size around me, I would be a billionaire.
Sex and body weight are two topics that often trigger awkward emotions.
And that sucks. I'm not going to call it, "silly" or "dumb," because it's what society has taught us to believe. Shame has been tied to sexuality and body image for a historical hot minute.
Sexuality & plus size bodies ≠ shame
I am proud to be a sexual woman. I thankful that I have always had access to the resources and education to practice safe sex. Most importantly, I was lucky to be raised in a community that did not shame people for their sexuality.
I can't say the same about my body. People have always been uncomfortable with my acceptance of my figure.
1. "But wait... If you love your body, are you not trying to lose weight?"
First of all, it's no one's business what I'm doing with my body. Second, of course, I want to be healthy. I'm working toward that. I'm not going to hate myself in the meantime.
2. "How do fat people have sex?"
Umm. The same way other people do. Everyone expresses their sexuality differently and that's not dependent on body size.
3. "I bet you can't do [insert sex position that requires lots of flexibility and balance]."
You shouldn't assume that all curvy folks aren't athletic and flexible. I've met plenty of people who are incredibly athletic and are conventionally plus size. However, if I can't do XYZ, it doesn't mean that I can't do ZYX.
4. "Will anyone want to have sex with a woman who looks you?"
Yes, they do. Pinky swear.
5. "Are you worried that you're going to hurt your partner?"
Because of my body weight? No, I'm not. In general, of course, I am. Sex is always an emotional time and it's important to have an open line of communication with my partners.
The quality of your sex is not related to body size. It is related to accepting your body, learning about safe sex and open communication.
You go, girl! Get that amazing sex!