Being in a relationship for a year and a half has taught me so much about myself, my S.O., and how to deal with people in general. We all do it; we all raise our voice and fight, whether it's to defend yourself or just to straight-up tell them what the heck is wrong.
We hate it, we hate the drama (well, some of us do), and most importantly, at least one of us is scared to death to be broken up with. The other is scared to death to hurt them or see yourself out of the relationship.
But I'm here to help. Here's how to fight fairly and get the most out of an argument.
Listen up, I'm not the girl who's going to tell you to break up with them. I'm telling you how to fix it... really, REALLY, fix it.
Be completely able to see the other side. Even if you think it's dead wrong, seriously put yourself in their shoes and see what you would do differently before you freak out.
Understand what you could've done to prevent it and reiterate that to your partner. You have different minds, so do not expect them to think the same thing.
Stay completely calm. You love them right? So, don't hurt them. Don't bring up things that will hurt them, and if you're serious about what you're saying, say it calmly. The more you yell, the more it will hurt.
Leave the PAST in the MF PAST. You cannot live in the past your entire relationship. People change, things change.
You're not the same person you were a year ago. You are not the same person you were a month ago. You are not the same person you were a day ago. You are not even the same person you were an hour ago.
Leave the past in the past, I cannot say it enough. Fight about the present and speak about what is happening in the NOW.
DO NOT BRING UP BREAKING UP, unless you are completely and utterly serious. Just don't. Seriously. I'm warning you, no matter how large the fight is, breathe. Is this really what you want?
Have evidence lined up! Deadass, if you're seriously right, make your argument completely right. Call them out, but not until you are serious it happened, or that you have a legit reason to be angry.
If he cheated, know who with, when, where you were, where they were and most importantly, TRUST WHO IS TELLING YOU.
If you are assuming, don't. Odds are he loves you, and he wouldn't do it. Seriously, I hope you're wrong, with everything in me.
Apologize, again, if you're wrong and if you end up assuming out of anger. We all do it, don't stress. Be strong enough and be mature enough to apologize and admit that you are wrong.
You'll love yourself more, but most importantly, they will love you more.
Be able to move on. When the fight is over, be over it. If you're not, resolve the crap out of it until you get your justification. Close the chapter and get out your pen to write a new one.
If it's not meant to be, let it be. If you can't move on, maybe it's time to throw the person out. Maybe it can't be fixed, and maybe this is where you part.
It's okay to be sad, and it's okay to be angry.
Everything happens for a reason. Let that reason be to help you grow.