It wasn't right.
And as much as it pains me to come to this realization, it's also liberating.
I fell in love with you. But I fell in love with the wrong person.
I'm sorry for trying to change you. I'm sorry for trying to reconstruct who you are as a person. But, because I now see these red flags and understand the emotional exhaustion we caused each other, I know now it can't work. I had too much hope in the potential — the what could have been. The impossible. I envisioned the ideal, picturesque relationship with you. I thought that if you changed the things I wanted you to change, everything would be fine. I couldn't force you to do that, though. I couldn't keep forcing anything.
There are so many beautiful things about you I will cherish forever.
I see so much good in you that a lot of people couldn't. Our relationship was special and strong in certain ways. You were the first person I ever really fell for. And for that, I will hold a place in my heart for you that will never, ever leave, no matter who comes into my life.
You are irreplaceable.
That being said, it's important to also note where things went wrong. Where things just couldn't be fixed. Where tireless effort just wasn't worth it anymore.
Love isn't supposed to be easy, but it also shouldn't be nearly as difficult as we made it out to be. I'm sorry we couldn't love each other. Maybe in another time or another life, it will be different. But it won't work now.
To the boy I fell in love with, I loved you, but I can't be with you.
I want people to understand it is VERY possible to fall in love with the wrong person. Red flags can pervade, but you will push them under the table because you don't want them to be true. I want people to realize you can still find so much good in a person and fall for a person for so many different reasons, but they STILL aren't right for you. All of this is real and valid and NEEDS to get addressed. If not, you will find yourself in an endless, toxic cycle of hurt and heartache.
Below, I've attached an article written by Kristine Fellizar entitled "20-Easy-To-Miss Signs You're In Love With The Wrong Person." I would make a list myself, but I feel like her list explicates this topic well, and I related to many of the ideas embedded in her piece.
Don't look at your past relationships as a mistake. Learn and grow from one another. Find that person that shouldn't have to change anything for you. You deserve a love that is wholesome and worth it.
You can be happy. Love someone for them. No more molding. No more wishful thinking. Just loving.
Easy, simple loving.