Find Someone Who Does These 9 Things In Your Relationship Or Move On

Find Someone Who Does These 9 Things In Your Relationship Or Move On

Life is too short to waste your time on individuals not worthy of it.

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I'm not gonna lie, I've had my fair share of first dates, relationships, breakups, and even the occasional breakdown. (Happens to the best of us, right?) Well, at this point, I finally decided that I am fed up with guys constantly wasting my time. I have compiled a running list of what I consider "musts" for a partner of mine, and they are all things I would do for my S.O. in return.

Life's too short to keep wasting time, and if you aren't dating to marry, what are you doing?

1. Holds the door, and your hand

I think it's important to find someone who is willing to take the extra step to open a door, as old-fashioned as that sounds. I'm always super impressed when a date will open his car door for me too. It's not that hard. I'm all for being an "independent woman," but I like a little effort every once in a while.

As for the hand-holding thing, it may not be everyone's thing, but if one person likes it, it's the partner's responsibility to compromise every now and then, which leads me to number two.

2. Compromises

Everyone is different. That's what makes us so interesting. However, this means that we're all interested in different things. When you're with someone, it is so important to make an effort to do things that they like and for them to do the same for you.

3. Is there for you on your best days, and your worst ones

Whether you need a personal cheerleader or a shoulder to cry on, your partner should be that person for you, and if they aren't, get away from all that.

4. Compliments you and helps you feel like your best self

Of course, no girl needs a man. However, it's really nice to hear a nice comment every now and then. If I'm gonna spend multiple hours on my appearance, I want you to acknowledge it a little bit. It's not about validation, it's about appreciation.

5. Supports you in what you do

Whether it's writing articles on Odyssey, performing in a dance recital, or even just taking a test, find yourself someone who will support you through the minor and major events in your life. It means the world to have a cheerleader in the crowd just for you, other than Mom, of course.

6. Loves you for you, regardless of the time of day

I never want to be with someone who makes me afraid to go in public with my natural hair, makeup on, or a visible zit. I've talked to guys in the past that would have me on edge, making sure that every piece of hair was curled perfect but never with any lipstick on. I'm the type of person who loves a good curl as much as a cute ponytail-scrunchie combo, and I love my red lipstick as much as I love a good pink sparkly gloss. Luckily, I have reached a point in my life where I couldn't care less if the person I'm with doesn't like any hair color other than bleach blonde, and I couldn't be happier. I'm doing me for me, and I know someday I will find someone who will appreciate, respect, and love that.

7. Checks up on you

This is so important. I repeat. So important. Somedays, it's hard to just come out and admit that things just aren't OK. Find someone who will take the initiative to truly care about how you're doing, even if it's just a "Do you need anything from the store?" or a "Wanna go for a drive?" text.

8. Loves you. (And only you!)

This is a big one! Once you lock things down and commit to someone, commit to just them. If you think about anyone else when you're with your significant other, you might as well not even be with them. Loyalty and honesty are key for a good relationship and bond.

9. Communicates

This is probably the most important one to me. Communication is the foundation for a good environment, whether it be in a relationship, friendship, at a job, or even in a college class. More importantly — try to communicate in person. Texting how you feel never shows how you feel.

I could keep going, but these ones truly are key. These are all things I would do for someone I love, and I expect nothing less in return. I'm tired of wasting my time, and others should be too. Find someone who matches your energy instead of bringing it down.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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