I'm not gonna lie, I've had my fair share of first dates, relationships, breakups, and even the occasional breakdown. (Happens to the best of us, right?) Well, at this point, I finally decided that I am fed up with guys constantly wasting my time. I have compiled a running list of what I consider "musts" for a partner of mine, and they are all things I would do for my S.O. in return.
Life's too short to keep wasting time, and if you aren't dating to marry, what are you doing?
1. Holds the door, and your hand
I think it's important to find someone who is willing to take the extra step to open a door, as old-fashioned as that sounds. I'm always super impressed when a date will open his car door for me too. It's not that hard. I'm all for being an "independent woman," but I like a little effort every once in a while.
As for the hand-holding thing, it may not be everyone's thing, but if one person likes it, it's the partner's responsibility to compromise every now and then, which leads me to number two.
Everyone is different. That's what makes us so interesting. However, this means that we're all interested in different things. When you're with someone, it is so important to make an effort to do things that they like and for them to do the same for you.
3. Is there for you on your best days, and your worst ones
Whether you need a personal cheerleader or a shoulder to cry on, your partner should be that person for you, and if they aren't, get away from all that.
4. Compliments you and helps you feel like your best self
Of course, no girl needs a man. However, it's really nice to hear a nice comment every now and then. If I'm gonna spend multiple hours on my appearance, I want you to acknowledge it a little bit. It's not about validation, it's about appreciation.
5. Supports you in what you do
Whether it's writing articles on Odyssey, performing in a dance recital, or even just taking a test, find yourself someone who will support you through the minor and major events in your life. It means the world to have a cheerleader in the crowd just for you, other than Mom, of course.
6. Loves you for you, regardless of the time of day
I never want to be with someone who makes me afraid to go in public with my natural hair, makeup on, or a visible zit. I've talked to guys in the past that would have me on edge, making sure that every piece of hair was curled perfect but never with any lipstick on. I'm the type of person who loves a good curl as much as a cute ponytail-scrunchie combo, and I love my red lipstick as much as I love a good pink sparkly gloss. Luckily, I have reached a point in my life where I couldn't care less if the person I'm with doesn't like any hair color other than bleach blonde, and I couldn't be happier. I'm doing me for me, and I know someday I will find someone who will appreciate, respect, and love that.
7. Checks up on you
This is so important. I repeat. So important. Somedays, it's hard to just come out and admit that things just aren't OK. Find someone who will take the initiative to truly care about how you're doing, even if it's just a "Do you need anything from the store?" or a "Wanna go for a drive?" text.
8. Loves you. (And only you!)
This is a big one! Once you lock things down and commit to someone, commit to just them. If you think about anyone else when you're with your significant other, you might as well not even be with them. Loyalty and honesty are key for a good relationship and bond.
This is probably the most important one to me. Communication is the foundation for a good environment, whether it be in a relationship, friendship, at a job, or even in a college class. More importantly — try to communicate in person. Texting how you feel never shows how you feel.
I could keep going, but these ones truly are key. These are all things I would do for someone I love, and I expect nothing less in return. I'm tired of wasting my time, and others should be too. Find someone who matches your energy instead of bringing it down.