Finding A Husband In College

Finding A Husband In College

I think, in order to find a husband while in college, he has to have passed that stage where he thinks a girl could just be another fun night.
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Every girl has the same idea in her head. You see a cute guy from across the room, you make eye contact, and he's already planning in his head the way he's going to propose to you, just like you're already planning the wedding in your head. He’ll come up to you, and it's just like a scene from a Nicholas Sparks movie. You talk, he makes you laugh, you have everything in common. He gets your number and a few days later he asks you out on a real date.

He shows up with flowers, and takes you somewhere nice, and treats you like a princess for the night. You find out that he isn’t just good looks, but he actually has a personality. You date for a year or two, and one special day he asks you to marry him. You get to spend the rest of your life with the man of your dreams.

My question is, how is this supposed to happen when, as a college girl, the only guys you meet are either on Tinder (don't lie; we all have one), or in a frat house while he's too busy playing beer pong to even notice you? What happened to asking a girl on a real date, to an actual restaurant to have real conversations so that at the end night you’re suffering from a case of butterflies in the stomach?

This new idea guys have of a date, consisting of watching Netflix which -- let’s be honest -- never really ends in watching Netflix, is disturbing. I want to go on a date where I change outfits 50 times and destroy my closet in the process, use half a can of hair spray, and at the end of the night he walks me to the door and awkwardly kisses me goodnight without expecting an invite inside. I’ve come to the conclusion that finding a husband will not result in swiping right, so that leads to my main point -- how am I supposed to find a husband while in college?

I think, in order to find a husband while in college, he has to have passed that stage where he thinks a girl could just be another fun night, and realize that we are actual people with actual feelings (which some guys have a really hard time with). Finding a guy like that is like finding a needle in a hay stack. Sure, there are those lucky couples who just find their person and never have to worry about being alone for the rest of their life, and good for them, but the majority of us aren't getting any younger.

My advice would be to stop looking in the frat houses, and delete the Tinder app (yes, you can do it) and get out there! Go join a club and get involved; that's where you'll meet the nice guys who don’t count shot gunning a beer as a talent. We have to stop hiding behind keyboards and computer screens, and remember how to have actual conversations. We are partly to blame for guys having no chivalry, nowadays. It is our job to expect flowers and romantic dates. So, ladies, let's all agree to stop settling for Netflix, and find a guy worth marrying. Trust me, he’s out there.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Deserve The World, Until I Find Someone Who Gives It To Me, I'm Focusing On Myself

The right person is going to come when you're ready

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I have been told by so many people in my life that unless you take time to yourself, you won't find any lasting relationships. Seems simple enough. Just focus on doing me, and then I'll find a good guy. I have tried, and lately, I've been getting the shit end of the stick when it comes to guys.

I've been crying my eyes out over guys who ghost me like I don't matter and never did, and the thought that they saw me as so easily replaceable breaks my heart. I've gone to such a dark place of negativity, and struggle to keep a genuine smile on my face anymore. I guess I thought I took time for myself, but I don't think I took quite enough in recent months.

I wanted to get over someone, so I found a guy, and when he hurt my feelings, I found someone else to make me feel better. Ultimately, the most recent guy was someone I expected to break that chain and actually prove himself to be someone who was genuine and wanted to get to know me. He played the part really well but failed, and I think it's because an ex came back into the picture, so ditching me was all too easy. Where did honesty go? When did a lack of words suffice? While it was easy for them to treat me like this and move on, I suffered greatly on the other side. I lost motivation to care about my mental well-being, and treated myself, but went too far, and spent way too much. Material objects like clothes make me feel good, but the rush doesn't last forever. I needed to check myself. No one else knows what I'm truly feeling. Friends can only say so much.

I'm happy one day and upset the next. I find it so hard to watch people who can find relationships so easily, while I struggle. I know I deserve the world, as we all do, and I have been struggling to understand why I can't seem to find anyone who wants me as I want them. I guess the answer to that is that I need to want myself, and be happy in my skin again, in order for that someone to make his presence known in my life. Being lost in the world of social media has warped what is the truth and what isn't, and I've found I can't trust anything I see on there anymore.

I need to take care of myself again, and once I do, I'll really be ready to meet someone. I will stop seeking a guy when I should really be seeking myself and doing things for my benefit only. I don't even know what I love to do anymore, and that's scary. I want a lasting relationship but I know I won't find one in the state I'm in. I want all of you who haven't been putting yourselves first for a while to start doing so. Please stick up for what you want, and don't let stupid boys trying to be men to hurt you the way they have been. You're amazing, and you will find someone. I find it hard to believe what I'm writing at the moment, but I know a year from now I will be in such a different place, and you will too. The words I'm saying hold truth, whether you or I could really believe them right now.

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I Plan On Having A No Kids Wedding So Please Leave Yours At Home With A Babysitter

Leave the tots at home while I’m tying the knot.

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Let's cut to the chase here. I don't want kids at my wedding. Kids and babies at a wedding, though can be super cute all dressed up in suits, dresses or even costumes is downright adorable. I get it, I really do, I mean I would be lying if I didn't admit that my wedding Pinterest board didn't have a few kids in there. Though, when I actually picture my big day, I don't see how having a bunch of unpredictable kids running around would seem appealing.

Now before you go all “oh my kids are so well behaved they wouldn't be so quiet." I don't know about you, but for all the weddings I have been to, the kids always end up crying, complaining or causing some kind of unnecessary stress. The day is already going to be filled with little moments that could potentially go wrong and adding kids to that list just doesn't seem very appealing.

Another note to make is how much of a buzz kill kids are. My fiancé and I like to have a good time, so we will absolutely be having alcohol during our festivities and will be expecting our guests to partake in having a few glasses of something. Kids mean a good chunk of people aren't going to be able to drink, and as silly as that sounds, it's a mood killer.

We also plan on having the festivities go on late into the night. Aka after party or bar crawl. Now unless you are over the age of bar crawls or wedding after parties, we fully expect you to join in. When you bring kids into the mix, it stops you from going to the after party.

If you haven't gotten the idea of the atmosphere of the wedding we are trying to curate, to be more direct, we are having an adult theme. Since my fiancé and I are getting married “young" in the eyes of most people, we kind of what to keep it that vibe.

When I say young, I don't mean, paw patrol, we mean we're in our twenties. The music will most likely be loud, probably a little mouthy in the lyrics. I personally don't want to deal with your complaints about your kids feeling uncomfortable.

On maybe a more understanding note, when you bring kids to the wedding, it's just another cost to add to the list of things. While you may not think it's such a big deal, but a lot of vendors and venues count kids when it comes to their people limit.

We are already keeping our list below 100 people, having to remove certain guests from our list to accommodate for your kids isn't fair for us. So say, we were to choose your kids over our more personal guests, a lot of vendors require a selection for children foods, seating, drinks, etc. It's just an extra thing that we'd be adding to our mile-long list of things we already have to worry about.

So please, if you are invited to a wedding that is kid-free, it's not that the brides and grooms have an issue with your kids, it's a matter of being respectful and understanding to their wishes.

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