Ever left a function early per his request?
Ever missed a practice, or a meeting, because you just had to be there for his intramural basketball game?
Ever had to drive to his place in the middle of the night because he was tired but still wanted to see you?
Did you have to drive yourself home the next morning?
Did you take time out of your hectic day to buy or make his favorite foods whenever he was feeling under the weather?
If you answered yes to all of the above, let me ask one more question: Has he ever done these things for you?
And if the answer is no, or “maybe once or twice,” then you may need this wake-up call.
You know how it goes in the beginning–the guy chases the girl. You see it in movies, you read it in books; sometimes he’s successful, sometimes the girl is just way out of his league. But when he does get the girl, you may notice the change in his effort. He gets too confident, too comfortable. Meanwhile, the girl is putting her all into it, despite her cautious heart, and begins to fall in love. Little does she know that he’s taking her love for granted. This storyline plays out in real life more often than not, and no, there’s no happy ending. You just might not realize it until it’s too late.
So here’s a heads up to the girls who have been putting in most of the work.
There’s a difference between putting in effort, and matching effort. Relationships shouldn’t be one-sided and they shouldn’t feel like a chore either. You should never be missing important events in your own life, just because you want to satisfy his needs. If you’re 110% confident he would do the same for you, go for it. But if you’re in a place where you feel like he’s always giving excuses for some reason or other, there’s something wrong.
You’re not obligated to indulge in his every want or desire. Allow yourself to say no whenever you feel like his requests clash with your own priorities.
It’s one thing to put someone first, but it’s another to never be put first.
Love is most definitely not easy. You might not actually even be in love yet. Maybe it’s the beginning of something new. Maybe you decided to dive into things headfirst, even though you’re not the most affectionate type. And if this is the case, maybe you’re oblivious to his slowly declining effort. You might think it’s the norm. Hopefully, when you do realize that you’ve been putting him before yourself, you’re able to talk things out and find a solution.
If not, take it upon yourself to leave behind unrequited love and save your effort for someone who is able to match it.
Obviously, everyone’s romance is going to be different and it’s not always going to be in the “honeymoon” phase. The moral of the story? Be cautious with your heart, and don’t let any guy take you for granted.
As someone I know once told me, “Boys ain’t s***.”