I Collected Data From All My Gal Pals And Homeboys, Here's What I Found Out About The Friend Zone

I Collected Data From All My Gal Pals And Homeboys, Here's What I Found Out About The Friend Zone

You thought it could be something more, but it was only you who thought that.
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My best friend and I were on FaceTime. You know your friend is about to tell you something major when she starts off by saying, "BITCH!"

Knowing my best friend, it could only mean she was going to spill the tea about her current man (who really isn't her man, but should be). And, I was right. Long story short: He dropped the, "I'm not ready for a relationship," bomb on her and friend-zoned her. By the tone of her voice, I could tell she was not too happy and I couldn't blame her for it.

Imagine talking to a certain person and spending so much time with them, which eventually leads you to catch feelings. One day you feel all gusty and pour your heart out just for those feelings not to be reciprocated.

Here's the cherry on top: They drop the "Let's just be friends" bomb on you.

It's the disaster you hope would not happen but it does and it sucks.

After that conversation with my best friend, I got curious about other people's experiences with getting friend-zoned, so I texted and called some of my gal pals and homeboys. They were more than glad to answer a few questions regarding their friend zone stories.

Listening to them talk about their personal experiences, it is safe to say that being put in the friend zone is not the greatest feeling at all. It can be frustrating and confusing. As Homeboy One put it, "I think in most situations, the girl might give some signals and the guy shoots his shot, but then she says no and he gets really choked."

You think you have a chance when, in reality, you don't and it screws you up a little bit.

"You kind of wonder why you weren't good enough or what you could have done differently," Gal Pal Three briefly explained.

Gal Pal One shared one of her experiences where a guy pulled a 180 on her. Initially, she decided to just be friends with him because she did not feel the same way. She kept her word about being friends with him, but, as time went by, she realized she was developing feelings for him. Thinking that everything might work out this time around, she told him. Except he had moved on and told her they were better off just being friends.

The rejection causes your confidence level to drop.

Gal Pal One and Gal Pal Two both experienced losing a lot of confidence after being friend-zoned. Gal Pal One got to the point where she expected it to happen with every boy she talked to because she thought no one would ever feel the same way towards her.

Gal Pal Two became convinced that she just was not the type of girl guys want to get serious with.

It was not only the girls who dealt with self-esteem issues, the boys did as well. However, the boys said it was not as bad for them. When asked for an explanation, Homeboy Three stated, "Life goes on, don't let one girl stop it from moving." They get over it and accept that it was not going to work out.

When asked what would make them friend-zone someone, everyone had their own different reasons. These reasons range from personality to having chemistry.

Gal Pal Two expressed how much personality matters. "When you get to know the guy more, you learn things about him that you don't like or didn't expect of him," she explained.

Meanwhile, having chemistry is important for Homeboy Two. When asked to elaborate, this is what he had to say: "If you two don't get along well, then you really shouldn't try to move on to the next level."

My friends and I came to the conclusion that being friend-zoned is not always the worst. It could be a good thing sometimes. We noticed that we actually became closer to the people we decided not to date as well as with the one who friend zoned us. At first, it does suck, but you just have to be patient and see how things play out. For all you know, something good might come out of it.

Cover Image Credit: @newgirlonfox

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

PSA: Don't Text And Date, Do It Like Our Grandparents

Waiting for a text from a boy is like waiting for water to boil. Sometimes I think if I take a lap around my kitchen then the text will magically light up my phone.

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Texting in our relationships has become so prevalent that it has snuck its way into TV. shows and movies, as well as songs. This makes sense because it is such a large part of our lives. Texting boys can be great in some cases, especially in long distance relationships.

And don't get me wrong, it certainly can be exciting!

But I've realized is that it has the potential to be incredibly inefficient and waste a whole lot of everyone's time. The time that is wasted is a combination of the time spent texting in a conversation that leads absolutely nowhere, along with the time you spend thinking about when that next text is going to roll in. Not to mention all the time you spend screenshotting these texts and sending them to your friends and asking advice on how to craft a perfect reply and agonizing over the right wording, re-typing over and over again, having everyone from your best friend to your Mom weigh in on the perfect syntax.

For a generation that is obsessed with getting everything as fast as possible, why are we contacting each other so inefficiently? We think we will just send a quick text, but more often than not, it turns into a whole production.

Snapchat can be even worse. Taking time out of your day to take a well-lit selfie and send it to a boy just so he can send you a snap of his actual chin is just ridiculous.

We are talking to people constantly about absolutely nothing. And quite frankly, we all deserve more. Technology is great, but just because it is advanced doesn't mean it's advancing our communication skills. Boys, I think it might be time to pick up the phone again. Imagine if instead of spending countless hours in a Snapchat conversation grasping at straws to make a plan with the girl you like, you actually just picked up the phone. The call would take maybe two minutes to set up a plan instead of whittling away a whole day. It seems like just because we have the option to text or message someone, we forget that we have the alternative of a trusty phone call.

If our grandparents had dated the way that we did, would they have ever worked out? Would our parents ever have been born? Would we even exist?

As I am re-watching "Sex and The City," "Gilmore Girls" and "Friends" yet again, I am overcome with nostalgia about what dating was like during these times. I'd love to come home to a message on my machine.

Maybe you're reading this and you think I'm lame and old fashioned and you're absolutely right, but I think I have a point. In order to have better success in our romantic relationships, we need to work on actually saying something. Why are we claiming we are "talking" to someone when we have never talked to them in person? How did we end up in this reality of sulking when we have been left on read, or obsessively checking to see if someone has viewed our Snapchat story?

We've been given all these ways of pseudo-communicating and endless time to do it and absolutely no rule book of what is acceptable. When you really think about it, it's a recipe for disaster that could be destroying our relationships before they even start. We need an Emily Post of technology to teach us how to behave. We need to stop abusing the convenience of technology and start challenging ourselves to communicate better.

I challenge you if you're a single lady that the next time a boy asks for your Snapchat, tell them you'd prefer it if they called you to make plans.

Guys, just call a girl! It might really impress her! Everyone who tries this has full permission to call me and yell at me if the person who calls you/you call says you're a huge freak. But do me a favor and start leaving your ringer on when you're not in class. Let's talk.

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13 Reasons To Date An Aries Girl ASAP

Once she's in, she is in with her entire heart.

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It's my absolute favorite season: Aries season! As an Aries, I tend to flourish as my best self once Aries season rolls around. I'm here to lead the way into the new astrological year, and as a single Aries, I'm here to convince single guys why they should date an Aries girl like me ASAP.

1. She's adventurous

She's not content with humdrum dates, she needs action or she'll leave you out of boredom. She'll be down for something to get her adrenaline pumping and will keep you on your toes.

2. She's driven

She's a girl with goals. She's independent and doesn't need anyone holding her back from what she wants. Support her or get out of her way.

3. She's all in whole-heartedly

When she falls, she falls all at once with her entire being. This is a girl who is willing to put her heart on the line for love once she knows it's real. You'll never have to worry about her heart being anywhere else but with you.

4. She's very direct with her likes and dislikes

She isn't a sugar coater since she hates liars, so she'll be honest about everything. Whether you like it or not, you'll always get the truth from an Aries girl.

5. She's super passionate

Whatever it may be, an Aries will be passionate for what she loves. I am passionate about writing, and I never let anything get in the way of it. In a relationship, an Aries girl will bring the heat that comes with her passion for you.

6. She's not a clinger

She hates clingers SO MUCH. Over the top PDA or romantic things generally make an Aries cringe (maybe not all of us, but I know that's how it is for me). She loves getting attention, but being clingy is a major turnoff, and she isn't one herself. She's not going to beg to see you 24/7, she likes to lead her own life.

7. She's a great listener

She loves to talk, but something she's just as great at is listening. She'll ask you so many questions to get to know you and really listen to what you have to say when you answer them.

8. She's big on friends and family, they come first

She's a big proponent of valuing her friends and family above all else. She will likely go to them for advice about everything. Meeting them is more important to an Aries than many people realize. If you're big on family, she's the girl for you.

9. She's open to anything in the bedroom

Got a fantasy? She's game to indulge. She's adventurous and that extends to bedroom activities as well. The same old routine bores her, so don't be afraid to experiment and try new things.

10. She only uses the past as a means to learn

She's probably got a rough past she doesn't necessarily want to talk about. The past is the past and she tries to use this as a lesson. It takes a lot for her to open up about it. She tries to be optimistic and keep herself in the present, and this optimism may rub off on you eventually.

11. Her cuddle game is epic

You'll never want to leave bed once your Aries girl gets her hands on you. You'll be too comfortable to leave.

12. She loves fashion and wears trends well

She loves wearing what's in fashion and looking her very best. Her outfits may put yours to shame. She's the kind of woman you want on your arm while you're out on the town.

13. She'll be the woman you'll never forget

You may break up or drift apart, but she's the girl that will leave a permanent mark on your heart. She's unforgettable.

Get your Aries while you can, because if you don't scoop her up, someone else will.

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