I Collected Data From All My Gal Pals And Homeboys, Here's What I Found Out About The Friend Zone

I Collected Data From All My Gal Pals And Homeboys, Here's What I Found Out About The Friend Zone

You thought it could be something more, but it was only you who thought that.
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My best friend and I were on FaceTime. You know your friend is about to tell you something major when she starts off by saying, "BITCH!"

Knowing my best friend, it could only mean she was going to spill the tea about her current man (who really isn't her man, but should be). And, I was right. Long story short: He dropped the, "I'm not ready for a relationship," bomb on her and friend-zoned her. By the tone of her voice, I could tell she was not too happy and I couldn't blame her for it.

Imagine talking to a certain person and spending so much time with them, which eventually leads you to catch feelings. One day you feel all gusty and pour your heart out just for those feelings not to be reciprocated.

Here's the cherry on top: They drop the "Let's just be friends" bomb on you.

It's the disaster you hope would not happen but it does and it sucks.

After that conversation with my best friend, I got curious about other people's experiences with getting friend-zoned, so I texted and called some of my gal pals and homeboys. They were more than glad to answer a few questions regarding their friend zone stories.

Listening to them talk about their personal experiences, it is safe to say that being put in the friend zone is not the greatest feeling at all. It can be frustrating and confusing. As Homeboy One put it, "I think in most situations, the girl might give some signals and the guy shoots his shot, but then she says no and he gets really choked."

You think you have a chance when, in reality, you don't and it screws you up a little bit.

"You kind of wonder why you weren't good enough or what you could have done differently," Gal Pal Three briefly explained.

Gal Pal One shared one of her experiences where a guy pulled a 180 on her. Initially, she decided to just be friends with him because she did not feel the same way. She kept her word about being friends with him, but, as time went by, she realized she was developing feelings for him. Thinking that everything might work out this time around, she told him. Except he had moved on and told her they were better off just being friends.

The rejection causes your confidence level to drop.

Gal Pal One and Gal Pal Two both experienced losing a lot of confidence after being friend-zoned. Gal Pal One got to the point where she expected it to happen with every boy she talked to because she thought no one would ever feel the same way towards her.

Gal Pal Two became convinced that she just was not the type of girl guys want to get serious with.

It was not only the girls who dealt with self-esteem issues, the boys did as well. However, the boys said it was not as bad for them. When asked for an explanation, Homeboy Three stated, "Life goes on, don't let one girl stop it from moving." They get over it and accept that it was not going to work out.

When asked what would make them friend-zone someone, everyone had their own different reasons. These reasons range from personality to having chemistry.

Gal Pal Two expressed how much personality matters. "When you get to know the guy more, you learn things about him that you don't like or didn't expect of him," she explained.

Meanwhile, having chemistry is important for Homeboy Two. When asked to elaborate, this is what he had to say: "If you two don't get along well, then you really shouldn't try to move on to the next level."

My friends and I came to the conclusion that being friend-zoned is not always the worst. It could be a good thing sometimes. We noticed that we actually became closer to the people we decided not to date as well as with the one who friend zoned us. At first, it does suck, but you just have to be patient and see how things play out. For all you know, something good might come out of it.

Cover Image Credit: @newgirlonfox

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 Things The Man You Love Should Do For You, No Questions Asked

Sometimes it's just the simple things in life that mean a lot.

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Every girl feels special when the guy she's dating does simple things for her that not everyone thinks about. Here's a list of 10 things that every girl genuinely appreciates.

1. Open/Hold the door

I feel like this one is really simple because everyone has to walk through doors. Chivalry isn't dead, let him open the door for you. He's not trying to prove that you can't do it for yourself, but he's trying to be polite and show you that he cares for you.

2. Give you really big hugs

Everyone has bad days, and sometimes you just need a really big hug. Whether it be a bear hug or the hug where he picks you up and spins you around, it will make you feel better in the long run.

3. Buy you really small gifts

One of the best things my boyfriend has ever done for me is simply bringing me a Dr. Pepper when he knows I'm tired from a long hard day full of exams or work. Sonic slushes will also make my day in a heartbeat.

4. Text/Call you just to tell you he loves you

This is pretty simple. It takes less than 10 seconds to text, and only a few minutes to call. Sometimes you get these texts right at the perfect moment, and it makes you feel so much better.

5. Come see you when you're sick

Everyone hates being sick. But seeing your friends and family while you're sick can make you feel so much better. Having your boyfriend come to see you and possibly even take care of you just makes being sick that much easier.

6. Respect your decisions

You're not married yet, so your decisions are up to you! He should respect the decisions you make and support you, even if it's not what he thinks is the best decision. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else!

7. Give you a shoulder to cry on

We all have bad days, and sometimes you just can't stop the tears from coming. Even if he's not good with crying, he should give you hugs and love to help you get through it.

8. Compliment you

Even if you look horrible and know so, hopefully, he'll still tell you that you look good. Even if the clothes you're wearing aren't his style, he should still tell you that they look good on you and that you are beautiful each and every day.

9. Call you when you're away or he's away

If you're like me, I miss my boyfriend after being away for about three hours, so when we're apart for more than a couple days, I love getting random calls from him when he knows I'm not busy. It's definitely better than a text.

10. Deal with all your annoying quirks

So if you're anything like me, you enjoy screaming music as loudly and horribly as you can in the car and making a complete fool of yourself, but he should love you for that anyway. I also love to take really stupid pictures, and he should put up with that too. He shouldn't be annoyed by your quirks, he should love them and laugh along with you.

11. Love you no matter what

I honestly feel like this goes without saying, but I put it on here so that the girls who don't feel like they're being loved no matter what can realize. He should want to work out problems with you instead of calling it quits and holding a grudge. He should want you to be happy and support you in every decision you make in life. When he loves you unconditionally, he will do all of the above things and more.

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If You View Being In A Relationship As 'Losing Your Freedom,' You’re In The Wrong Relationship

Someone had to say it.

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Relationships are about being the best possible version of yourself separate and together. They're about growing with and doing life alongside your partner. They're fun, loving, and granted, they can sometimes be challenging.

Some challenges that frequently come up in relationships are disagreements (which are for sure gonna happen, because you're two individual people!), dealing with stress, and depending on where you're at in life, it could also be financial struggles. Of course, all relationships are going to have problems and everything won't always be “rainbows and butterflies" as Maroon 5 like to put it.

That being said though, one challenge that shouldn't ever be an issue in a relationship is the loss of freedom. Where did this idea come from?

I see it all the time, people talking about not wanting to get into a relationship because they don't want to "lose their freedom".

If you are in a relationship which causes you to lose your freedom, you are 100% in the wrong relationship.

Being in a relationship is not synonymous with not being able to be yourself or be able to do what you want. In a good relationship, you will be able to still have your alone time, be your own person, hang out with your friends, the list goes on and on. All of these things are so important. Relationships should never consume your life, they should complement it.

Why is this even a conversation we need to be having? Seriously.

Now obviously if you're referring to losing the option of getting with other people or dating around, then yes, you're right, you absolutely shouldn't get into a relationship... but that doesn't mean relationships mean losing your freedom.

If you are in a relationship with someone you love and respect, getting with other people isn't even going to be on your radar. It truly is that simple.

The trend of hating on relationships, for this reason, has gotten so out of hand in recent years, especially on social media. It's so frustrating, though, because it could not be any more inaccurate.

You should absolutely still have freedom in relationships. You can have it. I for one absolutely have it and do not view my relationship as the loss of freedom, at all. If you don't, maybe evaluate that relationship and realize it's not the best one to be in.

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