My Friendship With My Friend Group Ended, And I Couldn’t Be Happier

My Friendship With My Friend Group Ended, And I Couldn’t Be Happier

I don't need the constant support of temporary people in life.
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Friends are a great thing to have. They're your personal pick-me-up when you're feeling down and need a boost. They're the people you can talk about the weirdest things with at 3 AM and not be judged.

Friends are those special people who will tell you how it is and you won't be offended because you know they're right. Friendships are a lovely addition in life and the more you're around them, the more you feel like they're family. And yet, my friendship with my friend group ended awhile ago.

Honestly, I couldn't be happier.

I was always a part of a group during my younger years. We always hung out, whether in or out of school. We liked the same things and did the same things. It was as if I was looking in a multi-way mirror.

But as most of you have figured out, those same friendships don't last once you get to high school or even college. They dissipate and become nonexistent without a trace. They become so catastrophic that the only way out is to drown.

How can you be friends with people who just turn their back on you one by one? Hanging out everyday and sitting together at lunch results in sitting by yourself at a table with strangers. Always laughing and telling jokes turns to seeing each other and doing nothing at all and glances become glances never returned to your used-to-be friends. Talking to each other turns to talking about each other.

When you lose those friends whom you considered family, something inside you breaks. Your spirit, your confidence, your happiness, your soul, your mind, your heart... Something isn't the same anymore and at times, you tend to blame yourself for these events. You wonder whether you were too overbearing, too excited, too talkative, too much of anything. You think you broke apart the friendship and ruined it all on your own.

But listen, this isn't your fault. It never was your fault. Your friends left on their own terms and if anyone should be happy about that, it's you.

You don't control what people say or do, you don't control the moon that in turn controls the tide. What you can control is yourself.

You can control your actions and your attitude, your expressions and emotions, your well-being. You control how actions affect your attitude. You are a good enough person to know that you did nothing wrong. They left because they changed, and you did not.

I realized through personal experience that it wasn't me who did wrong. It wasn't even my friends. All throughout life certain people come into your life for certain reasons. Some people come to teach you lessons while others come to build a life with you involved.

My friend group was not meant to stay in my life. They came through my life to show me I'm stronger than what they think I am. I'm stronger than what I think I am. I can accomplish more on my own than I can with someone's help.

I realized I don't need the constant support of temporary people in life. I don't need the reassurance of short-term people. Through that interim group of friends, I learned self-love, self-appreciation, self-worth. I learned how to love and support myself better than any brief friend ever could.

For those that know what this feels like, don't worry and don't stress. There is a better time coming for you. It might be immediate, or it might take some time, but it will come. This isn't the end.

Out of experience I can tell you it is going to be hard. Toxic relationships are what they claim to be, toxic. But you aren't going to go without a friend or that special support from your bestie. Friends stick together and they most definitely stick around. All you're left with is you, yourself, and time.

I am happy to report that I find the person that I have become, and the girl that I used to be, to be very different people. I might not have seen this as a happy ending before, but it is now. It has turned me into a stronger, more confident, and more beautiful version of myself.

So to all my past, short-lived friends, thank you for leaving me behind and making me stronger.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels.com

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Sorry Boys, But I Won’t Be That Girl Who Waits Around For You Anymore

Just because I know my worth doesn't mean I should have to wait around for you to realize it too.

ninitran2
ninitran2
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I'm like most girls. I am such a hopeless romantic when it comes to dating and all that jazz. With that being said, I have also been the type of girl who has waited around for that guy once or twice (OK let's be real, one too many times).

I am a nice person and a lot of my friends know that I have a kind heart. You can do me dirty and I will forgive you. When it came to guys they could have led me on or ghosted me and later on came back out of nowhere and apologized, more than likely I would have given them a second chance at redemption.

I waited around for that guy to either realize how great we would be together or realize how great of a girl I was. All of my friends would tell me how great I was and how worthy I was but in the end, they weren't the ones I wanted to hear that from. Which was why I waited around and thought up of an excuse to defend the guy I was waiting around for.

The older I got the more I realized how silly I was for waiting around for a guy who probably did not appreciate me the way I should have been appreciated. I realized that I was much better than that and I made a promise that I would stop waiting around. Of course, I did slip up here and there (I mean, I am only human after all).

It wasn't until I was beyond over the male species that I realize how ridiculous I was being for crying over someone who stopped talking to me without rhyme or reason. That was the moment that I realized how worthy I was of a great relationship. A relationship that you see in movies or see in old couples who have been married for 65 years.

I decided I was no longer going to be THAT girl who waited around for a guy. I was no longer going to defend him when my friends asked me why I was still talking to him. I was no longer going to wait around for him to realize how worthy I was. Ever since I promised myself that I was going to live MY best life I have been beyond happy.

Yeah sometimes I say to myself "he was different" but then I remind myself that if he truly cared for me the way I cared for him then I would not have to wait around. He would not only pursue me but also my heart.

So ladies, realize your worth. Stop waiting around for that guy to come to the conclusion how amazing you are. You are a queen and if he can't see that right off the bat, he is NOT worth your time. Wear your crown with your head held high, live your best life, and slay the day away, queen.

ninitran2
ninitran2

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You’re Not Going To Meet Someone On Your Couch Watching Netflix, So Get Your Ass Up

Dating isn't easy, but getting off the couch shouldn't be too hard.

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I don't mean to come off as harsh.

The words are directed at me just as much as they are anyone else. Dating isn't easy, especially when most of us have been out of practice. Even as an extroverted person, the idea of striking up a conversation with an attractive guy makes me anxious. If you are fine with being single then this article isn't for you but for the rest of us who want to change our stagnant relationship status, keep on reading.

Dating has changed drastically since our parents' days. In-person conversations have shifted to words on screens, while dinners and drive-in movie theaters have turned into "Netflix and chill." While some of us might be OK with these casual meetings, others want to be wooed. No matter what kind of relationship you're looking for, I can tell you that you aren't going to find it while laying on your couch. Starting something new is stressful and nerve-wracking, but you have to start somewhere. Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zones in order to put ourselves in a situation to meet someone new. Whether it's a house party, a nice night out with your girls, or maybe even an invite to study with a new group of friends, these all have the possibility of you putting yourself out there.

There is the potential to meet someone new anywhere: the library, the grocery store, or even in class. While it's important to put yourself out there, don't put so much pressure on everyone you meet. Some people are meant to just be friends, while others have the possibility to be so much more. If you try and it doesn't work out with one person, don't beat yourself up — maybe it wasn't meant to be, or the timing just wasn't right. All I'm trying to say is that you will never know what's out there if you don't get off the couch. I've had a lot of heartbreak in my life and sometimes I think that stops me from trying something new. It's hard to come to terms with that you might be what's stopping you from having a relationship with somebody. We need to remind ourselves that we deserve to be loved and be happy, and a healthy romantic relationship can give us that, we just have to be willing to try.

So strike up a conversation with the cute guy in your English class. Text the boy who you've always wondered "what if." Flirt with the guy who you make eye contact with across the bar. Or don't. The choice is yours. Sitting on the couch hasn't been working for you though, so you might as well try something new.

If you're truly content with being single, I'm happy for you. Keep watching Netflix on your couch, don't let me stop you. But for everyone else who wants to change their relationship status, pause the show, close the laptop or turn off the TV. Try something new, even though it's scary. I'm not saying a boyfriend will just fall into your lap, but it certainly doesn't hurt to try.

Someone could be out there waiting for you, all you have to do is get off the damn couch.

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