My Friendship With My Friend Group Ended, And I Couldn’t Be Happier

My Friendship With My Friend Group Ended, And I Couldn’t Be Happier

I don't need the constant support of temporary people in life.
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Friends are a great thing to have. They're your personal pick-me-up when you're feeling down and need a boost. They're the people you can talk about the weirdest things with at 3 AM and not be judged.

Friends are those special people who will tell you how it is and you won't be offended because you know they're right. Friendships are a lovely addition in life and the more you're around them, the more you feel like they're family. And yet, my friendship with my friend group ended awhile ago.

Honestly, I couldn't be happier.

I was always a part of a group during my younger years. We always hung out, whether in or out of school. We liked the same things and did the same things. It was as if I was looking in a multi-way mirror.

But as most of you have figured out, those same friendships don't last once you get to high school or even college. They dissipate and become nonexistent without a trace. They become so catastrophic that the only way out is to drown.

How can you be friends with people who just turn their back on you one by one? Hanging out everyday and sitting together at lunch results in sitting by yourself at a table with strangers. Always laughing and telling jokes turns to seeing each other and doing nothing at all and glances become glances never returned to your used-to-be friends. Talking to each other turns to talking about each other.

When you lose those friends whom you considered family, something inside you breaks. Your spirit, your confidence, your happiness, your soul, your mind, your heart... Something isn't the same anymore and at times, you tend to blame yourself for these events. You wonder whether you were too overbearing, too excited, too talkative, too much of anything. You think you broke apart the friendship and ruined it all on your own.

But listen, this isn't your fault. It never was your fault. Your friends left on their own terms and if anyone should be happy about that, it's you.

You don't control what people say or do, you don't control the moon that in turn controls the tide. What you can control is yourself.

You can control your actions and your attitude, your expressions and emotions, your well-being. You control how actions affect your attitude. You are a good enough person to know that you did nothing wrong. They left because they changed, and you did not.

I realized through personal experience that it wasn't me who did wrong. It wasn't even my friends. All throughout life certain people come into your life for certain reasons. Some people come to teach you lessons while others come to build a life with you involved.

My friend group was not meant to stay in my life. They came through my life to show me I'm stronger than what they think I am. I'm stronger than what I think I am. I can accomplish more on my own than I can with someone's help.

I realized I don't need the constant support of temporary people in life. I don't need the reassurance of short-term people. Through that interim group of friends, I learned self-love, self-appreciation, self-worth. I learned how to love and support myself better than any brief friend ever could.

For those that know what this feels like, don't worry and don't stress. There is a better time coming for you. It might be immediate, or it might take some time, but it will come. This isn't the end.

Out of experience I can tell you it is going to be hard. Toxic relationships are what they claim to be, toxic. But you aren't going to go without a friend or that special support from your bestie. Friends stick together and they most definitely stick around. All you're left with is you, yourself, and time.

I am happy to report that I find the person that I have become, and the girl that I used to be, to be very different people. I might not have seen this as a happy ending before, but it is now. It has turned me into a stronger, more confident, and more beautiful version of myself.

So to all my past, short-lived friends, thank you for leaving me behind and making me stronger.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels.com

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Asked 11 Strong Independent College Girls Why They Plan On Staying Single Alllllll 2019

We don't all need a man to be happy.

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Listen. Not every college girl wants a ring by spring or really even cares about finding a man. With the popularity of going to college just to walk out with a Mrs. Degree, all the confident and single ladies tend to get overlooked.

Well, ladies, in case you haven't caught on to 2019's biggest dating trend, I'll share it with you—it's loving yourself and staying single. Here what these 11 strong, independent, college girls say about their plans to stay single alllll 2019.

1. Boys are dumb. Simple as that.

"The male species literally is incapable of using their brain at 20-years-old, I'm going to wait until 30s so maybe they will know how to use their common sense. Sorry boys." - Shelby, 20

2. I want to grow on my own.

"I want to focus on learning more about myself and challenging myself. Also, relationships are complicated so I'd rather spend that time worrying about or focusing on school." - Molly, 18

3. Self-love is the best love.

"I need to learn to love myself more than I have been the past two years. I just got out of a two-year relationship (which I am still severely heartbroken over) but I am actually excited to be living life for me." - Caitlin, 20

4. The time spent on focusing on gaining someone else's love will now be spent on finding love within myself.

"It's not that I plan on staying single, I'm just not going to actively put myself out there and fine tune myself. I have spent the past couple of years doing everything I could to find a guy, dating apps, blind dates, letting my friends run my dating apps, socializing a little extra and it just makes me so tired. I want to focus more on myself and what I like to do. Take myself out for a nice dinner and spend time with me. Not watching Netflix but actually getting to know who I am and love myself again, because how you can expect somebody to love you and know you if you don't even know or love yourself?" - Leah, 23

5. Time for some power moves, sister.

"I'm achieving my career dreams without any man holding me back or making me second guess myself or my decisions!" - Jenny, 21

6. Someone print this on a damn t-shirt or something.

"I'm trying to get A's, not Baes." - Holly, 20

7. Well, to put it simply...

"Men are trash." - Bobette, 22

8. Your potential should not be defined by a relationship.

"I've found there's more to life then having a boyfriend. Right now, I'm transitioning from being a college student to my career and I think the last thing I need is to worry about starting a relationship. I'm going to focus on loving myself this year." - Sarah, 21

9. So much time has already been wasted...

"I plan on staying single because boys have been too much of a waste of my time already." - Erin, 21

10. What's the move in 2019? Self love. That's the move in 2019.

"For myself, honestly. I just want to focus on me." - Lex, 19

11. I'm the best me when I'm single.

"I just function better when I'm by myself. There's no extra stress and no need to please or impress anyone." - Jordyn, 20

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11 Thoughts Single College Girls Experience On Valentine's Day

All the mixed emotions single girls feel on Valentine's Day

Dr King
Dr King
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Other than my junior year, any Valentine's Day that came across during my college years were filled with a wide range of emotions. Part of me was salty because I wanted the gifts and attention others were getting. Part of me was relieved that I didn't have to plan anything and could focus on classes the next day. Most of the time though Valentines Days were filled with anticipation for the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy.

I've always wondered how my personal mixed emotions seemed to line up with the general population and research shows that it's complicated for many. Although singles aren't necessarily devastated by it, our thoughts about Valentines Day depend on many situational factors.

And if you're a single college girl, you may be thinking these 11 things on Valentine's Day:

1. “I wish I had a boyfriend just for the day.”

This is what some girls are thinking if they’ve been single for a while and they don’t necessarily miss being in a long-term relationship, but they just want completely undivided attention for the day and a romantic candlelight dinner.

2. “I’m glad I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t need a man.”

This is what usually goes on through girl's heads if they're the independent type who don't place that much value on relationships. They might still scroll through Instagram out of pure nosiness, but if anything, they're probably thinking about how happy they are in the relationship they have with themselves.

3. “I wonder if he’ll send me a happy Valentine’s Day text...or maybe it’s too early for that.”

Valentines Day is already hyped up enough when you’re in a relationship and it’s to be expected that you probably won’t be doing anything romantic if you’re single on that day. But what about those who are in a situationship? Yes, it’s that awkward phase when an official title isn’t there, but that doesn’t mean Valentines Day can’t be brought up at all. Don’t you secretly hope that the person you’re involved with will at least send you a “Happy Valentines” text or stop by and give you a rose?

4. “Wait, they’re actually together?”

On Valentine's Day, the timeline on Instagram is similar to the Oprah Winfrey meme “You get a car! You get a car!" except it's with boyfriends instead. This girl has a boyfriend! *gasp* and this girl has a boyfriend too! *gasp*

5. “Wait...didn’t she just key his car and slash his tires after he hooked up with her best friend last week?”

This exact thought might be a tad bit of an overexaggeration, but it's still the most awkward thing when you see a picture of a couple looking as happy as can be, but deep down everyone knows that their relationship is nothing but drama behind closed doors.

6. “I’ll just hang out with my girl friends, eat pizza, and gossip.”

Girls who enjoy the company of their closest friends more than anyone else will most likely be thinking of hosting a Galentine's Day party rather than a Valentine's Day party. Besides, romantic love isn't the only love that exists.

7. “I’ll treat myself with chocolate.”

Let's be real. Valentine's Day is the perfect time to take a break from the diet and splurge on candy and chocolate.

8. “I’ll treat myself with wine.”

Other than candy and chocolate, wine would be the third option as a substitute for having someone special for Valentine’s Day.

9. “I can’t believe I got dumped.”

Believe it or not, the time of February is peak breakup time. A Facebook study showed that around the time of Valentine’s Day is usually when you’ll notice breakups start to happen in a more recurring manner.

10. “It’s literally no different than any other day.”

Then finally, there are the people who really don't give a damn about Valentine's Day at all because ultimately, it's just another day.

11. “Maybe this wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't dick deprived.”

Sometimes Valentine's Day doesn't have people thinking about intimacy and romance. Sometimes it's just a reminder of the sexual drought you've been going through for a while.

Dr King
Dr King

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