To Put It Bluntly, Dating As A Gay Man Sucks
Start writing a post
Swoon

Gay Dating In 2018 Feels Like Running Into A Minefield, Blindfolded

Dating in general is hard, but dating while gay is even harder.

292
gay pride parade

"There's always plenty of fish in the sea." my friends say, patting my arm reassuringly. I know they're trying to comfort me and make me feel better about my bad luck with men, but there's something way deeper at work than just a bad dating streak.

Let's face it: the straights have it all. They have a huge dating pool and no shortage of straight people to couple up with and procreate. While us gays struggle to even find a fellow queer to even talk to. The gay dating pool is like a landlocked pond in the middle of some remote forest. All the fish in this pond already know each other and have absolutely no interest in each other whatsoever.

That, my friends, is what it is like to date while gay.

Hey, I'm not knocking being gay: I absolutely love being gay and wouldn't trade it for anything in the entire world. I'm just saying that it absolutely sucks to be gay while trying to find a hot date that'll turn into a long-term relationship. We scourer dating apps like Grindr and Tinder in the hopes of finding our prince charming, but end up finding nothing but frogs or dead ends. We watch our straight friends find love with wonderful partners who cherish them, while we sit on the sidelines, bitter.

There are many factors contributing to this dating conundrum in the gay community. One of the biggest problems is that many gay men are still closeted. Sure, it's 2018 but that doesn't mean everyone is living a tolerant lifestyle. There are still many families that create a toxic environment for their queer children by preaching homophobia to them. This, of course, makes it difficult for them to be emotionally vulnerable to anyone else, including other gay men. It isn't their fault that they're this way, it's the fault of an intolerant society that still demonizes homosexuality and doesn't allow for any positive queer representation within the media (which, thankfully is changing).

There's also rampant racism and body shaming within the gay community, making it an unwelcoming place for queer people of color and heavy set men. Grindr profiles are notorious for having nothing but a chiseled torso and a bio stating: "No Asians, no Blacks, and no fatties." We're already a minority within the world, why should we further alienate people within our own community? It just doesn't make sense.

At the end of the day, dating for queer folk aren't going to get any easier. We're still going to be creating roadblocks within our community, making it even more difficult for us to respect each and every individual that makes up our wonderful community. I still wholeheartedly believe in love and finding that special person that'll bring such a bright life to my life. I'm just tired of being alone, tired of being taken for granted, and tired of having to give everything to a man who doesn't appreciate the emotional gifts I give him.

One day, my prince will come, but one day it'll be too late.

Report this Content
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

55397
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

35687
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957727
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

185572
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments