"What are we?" Shiiiiit. Things were going so well, but these three words changed everything. At least that's what my friend told me as she explained over FaceTime why she was no longer talking to the guy that she had been hooking up with for the past two months. They had met on Tinder, agreed that neither of them wanted anything serious, and proceeded to meet up casually once or twice a week for the last couple of months. They never really talked about what they were, but she had assumed that they could continue hooking up until it no longer worked for one of them. She wasn't sure what changed things, but somewhere along the way, he felt that they were becoming something more — a feeling that she didn't reciprocate.
The idea behind casual hookups or friends with benefits seems ideal, but can it ever work? It may seem like a foreign concept, but these situationships are more common than we think, especially in a college environment.
Everyone wants someone, yet no one wants to be cuffed.
I'm not sure how exactly it happened, but we've turned into a generation that no longer puts labels on relationships. There used to be single or in a relationship, but now there's a seemingly infinite gray area in between. You could be doing all the things that constitute a relationship, yet still not call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend. Instead, they're a "friend" or a "hookup buddy" or a "girl I'm talking to."
Why? Have we become so afraid of commitment that we would rather call it anything besides a relationship? Or are we that terrible at communicating that we choose to leave everything up to interpretation instead of addressing what the situation is upfront?
I can't be one to judge, though, as I, too, have found myself guilty of leaning on these situationships. I don't want a relationship, and calling someone my boyfriend seems way too serious, but I still like having someone I can hit up whenever. Consistency without commitment is so convenient, and I guess I've learned to seek out others who feel the same way.
But there's a reason situationships never work out in the long run. Acting like a couple without actually labeling yourself as one leads to confusion and mixed emotions. You could find yourself stuck in a position you no longer want to be in, and chances are, someone will get hurt. It's time we start addressing our feelings instead of constantly avoiding them. Situationships seem nice, but they can't last forever.