I Spent 2 Months, 20 Phone Calls, And 6 Doctors Appointments Trying To Get An IUD, And I Still Don't Have One

I Spent 2 Months, 20 Phone Calls, And 6 Doctors Appointments Trying To Get An IUD, And I Still Don't Have One

I'm only 21, and it's terrifying to think that my journey with birth control is only just beginning.

I have been on and off birth control pills since the sixth grade.

I will never forget sitting in the OB/GYN's office in Seattle Children's crying because my periods were so awful.

I was having 10-day-long periods.

Three days of cramping so bad I couldn't stand followed by seven days of menstruation. My cramps were so bad that I was missing too much school. The OB/GYN recommended starting on a low dose of birth control pills to try and reduce the pain and duration of my periods.

I took them consistently for almost three years.

In my eighth grade year, I ran into unrelated medical issues and stopped taking BC (birth control). My periods were no longer as bad as they once were.

Over the next six years, I took them intermittently. I would go a few months on them and then stop. I never liked the effects.

They made me feel less beautiful, less sexy and less like me.

Last fall, I came to the realization that I was officially quitting birth control pills. There's nothing I do in my life at the same time every single day. I'm potentially the least disciplined person alive.

I decided to get an IUD.

I thought that getting an IUD was the ideal choice for my sexual, physical and mental health. It's the good feminist thing to do and the people I know with them, love them. I talked to my sorority sisters and other great women about them. I did my research and talked to my primary care physician over Thanksgiving break.

And then, I put it off.

Your girl can be lazy AF when she wants to be. But I was also scared. I read horror stories online and got busy with school.

In mid-February, I started up my IUD search again.

I talked with family and friends about where to get it done in my tiny college town. We have just enough options to make the decision difficult, but not enough to really have a choice.

I called the OB/GYN that I had seen in the past and made an appointment with her office. They only wanted to see me immediately following my period.

My appointment six weeks away.

As the people in my life can tell you, it was six weeks of worrying and thinking about it. I was so proud of myself for doing something good for me but also terrified of what could happen.

Three weeks before my appointment, I realized that I could not get an IUD in the morning before three classes followed by three hours of work because of the potential side effects. How had that not occurred to me?

I needed to move the appointment.

I called the OB/GYN's office and tried to move it. After many phone calls, conversations with nurses, and speaking to my mother, it was starting to look like I wouldn't be able to get one there. They would only see me during a three-day window and there simply weren't any appointments.

So I called WSU's on-campus health providers to make an appointment with them. Turns out, they needed two appointments.

Then, I decided to call Planned Parenthood just to see if I would get in sooner. I scheduled an appointment there too.

The next day, I called my OB/GYN one more time just to confirm that I couldn't get in.

I was in luck.

Finally, I was able to get an appointment to see my OB/GYN. Last Tuesday I went to see my doctor.

The appointment did not go as planned.

After nearly eight months of thinking about an IUD and two months of actively trying to get one, my doctor told me that I am not a good candidate. She recommended that I not get an IUD because I have had issues with ovarian cysts, which are a potential side effect of hormonal IUDs.

I started crying.

I felt so defeated. To me, an IUD represented protecting myself from an unwanted pregnancy, regulating my periods, and taking good care of myself.

My doctor and I discussed other options.

Next month, I'm going to try something new. Hopefully, something that finally works for my lifestyle and is as effective as an IUD.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Movie Sex Scenes That Would Never Go Down Like That In Real Life

There's a lot of time, scripts, makeup, and lights that are involved in these scenes that make them what they are, unlike the sex that happens in real life.

Dr King
Dr King

When I was a child, my idea of sex was confined to what I saw in the media — two people rolling around underneath the sheets of their bed. I didn't understand what was going on at the time until my parents had the birds and the bees talk with me, but still, sex was not something that was discussed regularly in any setting so I couldn't help but use the movies and television as my main source for sex education. When I was a teenager, I started watching rom-coms so my idea of sex expanded to a scenario where two people who loved each other effortlessly fall into a euphoric experience and then they live happily ever after.

Then something about the idea I had changed as I watched the series premiere of "Secret Life of the American Teenager," a popular teen drama from ABC family about a girl who struggles with being a mother in high school. One of the first and most memorable scenes of the show is when Amy Juergens talks to her best friends about what it was like to have sex for the first time. Her friends were ecstatic for her at first until she revealed her dismay, telling them "I didn't exactly realize what was happening until, like, after two seconds, and then it was just over. And it wasn't fun and definitely not like what you see in the movies, you know, all romantic and stuff."

I heard those words and was immediately taken aback. As a 13-year-old, sex wasn't on my mind much, but I couldn't help but hope that I could experience the magic I saw on screen. Then eight years later I have sex for the first time and I realized that what she said was right...not about the part about it not being fun, but more-so about the part that sex is not actually like what is depicted in the movies.

Here are five examples in movies that created unrealistic sex scenes for its viewers:

1. "Skyfall"

This steamy scene between Bond and Severine make shower sex look passionate and trouble-free, but do its expectations match reality? No. What they don't show you is the sting from the water getting into your eyes, the awkward positions your bodies have to accommodate with if there's a significant height difference between you and your partner and the fact that water is a terrible substitute for lube because it strips away the natural lubrication your genitals produce.

2. "No Strings Attached"

Sometimes there are those moments when you want to have sex, but you don't have that much time on your hands so you have to fit in a quick session before work in the morning, in between classes, or right before the kids come back home. Though Natalie Portman's "O" face is spot on, the main thing that makes her quickie with Ashton Kutcher's unrealistic is that she still manages to climax after 45 seconds without any kind of foreplay, lube, or toys involved. The female orgasm is still possible during a quickie, but in real life, there will still have to be creative measures involved so that enough stimulation outside of penetration is involved to get her warmed up.

3. "Fifty Shades of Grey"

As much as I enjoyed the playfulness behind Ana and Christian dipping ice cream on each other's bodies and licking it off each other, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how over exaggerated it became. Yes, I understand that when something feels good, a moan or some type of vocalization will happen, but getting some kisses and licks on your thighs isn't going to have you arching your back like a demon going through an exorcism.

4. "Mr. & Mrs. Smith"

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's chemistry and passion in this scene is undeniable and it almost makes you want to start a fight with your partner just so you two can have some hot, angry sex just like them. Here's the problem though. They go from nearly killing each other to being boo'ed up like nothing happened. While angry sex can be a way for some couples to express emotions through adrenaline, it isn't the answer to our problems and shouldn't be a substitute for healthy communication.

5. "Titantic"

The moment in the movie when Kate Winslet's hand slams against the door of the car and drifts down as we stare at her steamy handprint and secretly wish we were sleeping with Leonardo DiCaprio will always be a classic. However, this scene is still a scam for those who hope car sex is as passionate and heartfelt as that. Truth be told, there's limited space to feel comfortable so leg cramps are inevitable and sliding against leather feels awful on your skin. To top things off, if you aren't careful enough, you may get caught by the police and ultimately have to register as a sex offender depending on your state's laws.

I truly hope for the day that sex in the media is represented in more of a realistic way, but until then, we just have to remember to take movies for what they are. Acting. There's a lot of time, scripts, makeup, and lights that are involved in these scenes that make them what they are, unlike the sex that happens in real life. As a matter of fact, sometimes sex isn't romantic. Sometimes it's not a fairy tale. There are times when it can be mind-blowing and other times when it's awkward, funny, or simply not what we expect. Do I appreciate fictional sex? Of course. But mainstream entertainment should also take the time to show us more than the sex we supposedly fantasize about and also show us sex that we can look at and see ourselves.

Dr King
Dr King

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If You Can’t Tell Your Boyfriend What You Like In Bed, Your Relationship Is Doomed

It's that simple.


Sex is the foundation of a relationship. And so is communication. Put them together with a few sprinkles of trust and empathy and boom! You've got the beginnings of a great relationship.

You don't have to "go all the way" to be intimate. Sharing a connection is all you need, but both parties have to be on the same page. Are you receiving everything you want and need? Are you giving what he wants and needs? Are there sacrifices you both have to make to be sexually satisfied?

Sex makes you happy. A happy girlfriend makes a happy boyfriend, vice versa.

But sex can also be just... nothing. You've got to have "the talk" with the one you're doing the deed with! If you can't do that, then why are you even having sex? Are you even enjoying it or is it just two slapping bodies?

Sex (or sexual intimacy) is vulnerable. It can be scary, but your partner is your person, your best friend, the person who you are closest with. If you're shy about sex even with them, then do you really have a fully rounded relationship? Are you even ready for one? I can guarantee that your boyfriend wants the best for you. Wants to please you. Wants you to enjoy sex as much as you want him to enjoy sex. If he doesn't, then you deserve someone who will want to physically and emotionally please you in the way you require. Simply, call for what you crave!

Everyone is different, sex included. Some people like it rough, some people are vanilla, some people like to take control. Once you figure out who you are, talk about it with your boyfriend. I promise you that your relationship and your sexy time will be a billion times more enjoyable.

Tell him what you like and don't like when he goes down on you or when you're going down on him. If you have boundaries — anal? Handcuffs? Specific locations? Let them know, and touch on every little detail. The more specific you are on what spot you need licked, sucked, and teased, how you want to be kissed, what you want to be said or what music you want playing in the background. Whatever you need to get off!

"Dating is just a sex interview."

I wish I said that first.

If someone isn't getting what they lust for in bed, they're bound to get it somewhere else. Like this woman who cheated on her husband because he didn't go down on her. I'd never condone cheating, but I do believe in breaking up if your needs aren't being met. A conversation has to happen first, though. If you can't talk about your bedroom essentials than how will you be satisfied in life?

I for sure can't live with bad sex for my entire life.

Spilling everything you've got about sex helps to figure out if you and your partner can actually be together. It takes two to tango. If only one of you is satisfied, the entire partnership is unbalanced.

If you've got to start somewhere to balance your relationship, start with sex.

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