10 Things You Should Know About a Guy Before You Date Him

10 Things You Should Know About a Guy Before You Date Him

Get to know him BEFORE saying yes
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So you've got your eye on that cutie who's been in your life as of late and you're wondering whether or not he could be serious boyfriend material. We've all been there, and we've found that there are some very good indicators of this that you can find when you take a look at his everyday life.

Here are a few things you should know about someone BEFORE you date them:


1. How he treats his family

How a guy interacts with his family is often very closely aligned with how he'll interact with a significant other. Pay special attention to his attitude toward his mother and his sisters, if he has any, is he respectful towards the women in his life or does his behavior leave a lot to be desired?

2. If he keeps himself clean and well-groomed

Because most of us find nothing appealing about dating men who smell like middle school boys coming straight from gym class. He doesn't have to be overly meticulous about trimming his hair or keeping his beard neat, but if he's got a serious case of B.O. or habitually forgets to brush his teeth…yikes. Cleanliness is next to godliness, my guy.

3. If he's motivated and wants to be successful in life

Nobody wants to settle down with a man who barely has a grasp on tomorrow, let alone his academic and career plans. It's more than okay if he doesn't have everything figured out because he's young and has time to think it through. But if he continuously skips and fails classes, calls out of work, and neglects a lot of his other daily responsibilities, he probably will give your relationship the bare minimum, too.

4. What kinds of friends he has

Take a look at the people he calls his closest friends—they're probably very similar to him in terms of personality and hold the same kinds of morals and beliefs as he does. While who he associates with in his free time doesn't necessarily define him, the nature of his friendships will shed some light on the basics of what he's looking for in a romantic relationship.

5. How he treats restaurant staff

Is he polite to the host/hostess when he first walks in with you? Does he speak kindly to his waiter/waitress and not react too harshly to any inconveniences throughout the meal? Does he give a decent tip (whatever he can afford)? Trust me, dear— if he's talking down to the waitress or yelling at the waiter, he is definitely not the kind of guy you'd want to enjoy a candlelit dinner with.

6. When he asks you to hang out

If he's only ever calling in the dead of night to see if you want to "come over and chill," he's probably not looking for a serious relationship unless he's made it very clear that that's what he wants. Try not to get your hopes up for a guy who only texts you when he's drunk or horny— he's not in it for commitment.

7. What he does in his free time

How someone spends their spare time throughout the day says a lot about their interests and their goals. Show that you want to get to know him by asking him about what his hobbies are. Even if his favorite pastimes are radically different from yours, that doesn't mean you won't be compatible; you can show each other new things and bond over those experiences.

8. What it's like at his place

When it comes to housekeeping, guys will be guys— you can expect some dirty laundry strewn about or crumbs from a bag of chips in his bed. But take note of whether or not he's tidied up for you at least a little bit. See if he offers you anything to drink or eat if you're there for a while, if he has any pets, and if he's eager to introduce you to his roommates. You're in his home and, if he sees any kind of future with you, he'll do his best to make you feel welcome.

9. The date plans he suggests

Your guy doesn't have to be a master of romance, but it's always the thought that counts. And if he doesn't seem to put much thought into coming up with ideas for dates or says "I don't care where we go" more often than not, he isn't worth wasting your time over. Also, if all of his proposed "dates" are just "Netflix and chill" hookup sessions…enough said.

10. If he's comfortable with having feelings

A mature guy is one who acknowledges that he has emotions and that he can express them freely without compromising his masculinity. There's a difference between being insecure about his feelings and being too afraid of how his boys would perceive him if he shows how much he cares about you. Take note of how confident he is of his self-image when it comes to how he feels and demonstrates his emotions.

Ladies, when you're scouting out the dating scene, make sure you do your research!

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're On The Fence With A Guy

Is he worth it?

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Whether you're contemplating if you want to continue your fling with a guy or contemplating breaking up with your boyfriend, there are always questions we're asking ourselves. Ranging from "is this right of me?" to "is this what will make me happy?" But if you are really sitting on the fence and don't know what to do next, check out these five questions you need to ask yourself if you're torn on what to do.

1. Do I want long term or short term?

This is a huge question to ask. If you're looking to settle down for a while, your guy may not want that. And it could always be the other way around as well. Make sure to decipher this with him so you both know what you want and no one gets a broken heart.

2. Can I see myself marrying this person?

I know this is a bold question to ask, especially if you're not dating. But really thinking about if you can see yourself with them for a long time can make it or break it. But say you're dating and you're on the fence of deciding you want to break up with them or not, think about if you can see yourself saying "I do" to them, and if you can't, let him go.

3. Can I see myself living with them/how do they live?

I've seen many people get engaged and move in together and later call it quits due to the way their partner lived. If you've been getting to know your guy for a while now and notices he lives like a pig, you may have to wonder if you'd be cleaning up those messes in the future.

4. How do they make me feel?

This question in a no brainer. If they make you feel bad, why even question continuing into the relationship.

5. Are they worth it?

Is he worth it? I know I have had some experiences when I was on the fence with a couple of guys and I've had to ask myself the same question. And when I'd question if he was worth it or not, my gut feeling always came out right. If you're looking to keep him around, always ask yourself if he's worth it.

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Girls, You NEED To Understand That Fuckboy Texting You ‘wyd’ 24/7 Will Never Give You A 24 Karat Ring

I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you his wife.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong
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There are five unofficial steps of hookup culture: Find a guy. Get to know him a little bit, but not too much (because you have to keep "boundaries," remember?) Make a pact to keep things "casual" and promise to still be "friends" with each other. Then, hookup with him. And keep hooking up with him without any emotional attachment — just over and over again and never expect anything more.

From a birds eye view, hookup culture seems so harmless. I mean, what's more convenient than having a booty call at your doorstep with the swipe of a screen? When you want to hook up, all you have to do is shoot that 2 a.m. "U Up?" text.

Hell, I even wrote a whole article about the perfect FWB situation.

Yet suddenly—here I am, Elle Hong, resident "Uncuffed" writer on Swoon and self proclaimed fuckgirl who glorifies hookup culture above anything else, catching feelings and falling for the wrong guys just like any other girl out in the world.

Consider this blasphemy. Or maybe I'm just dying to make a confession.

A confession that I, too, have experienced the feeling of wondering why I was never enough for the guys I hooked up with. Why they never chose me over the girls they would eventually form serious relationships with and why to them I only was nothing more than a casual hookup.

So, I thought about it. I critically analyzed it. I "Aristotle-d" my way into trying to find an answer behind the impossible question of wondering why I was never considered to be anything more. Over the past few weeks, it essentially became my new research topic and now, I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you into wifey material. Here's why.

First and foremost: Guys usually (but not always) choose to hookup with girls who they don't see as anything more.

Now, keep in mind I'm not saying that guys will NEVER fall in love with the girls they hookup with because it can happen. It's life. Life is unpredictable. No doubt, people have fallen in love on Tinder and married a random match who just happened to become The One. But we all know what Tinder is really for. Generally speaking, guys will seek random hookups with the types of girls they think are "easy" and if they're desperate enough, it's definitely not going to be someone they view as their future wife.

If he thinks you're cute, you're within 10 miles radius and you can hold a conversation, it doesn't matter what your annual salary is or how many siblings you got—he wants one thing and it's to get you in bed. And until a guys find this girl who captures his heart and inevitably makes him want to settle, he's going to go around hooking up with random girls left and right. So in this case, it's not your fault. You're just with the wrong type of guy who only thinks of you as his sexual conquest.

See also: Guys want to settle with girls that don't go around hooking up with other people.

Ironic as hell because I just talked about why guys would never want to settle, period. But think about it—guys are humans with rational thoughts and animalistic desires. When they find their territory, they mark it. Once he finds a girl who is the one, he never wants to let her go. And he never wants to see that girl be with another guy or god forbid, go around hooking up with other guys. So here's the moral of the story to get my point across: I hate to break it to you, but bragging about how many other guys you're f*cking outside of your current FWB situationship isn't going to help develop the relationship any further.

Finally: A girl's "hoe phase" might seem empowering but for guys they see it as a threat.

Thanks to the wonderful millennial encyclopedia that we call Urban Dictionary, we have a definition behind this certain life style: A phase in life which occurs when a girl goes around social settings exploring herself, committing promiscuous acts and connecting with random people. For girls, it seems pretty damn empowering, doesn't it? For us it's a chance to let loose, to live a lil bit more and to run around as independent women. Nothing wrong with that of course.

But for guys to perceive this type of lifestyle, they see it as a threat which could arise if they form a relationship with you. It's simple logic here. A girl who's in her "hoe phase" is more likely to be unfaithful since they're always out and about with this person and that person. Put it this way: a guy doesn't care if you're a hoe—but he only wants you to be HIS hoe and not everyone else's. So you might think that it's a great way to express yourself and to enjoy your college years, but keep in mind that it could possibly be holding you back from taking the next step with your casual FWB.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

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