Ghosting Is A Totally Acceptable Form Of Self-Protection, So Get Over It

Ghosting Is A Totally Acceptable Form Of Self-Protection, So Get Over It

Everyone hates ghosting but, honestly, it's ok to do it.
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If there's anything that people who date online seem to universally hate, it's ghosting. When you're talking to someone consistently or have even met up a couple of times, it doesn't feel great when they decide to just stop talking to you, with no warning and no explanation.

I've ghosted people and I've been ghosted myself. Nearly everyone on online dating platforms has experienced ghosting as well, whether that be from the giving or the receiving end.

Despite how much people dislike the idea of ghosting, I believe that it's a completely appropriate way to let some casual encounter know that you're no longer interested and that ultimately no harm is done.

Why do people ghost? It can be anything from feeling uncomfortable to not having a good time to finding someone else to "just not feeling it anymore." Regardless, these are all appropriate reasons to end a casual dating encounter and they owe the other person no justification.

I ghosted a guy who I matched with on Tinder. We exchanged numbers and then he started ordering me to do things and calling me multiple times until I'd pick up. He made me uncomfortable and I felt unsafe continuing to get to know him so I decided to block his number and un-match with him on Tinder. No harm done.

Just moments ago, I blocked another guy who sent me a Snapchat proudly toting his confederate flag memorabilia. I've got a strict "No Racists" policy. #SorryNotSorry, that conversation was over before it even started. Another example of neither of us being harmed.

I've been ghosted by a guy I spent the evening with. We hung out and I thought we'd both had a good time. When I tried to Snapchat him again a couple weeks later, I found that my snap didn't deliver since he'd blocked me from the app. I thought "Oh, that's weird. He must not have enjoyed himself as much as I thought he had." And I moved on. Again, no harm done.

Nobody owes someone else a relationship. People want different things, and especially within the world of online dating, it can be easy to get caught up in your own excitement and then assume the other person is on the same page.

When you're only just getting to know someone; when you've exchanged first names and Snapchat handles, there's no real reason to explain to that person why you don't want to talk anymore.

"I just don't find you attractive."

"There's no real chemistry here."

"I don't see this working."

"I'm not interested."

"I've found a better option for the night/weekend/time being."

These are all hard things to say to someone, especially someone you don't even know.

By ghosting, you leave the door open to interpretation. If they want to believe it's because of their body or their personality of their clinginess or any number of other factors, that's on them. You don't owe them an explanation. And they don't owe you.

Dating is hard enough without walking around like we owe each other something, so let's cut the crap and accept not being everyone's first choice all the time. There are always more fish in the sea and more people to swipe right on.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To The Ex Who Won’t Move On, It’s Time To Let Go

Moving on is hard, but it’s time for you to realize I’m gone.

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It's been a year. It's been 365 days since I left you. I was ready for a change. Our relationship was unhealthy and very toxic. We argued constantly. You were very controlling, and it was time to end it. You knew you were the issue in the relationship and you knew what needed to be fixed.

You couldn't change.

After figuring out I couldn't live the rest of my life unhappy, I left. It was hard no doubt. We had good memories, but the bad outweighed the good. You never appreciated me. You weren't loyal to me and I never understand why. You always made me feel as if I was never enough.

I finally left you. You couldn't accept the fact that I was done. I told you I discovered my self-worth and you were angry. You didn't want to see me go. You called and texted me for weeks.

I ignored you.

You were so mad because I was finally done. You had convinced yourself that I would come back but little did you know, I wouldn't. You called and texted daily. You even called my job. You didn't understand. I could no longer listen to ongoing insults and constant accusations. I had enough of it.

When I didn't respond to your calls and texts, you began using text apps and calling me from restricted. You wouldn't stop. When you found out I moved on, it got worse. I begged you to stop and you wouldn't. I finally stopped responding. You still continue to try to contact me.

I need you to move on. I want to put everything behind us. I want you to go out and find someone to make you happy. I need you to realize you and I are over. I want you to move on like I did. I am happy now and I don't need you ruining that. To my ex who is struggling to move on, it's time to let go and move on.

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11 Sneaky Signs Your Relationship Is Headed For A Breakup

Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere.

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When you think of a breakup, you may think of weeks of screaming at each other, cheating, lying, and pretty much every other obvious sign you aren't meant for each other.

Sometimes, these signs aren't even there. There may be underlying signs that have been there for a while until it all bubbles up and, BOOM, the breakup happens.

Here are 11 subtle signs your relationship is headed for a breakup:

1. When your S.O.'s name pops up on your phone you feel like groaning.

Throughout your relationship, you would get butterflies when your S.O's name came on your phone. You would be dying to talk to them and tell them all about your day. If it feels like a chore, it might be time to revaluate the relationship.

2. If you live together, you find yourself hoping they aren't home when you get there.

Coming home to your S.O. at the end of every day should be rewarding and exciting. You need to be comfortable in your own living space.

3. You stop wanting to spend time together.

You don't need to spend every waking moment together, but when it seems more like more of a task to take time out of your day that isn't okay.

4. FaceTimes and phone calls become nonexistent.

And if they are existent, the love isn't there and they seem distracted.

5. When you are hanging out, you are checking the time and figuring out when you should leave.

Before, time would fly by and you would be wishing you had more time.

6. Going out on a date seems like a hassle more than an actual treat.

Date nights are rare in busy lives, but when planning them isn't exciting anymore it usually isn't a good sign.

7. When you look into the future you don't see them in it.

You had all your kids names picked out and now you can't even see the relationship getting through the next month.

8. The time between talking to each other increases.

You find yourself forgetting that you haven't talked in a while. And it doesn't necessarily bother you.

9. They irritate you more.

Just their face could bring out anger you didn't know you had.

10. The quirks you once found endearing are now annoying.

Remember the way he'd easily fall asleep in your arms and how it made you feel all gooey inside? Yeah, now it's like he's never awake when you're around.

11. When they stop doing the little things that once put a smile on your face.

No more random "you're beautiful" comments or spontaneous trips to your favorite places in town.

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