To The Girl Who Dreams Of Her Future Career More Than Her Future Children

To The Girl Who Dreams Of Her Future Career More Than Her Future Children

My career is more important right now and that's OK.

Keep on rocking, girlfriend.

When I sit down and think of my future, I imagine my boyfriend becoming my husband and us both killing it at life. I imagine a beautiful house sitting on a good bit of property with two great danes running around freely. I imagine us living in a Godly home surrounded and doing life with all of our friends and family. I also imagine a 5 a.m. alarm clock going off for me to get to the hospital on time and not having to worry about who is going to keep the kids that day.

Ya see, God did not intend for my sole purpose on this earth as a woman to be to cook, clean and reproduce. He just didn't. When He made me He said, "There is a little spitfire. She is going to change the world one day."

I pray with my entire heart that I will have a successful career one day, that I will be able to make an impact on someone's life, every single day that I step into my workplace. And yes, I do also pray, Lord willing, that I will be able to hear the words "mommy! come here!" every five seconds of my day. But I do not want that right now. Or anytime soon. And I think that is perfectly OK.

Being a southern woman, this is so not the norm. I am surrounded by young adults and women that all dream about being a mom one day and always say, "Oh my, I want a baby right now!" I have never felt that way, and in some cases, I feel guilty for not. Women strive to stay-at-home mommas and that is just not me. I strive to have a career. I want to be that sexy working wife my husband comes home to every day.

Now, I do want to be a mommy one day. I want to hold a precious miracle from God and look over at my husband knowing that the angel we are holding will be loved for the rest of its life. But I have goals I want to accomplish first. I think more women need to have dreams they want to aspire to before having to commit to a lifetime (well technically 18 years, but I am older than 18 and my mom still takes care of me) of taking care of another human.

So, to the girl who dreams more of her future career, you keep on doing you, honey. You look college in the eye and you tell it who is boss. Do not give in to what the world around you says is your job as a woman. It is because you ARE a woman that you can do so much. Keep on rocking, girlfriend.

Cover Image Credit: Sydney Jones

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Collected Data From All My Gal Pals And Homeboys, Here's What I Found Out About The Friendzone

You thought it could be something more, but it was only you who thought that.

My best friend and I were on FaceTime. You know your friend is about to tell you something major when she starts off by saying, "BITCH!" Knowing my best friend, it could only mean she was going to spill the tea about her current man (who really isn't her man, but should be). And, I was right. Long story short: he dropped the "I'm not ready for a relationship" bomb on her and friend zoned her. By the tone of her voice, I could tell she was not too happy and I couldn't blame her for it.

Imagine talking to a certain person and spending so much time with them, which eventually leads you to catch feelings. One day you feel all gusty and pour your heart out just for those feelings not to be reciprocated.

Here's the cherry on top: they drop the "Let's just be friends" bomb on you.

It's the disaster you hope would not happen but it does and it sucks.

After that conversation with my best friend, I got curious about other people's experiences with getting friend zoned, so I texted and called some of my gal pals and homeboys. They were more than glad to answer a few questions regarding their friend-zone stories.

Listening to them talk about their personal experiences, it is safe to say that being put in the friend zone is not the greatest feeling at all. It can be frustrating and confusing. As Homeboy One put it, "I think in most situations, the girl might give some signals and the guy shoots his shot, but then she says no and he gets really choked."

You think you have a chance when, in reality, you don't and it screws you up a little bit.

"You kind of wonder why you weren't good enough or what you could have done differently," Gal Pal Three briefly explained.

Gal Pal One shared one of her experiences where a guy pulled a 180 on her. Initially, she decided to just be friends with him because she did not feel the same way. She kept her word about being friends with him, but, as time went by, she realized she was developing feelings for him. Thinking that everything might work out this time around, she told him. Except he had moved on and told her they were better off just being friends.

The rejection causes your confidence level to drop.

Gal Pal One and Gal Pal Two both experienced losing a lot of confidence after being friend zoned. Gal Pal One got to the point where she expected it to happen with every boy she talked to because she thought no one would ever feel the same way towards her.

Gal Pal Two became convinced that she just was not the type of girl guys want to get serious with.

It was not only the girls who dealt with self-esteem issues, the boys did as well. However, the boys said it was not as bad for them. When asked for an explanation, Homeboy Three stated, "Life goes on, don't let one girl stop it from moving." They get over it and accept that it was not going to work out.

When asked what would make them friend zone someone, everyone had their own different reasons. These reasons range from personality to having chemistry.

Gal Pal Two expressed how much personality matters. "When you get to know the guy more, you learn things about him that you don't like or didn't expect of him," she explained.

Meanwhile, having chemistry is important for Homeboy Two. When asked to elaborate, this is what he had to say: "If you two don't get along well, then you really shouldn't try to move on to the next level."

My friends and I came to the conclusion that being friend zoned is not always the worst. It could be a good thing sometimes. We noticed that we actually became closer to the people we decided not to date as well as with the one who friend zoned us. At first, it does suck, but you just have to be patient and see how things play out. For all you know, something good might come out of it.

Cover Image Credit: @newgirlonfox

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Having High Standards For Dating Should NEVER Be A Bad Thing

Sorry frat boys, but I am not interested in how fast you can shotgun your beer.

“Clueless" has always been my favorite movie. From obsessing over young Paul Rudd, to the highway scene which terrified me and caused me to avoid driving on any highway until I was 18, to Cher's perfect advice about dating, I could not get enough. My obsession didn't stop there; for Halloween my sophomore year, I made my friends dress up as Dionne and Tai; and yes, I was Cher.

Joking matters aside, Cher did teach me a valuable lesson: it's okay to be picky and not settle – especially when it comes to dating. In today's society, there are words for women who don't want to “put out." Words like “prude" or “tease," even “stuck up," are tossed around, but women with high standards should not be criticized.

Expectations placed upon college women these days are challenging enough – we must keep up with our classes, work at least part-time, complete internships and community service, be involved with extracurriculars, and somehow manage to have a social life. Sometimes my social and dating lives take the back seat. That is okay!

Girls, you do not have to go out to the bar and sleep around with frat boys or any other random guy to prove yourself... there are reasons why random guys wouldn't and shouldn't even make the cut.

A trend I have noticed with college guys is an obsession with blacking out. This action is seen as a goal. If I spend the night with someone, I would at least like to be remembered by the guy I wake up next to. Why is it that when men blackout, they turn it into a laughing matter? Doesn't it concern you that there are segments of time which you completely forgot about what happened or what you did?

Dating college fraternity men is also a big-time commitment, one that parallels a job. Sorry, but I don't know if I can show face at every one of your events. I have a life, too. I am a full-time student, I work full-time in various cities and I have an internship.

I want to make it clear, this article is not about dissing fraternity men. Many of the guys I have met through Greek Life are the nicest guys. Fraternities hold men accountable for their grades and instill a desire for philanthropic service. Organizations like Greek Life help both men and women understand that they are a part of something larger than themselves and that their actions affect an entire group. This is an important quality to carry with them in the “real world."

Regardless of college being a time to have fun, girls – YOU CAN STILL BE PICKY! Do not think that having high standards is a negative thing. Do yourself a favor and demand more from the guys you date. You'll both be better off in the long-run.

Cover Image Credit: Buzzfeed

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