To The Girl Who Still Believes In Dating In 2019, But Feels Hopeless, Never Stop Trying

To The Girl Who Still Believes In Dating In 2019, But Feels Hopeless, Never Stop Trying

I know hookup culture is around us, but dating has not been erased.

1117
views

It is 2019 and it's no secret to anyone that hookup culture is not only normalized but a major preference. So many around us would rather spend their time jumping from person to person or having a designated "friends with benefits" than a real relationship. Sex has become the importance for connection and while that's great for some, there are still many that don't want that for themselves.

Sex is great and all, but the power of a real relationship, with love and romance and a deep connection with another person is incomparable. Not to mention, when you have that, sex is a million times better. But that's beside the point.

I've "dated" guys in the past, that always claim they want a relationship then it later turning out they weren't ready or weren't "into that kind of thing."

I know so many girls that feel discouraged. The ones that so badly crave that deep relationship. That want more than just someone calling them on Friday night asking to "Netflix and Chill."

To those girls, the ones that still believe in dating and falling in love, you can't stop trying.

While the hookup culture has become the norm, dating has not disappeared. There are still plenty of people out there who feel the same as you. That know that the joy of finding that person to spend your life with is so much more than just hooking up. That knows the fun of dating. Getting to know the ins and outs of someone's personality. Learning everything about them! From the way they eat their steak to the strange routine they have before they shower.

The reason behind the hookup culture is the fact that for so many years, sex was a "bad thing." It wasn't meant to be talked about and you shouldn't be having it with multiple people. Now that it's become more normalized, everyone wants to, not take advantage of it, but explore themselves sexually.

Just because everyone else does it, does not mean you have to.

I was told by so many friends to have a "hoe phase" and those aren't my words—it was theirs. And while I never judged them for the decisions they made, I just was never comfortable doing something like that. I'm a very shy and inclusive person. I'm like that with my friends as well as who I date. And even though the pressure would get to me on some days, I knew what I wanted.

And I knew that other people did too.

If I gave up on dating, any of the times I considered it, I never would have found the guy I'm with now.

I never would have realized that the struggle and heartaches of searching would've led me to him. He's proven to me that dating hasn't died.

Love hasn't died.

To the girl that still believes in dating, never stop trying. That one is out there, you just have to find him.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

8711
views

In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

1142
views

I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments