Tonight, at dinner, my friend and I were discussing our lives as we so often do. We talked about careers we're working toward, cities we want to live in, and how badly we want some boy to come in and change everything for us. The more we talked about how much we wanted boyfriends who turn into husbands, the more depressed I got.
This happens all too often. Most conversations revolve around boys who have burned us, boys who might burn us but haven't yet, or arguing about who is actually more #ForeverAlone.
Later on, I realized something. I will do far more important things than being loved by some boy.
Life is so short, and time is going to pass whether we obsess over boys or not. Life will pass me by if I spend all of my free time sitting around hoping someone wants to date me. I fall into a vicious cycle when I'm trying so hard to keep a boy in my life. I go from a cool, in-control girl to an obsessive, anxious, checking my phone every five seconds girl who is nothing but miserable. My mind becomes occupied with thoughts like "am I good enough?" and "what did I do wrong?" and "when will he text back?"
My life will be full of ups and downs, but I am capable of far more important and fulfilling things than dating that boy that sits next to me in class.No matter how cute he is, he will never be worth losing my sanity over. He will never be worth all the tears. My impact on the world is not determined by who wants to take me to dinner on a Friday night. My worth is not measured in how many texts I get back.
I am a strong woman with so much inside of me. My life is far too busy to wait around for a text. If someone is worth being in my life, they will be. I won't have to chase them if they are worth being in my life.
Today, finding a relationship might seem like the most important thing that could happen to me. Honestly, it's felt that way for a really long time, and it might feel like that for the rest of my life. Expect, I refuse to let that happen. My life is more important than the time I have wasted wishing someone would date me. You are not a sum of all of the people that didn't love you, you are a sum of all of the things you love.
When someone is supposed to be in your life, they will be. It won't be the crazy, desperate, hard to hold onto the type of "love" that so many of us are used to. It will be a type of love that completes you. I know that this is true, but it's about time that you and I start believing it.