To The Girl Who Can't Seem To Find The One

To The Girl Who Can't Seem To Find The One

Stop searching, and look at what is right in front of you.
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I remember starting high school like it was yesterday.

At the start, like most girls I assume, I thought to myself, "This is where I will finally find a boyfriend!" Going to high school with this perspective was the first mistake I made, and I hope you didn't, or won't, make the same one.

Although now, to you, it may seem like it is necessary to try to find a boy to be in your life for many different reasons, I hope my personal story can help show you otherwise.

Imagine God putting "the one" right in front of your face and you keep looking everywhere but there, that was me. When I transferred schools sophomore year I was "the new girl."

Unlike freshman year at my old school, I slowly started devoting myself more to school, clubs, cheerleading, and church instead of focusing on finding a boy, but it was still always in the back of my mind. I would try so hard every day to look "pretty" for boys. This was my second mistake.

If you want to find someone who wants you for who you really are, you have to be yourself and not try to be someone else to draw their attention.

I know plenty of girls who spend every day trying so hard to get this guy's or that guy's attention when they should be sitting back, being themselves, and letting a guy come to them.

My sophomore year of high school, the year I sat back and focused on more important things, there was this boy who always saved me a seat at lunch and always asked me to hang out. I thought he was a little weird so I almost always turned down sitting in the seat he saved and/or hanging out.

Fast forward to junior year, he stopped asking me to hang out, but we had classes together where we became better friends and could actually carry on good conversations.

It wasn't until we actually became friends, that I realized how dumb I was.

Jumping into a relationship with someone before actually getting to know them and being their friend is the third mistake. It wasn't until I became friends with this boy that I realized the opportunity I gave up on.

Sophomore year this boy was doing nothing but nice things for me, and I looked past all of them because I was searching for someone else. Stop searching for the one, when the one might be right in front of you! It may seem easier to jump at the first boy that shows interest in you but wait for the one who not only shows interest in you but would give anything for you. Fast forward to senior year.

I was getting over a breakup, yes I jumped into something just like I am telling you not to do, and this same boy from sophomore was there for me.

I never had to ask him for help, he was just always there.

Not once did I plead for help from this boy, he could just always tell when I needed it.

Fast forward to September of senior year, we were going on dates and getting closer.

Fast forward again to February 21st of senior year (My Mom's birthday, sorry Mom), we started dating. My whole high school career I was searching for something that was right in front of my face.

I never imagined the boy that would mean the world to me would be the same weird boy from the sophomore year lunch table.

Stop trying to impress boys who hurt you, ignore you, or just aren't good for you. Focus on yourself. Focus on school, your grades, and your family.

The one DOES exist and God DOES have a plan for you, whether you think so or not. If you would just stop and be yourself, the one might be sitting at your lunch table or trying to get your attention, and you're too busy searching for someone else to notice.

Cover Image Credit: Haleigh Dutton

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

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In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

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I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

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