My Girlfriend Came Out As Transgender And Now He's My Boyfriend

My Girlfriend Came Out As Transgender And Now He's My Boyfriend

And I've never loved him as much as I do now.

My senior year of high school I came out as a lesbian and started dating my first girlfriend. I was so excited to be out and was receiving tons of support from friends and family. Since then, I've had relationships with other girls.

But around two and a half years ago I met someone very special. This person's name was Desiree(Des) and they absolutely changed my life.

I have been fortunate enough to be Des' girlfriend for the past two and half years and it has been the best two and half years of my life. I have fallen completely in love and I am so lucky to be dating my best friend. A couple of months ago, Des came to me saying they were having gender dysphoric feelings. These were not new feelings, but this was the first time they were talking about them openly. I soon found out that these feelings went all the way back to about age 6.

The hurt and shame in Des' voice was heartbreaking. And I was hurting knowing that my love had been hiding himself for the past 21 years. Yes, Des came out to me as transgender that day. I once had a girlfriend that is now my boyfriend.

Now I'm sure the first question you have is "aren't you a lesbian?" and although my sexuality has nothing to do with this article and is none of your business, over the years I have realized that I am pansexual. If you don't know what that is, look it up. Now back to the real point of this article.

Des, born biologically female and raised as a girl, is transgender. Once identifying with she/her/hers pronouns, Des is now using he/him/his pronouns. Des is a man and I have never been more proud to be his girlfriend.

Can you imagine living every day of your life as the person you aren't? Being called a girl when you feel like a boy? Being forced to wear "gender fitting" clothing and hating what you see in the mirror? Now imagine feeling all this pain, and also hearing the horrible things that society says about transgender people and the LGBTQ+ community. Imagine knowing who you are but also knowing that people could hate you for it? That was my boyfriend's life for 21 years. And a lot of people live the same life as well.

But people who are transgender are not freaks and their feelings are not wrong. They way they feel is valid and their identity is true. And I am so proud of my boyfriend for having the strength and courage to live his best life as his truest self. I am so proud to stand next to him, hold his hand, and show the world what unconditional love is.

If someone in your life is trans or is questioning themselves and their gender, please support them. Show them you love them, work really hard to use their preferred pronouns, use gender-inclusive language, and educate others that are ignorant on the topic. They deserve respect and kindness and they are human just like everyone else.

Also, when Des decided to come out to his family, friends, and the world(social media), we decided to have a "gender reveal party!" We did this to be ironic since these parties basically reinforce the completely stupid gender stereotypes our society has plus c'mon, that's freaking funny.

Cover Image Credit: Ciara Gazaway

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Cons That Come With Dating A Trans Person That Are Actually Pros

What I've learned from dating my transgender boyfriend!

I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over 2.5 years and it has been the best 2.5 years of my life! However, it wasn't until recently that he was my boyfriend. He came out as trans a few months ago and I could not be more proud of him! We have been through a lot together but I am so happy I get to be by his side during his transition and support him in any way that I can. Even though it has only been a few months, dating a trans person is very different than dating a cis person. Different in a bad way? Of course not!!! But there are some added barriers. There are also millions of amazing things that happen when your partner is trans that not a lot of people know about...some might even say that they are cons, but I am here to show you why they are actually pros! Here are the top 5:

1. Your partner gets more attractive with each passing day

Whether they have had surgeries, are on hormones, or are just becoming the person they truly are, it's almost as if they get hotter each time you see them.

2. You really learn what empathy means

I have heard the word empathy throughout my entire life. I thought I knew what it meant but I really didn't until my boyfriend came out as trans. Gender identity and gender dysphoria are issues that not many people go through or understand, but they are some of the most intense and heartbreaking. I have learned of so many daily problems that I have the privilege of not worrying about that people in the trans community have to deal with multiple times a day. Although I can't fully understand what my boyfriend and other trans people are going through, I have learned to try my hardest to acknowledge my cis privilege, understand what trans people are dealing with, and protect my boyfriend from what I can.

3. They become more and more confident

I cannot even imagine having a body that doesn't match my heart and mind. But one thing I've found is that during the transition process, my boyfriend's confidence and joy has pretty much doubled-and it has only been a few months. But this is the good kind of confidence. It's not self-centered or egotistical. It is beautiful. Sometimes I'll walk into the bathroom and I'll see my boyfriend just staring at himself in the mirror smiling. He's finally finding the confidence that he hasn't had his entire life.

4. People ask you very inappropriate questions about your relationship

Is this annoying or uncalled for? Yes. Is there an upside? Also yes! When myself or my partner are asked these questions, we use that as an educational moment for that person. Trans ignorance and LGBTQ+ ignorance, in general, is very common but the more we can educate people, the better!

5. You kind of have to fall in love over and over again

Your partner is continuously changing throughout their transition. You learn new things about their personality every day because each day they are closer to being the person they truly are. I find this to be extremely beautiful and probably one of my favorite things about having a transgender boyfriend.

Cover Image Credit: Ciara Gazaway

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