How Girls With Anxiety Love Differently

How Girls With Anxiety Love Differently

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You're swimming in an ocean, and without notice or warning, you begin slipping under the surface. You kick and kick, slowly losing your breath. You can't breathe, but you keep kicking. No matter how hard you kick, how hard you try to scream, no one can hear you or help you. Your lungs are burning from the lack of oxygen, you can't reach the surface. You keep reaching toward the sunlight, you see the surface but you can't get there. You're stuck 10 feet under. You're without air, you're without your breath, you black out.

That's anxiety. Anxiety consumes you, anxiety becomes you, and for hours you're alone. You're drowning, and no one can save you, no matter how loudly you yell.

As a result of constantly feeling like this, girls with anxiety have their guard up. We handle almost everything with worry and we are on edge wondering what will set off our anxiety next. Just like that, we're back feeling like we're in that ocean.

Girls with anxiety love differently. But I promise you, we will love you like no one else ever will. We will love you like you are our one and only, you're our safe space, you're the person we know we can trust, and our love for you and our appreciation for you will never go unnoticed.

We need reassurance.

Please be patient when we ask you for the tenth time if you're leaving. We are not in control of our anxiety most of time, so we always want to know what you are thinking, so we are not blindsided because we want to be in control of something in our life. Even though we make you repeat yourself, do not ever think we are ever doubting you. The feeling we get when you know you aren't leaving is so calming. We will love you for it, forever.

We need to feel safe.

Overprotective? Yes, please. Girls with anxiety need to feel safe in their relationships. We are independent, so don't get confused. We just need a little more safety. We need to know you are there, and you care. When we are out in public, we really don't like randoms hitting on us or making us feel uncomfortable, and we'd really like for you to step in and handle it calmly. Because we need to feel safe, girls with anxiety will never go out of their way to converse with randoms. You are our safety net, and you are the only one we will ever want. Please always remember that forever.

We form close bonds.

We lean on you a little more than normal girlfriends. When we're happy, we're happy. When we're sad, we're a mess. If we feel an ounce of anxiety, you are the first person we need. You are the only person we trust to handle us when we're shaking, and when we are gasping for breath. Because you see us so vulnerable, we form a bond with you that you won't ever have again, I promise you.

We will love you like no one else.

We tend to be a little much at times, yes. However, we trust you with our entire lives. Anxiety is real, what we feel is real, and knowing we have someone there who is attempting to understand and not leave no matter how many times we question it is comforting. We love you because you are our protector, our lover, and our calmer. You are so much more to us than a significant other. You are our world, and we are so incredibly thankful for it, and we will tell you 10 million times a day.

We will never let you go to sleep without feeling loved. No matter how many times you ask if we are OK, we always say yes because your happiness is more important than our own, even though you always know when something is wrong. We will hold you like no other woman will, and we will appreciate all the small things you do.

Anxiety controls your body. Anxiety controls your heart. The simple "we need to talk" throws our body in flight-or-fight mode, and we lose feeling. The simple "I don't know anymore" turns our hearts inside out. Breakups are hard, but girls with anxiety will struggle to find themselves again because they put so much faith into you. They love you more than you can ever comprehend, and once you love like that, it's almost impossible to ever love like that again.

So, if you are dating a girl with anxiety, she is not a mess, she is not a prisoner, she is not a burden like she always thinks she is. She is a gift that should be treasured. We tend to need a little more TLC, but we will cherish you for it. Girls with anxiety love differently. But I promise you, we will love you like no one else ever will.

Cover Image Credit: MacKenzie Meadows

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Losing A Parent At A Young Age Makes Love Harder, But Still Worth It

We aren't easy to love, but we're so worth it.
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Ever since I was a little girl I have always dreamed of growing up and who I was going to be. By 10 years old, I had already planned my wedding by color, venue, food, and even my dress.

Granted most of those things have changed, there was one thing I knew that I couldn't go without having my dad walk me down the aisle. Almost every little girl's dream when she gets married is that her dad is there for one of the biggest days of her life.

Well, for me that won't happen.

I lost my dad the summer before my freshman year of high school and it completely devastated me. Growing up, I was never good at making friends so there weren't many friends that could comfort me during my time of loss, but the ones that were there are some of the greatest people in the world and made my transition into high school a little easier. But they always knew there would be a void in my heart that could not be filled no matter how hard they tried.

Going through high school without a dad was rough and it was hard for me to trust people after that because I was scared that they would all leave unexpectedly like my dad did.

In a way it made me try harder to show my friends that I cared about and show them how much I loved them and needed them in my life. I would do anything for them to stay and be there for me even when I didn't know how to myself.

Not only friendships but relationships were hard, too.

Not having a male role model in my life was hard, especially when it came to boys and knowing what was right and what wasn't. My senior year of high school, I had my first boyfriend and it was not an easy relationship to have as well as being long distance didn't help either.

I lived in a constant state of worry that I wasn't enough for him and that he was going to leave at any second. It took me months to trust him and to allow him to show me that he wasn't going to leave at the drop of a pin.

After high school, I joined him at the same school (and it's not just because he went here, I actually love the school) and it was great. I could be myself and I could have the person I love to watch me and help me become who I was supposed to be. But like a lot of life, all good things must come to an end. We broke up right before the first semester ended and It left me feeling scared for what was to come.

Who was going to be there for me to dry my tears at night when I would think about my dad and the good times we had?

The next semester wasn't easy for me, but I persevered like I knew my dad would have wanted me to. There were plenty of times when it would be so nice to hear his voice telling me that it would be ok even when I didn't feel ok and my world was going to explode. As well as going into future relationships being nervous that they won't stay long and will leave me feeling as though I'm not worth loving because I can be a hard person to love.

For people that have never lost a parent let me just say, it's one of the hardest things to deal with and we live with this grief. Every. Single. Day. If you choose to love us, know that it will never be an easy task.

Sometimes we may ask more from you when we go through grief stages and bring back old memories or just burst out crying and need the comfort. But we are so much stronger than you think and we are some of the best people to love simply because we know what it's like to lose someone special.

Loving us means you get to be around someone that will always be your biggest cheerleader and will stand by your side during anything, no matter how hard life gets.

I may not be easy, but I'm so worth it. I'm a person that will never stop trying to show you how much I love you and need you in my life. If I open my heart up to you, it means I trust in telling you about the not-so-great things that happen in my life due to my loss.

Loving me will never be easy, but it might be the best thing you'll ever do.

Cover Image Credit: Jess Aube

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Loving Someone With Depression Isn't The Easiest, But It's What We Need

The first and most important thing that you must do is love them.
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It can be terrifying. It's difficult, it's different, but it isn't something you are incapable of.

Watching someone you love struggle with that ominous feeling of the weight of the world on their shoulders is painful, and it's often challenging to recognize what you can do to help them.

The first and most important thing that you must do is love them. Love them through what they are going through. Let them know that their worth is not conditional.

Show them that their insecurities do not define them, show them that in their struggle they are not alone. You have to become patient with what you may not easily understand, as challenging as this may be.

Through their tears, you must reassure them that there is so much purpose surpassing the moment at hand. It's extremely difficult for someone struggling with depression to see past the current horizon. It feels like looking at a sunset and believing that there is nothing beyond what you can see.

For some, this is easier to understand than it is for others, but for someone who is depressed, this is a recurring, often agonizing reality.

Encourage the struggling people that you love that there is always more than we can see, always more than we can feel at one moment.

Each day we are able to experience millions of different feelings and thoughts. Each day we are offered a plethora of new opportunities.

If this struggling person is you, try your hardest to do the same for yourself.

I know that this is easier said than done. It's one thing to love those that you care about who struggle with depression, but it is a totally different story when the person you need to care for is yourself.

It's more challenging because we often look at our own flaws under an intense amount of scrutiny, like we are examining them under a microscope, being sure not to miss even one.

This being said, try to show yourself the grace and love that you strive to show those that you care about. Recognize that with every shortcoming, every imperfection, you are worthy of the love that you give.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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