For The Girls Who Feel Hopeless Watching All Their Friends Find Love

For The Girls Who Feel Hopeless Watching All Their Friends Find Love

I wish I had an easy answer for you.
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You meet HIM – you know who I'm talking about, the guy you've been dreaming of, the one you thought you'd never even talk to…and then…

He asks you on a date. A REAL DATE!

You hide the happy dance your heart is doing, fight back the squeal, and accept with pleasure. Within seconds, all your girls know and they're offering their closets for you to peruse. You spend hours picking out the perfect outfit.

He picks you up at 7:00 sharp. Not a minute early or a minute late – just like he promised.

The date ends with a sweet kiss goodnight, promises to call you tomorrow, and you dance to your room with a light heart and twinkle in your eye.

And then he actually calls the next day. The dates not only continue but soon he begins calling you the magic word. He begins calling you his... Wait for it...

Girlfriend. SCORE!

When you hear that word, it's not scary or weird or uncomfortable like with the other guys. It sounds just right. Fitting.

Eventually, he pops the question. You call your girls and inform the world with the perfect Insta and FINALLY create that Pinterest wedding board.

You ever so creatively ask your girls to be your maids, which they totally Insta because it's super perfect and cute, and they help you prep every detail of the big day like you've done for them.

Isn't this how we want it to go? Isn't this how we envision it as a little girl? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that this is an ideal but less than likely scenario.

Maybe you haven't met your match. Maybe you've never had a boyfriend that sticks around. Maybe you're frustrated because you've never even been asked on a date and all your friends are getting married and having the cutest babies ever.

And maybe you're believing that your life is a bummer. Maybe you're sick of seeing everyone else fall in love. Maybe you're wondering what's wrong with you and when it'll be your turn.

If that's you, cool. I'd love to tell you that it's going to happen for you soon. I'd love to tell you Mr. Right just got caught in traffic. I'd love to say the cliché little phrase, “to find the right person, you have to become the right person."

But I can't.

I don't know the future of your love life any more than you do. I don't know the purpose of your current relationship status any more than you do. Only God knows if you're supposed to meet Mr. Right and only He knows when it'll be your turn.

But this isn't about taking turns. Life and relationships aren't a game and God isn't skipping your turn when you feel like He is.

The cold hard truth is that there's no cookie cutter answer for your situation and I think sometimes we like to put blanket statements on it because we all know being lonely is HARD.

But I'm not going to give you a magic solution or throw cliché phrases on your life. Because as you step into yet another bridesmaid's dress or fake a smile for another one of your friends in love that you're really trying to be happy for, I'd be willing to bet that those statements don't help at all.

I'd rather remind you that there's a reason God has you right where you are, that you're appreciated, and your current role is needed in big and mighty ways. You are needed as you are, right now, flying solo, individual, and independent.

I know it's tempting and normal to step into a lonely pity party but I dare you to own your loneliness instead of letting it own you. Don't throw your heart walls up in protection or your hands up in surrender. Both are isolating and discouraging places and you're better than that.

When you feel like you're losing hope, take a step back. Are you placing your hope in the ring or in the King?

Don't place your hope in the ring. Place your hope in the King.

Your character, your strengths, and your exact blend of humor, wit, and beauty is needed for something a lot bigger than Pinterest boards and wedding bells.

And maybe you just need to be reminded that the Prince of Peace sees that — even if a Prince Charming never does.

YOU are beloved by God and needed in this big world – with or without a plus one..

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

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In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

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I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

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