When You Feel You're Not Good Enough For Someone
Start writing a post
Swoon

An Open Letter To The Girls Who Don’t Feel Good Enough

You deserve more than second thoughts and maybes.

45
An Open Letter To The Girls Who Don’t Feel Good Enough
Chani Corpus

There are two main problems girls experience when dating boys. The first is he seems really interested for maybe a week or two and you think, "Oh, he might actually like me, I'm excited to see where this goes!" Then the replies get slower, it seems like he's always making excuses as to why he can't see you or how he's been too busy to talk. You make up your own ideas to excuse his apparent lack of interest in order to stay hopeful that things may work out. As the disinterest continues, you start to think: "Maybe it's not him, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm not good enough."

The second problem is pretty much the same as the first but in a longer timeline. The two of you are solid for over a month, you go on dates, he introduces you to his friends, you talk about everything, you make plans for the future, you feel as though you'll end up in a relationship soon! Then he says he needs a break. He needs to figure out how he really feels about you and you start to think: "Am I too much for him? Did I do something wrong? Did he find someone else? Am I not good enough?"

Why is it that when a boy shows disinterest you automatically assume you are to blame? Stop taking the blame for others' lack of interest.

Why do you not know you deserve someone who knows he wants you instead of someone who has to think about it. He should know, and if he doesn't, then he is the one who is not good enough for you.

A small disclaimer that I have learned recently, though: before you assume someone is losing feelings or is no longer interested in you, ask them. So many relationships end in hurt when neither party communicates honestly with the other. Sometimes you think you're the one being hurt when in reality you're also doing or did things that hurt the person you're interested in as well.

In the big picture though, it's not easy to tell yourself "I am good enough," and move on. You can tell yourself that you're good enough 100 times and still just feel like there's something wrong with you, right? You get caught up in that feeling without a way out insight.

What I've learned is that it's OK to feel like you aren't good enough — as long as you know it's not the truth. You can't help how your brain is wired to deal with your emotions. What you can do, however, is reflect on who you are and what you can control.

What physical traits do you love about yourself? Look in the mirror and pick them out. What makes your heart happy? Seek more of that. What're your reasons for getting up in the morning? Invest time in those. Maybe he didn't see those traits and aspirations— but you do, and they're beautiful.

Once you start seeing the beautiful parts of yourself that you love, you start to realize that you deserve to be with someone who sees you how you see you.

Throughout this process of trying to pick yourself back up again after falling for the wrong person, remember this:

You are worth more than second thoughts and maybes.

So... What now?

1. Allow yourself to not feel good enough, as long as you remind yourself that you are.
2. Don't allow your previous relationships to affect or sway how you feel about your current relationship.
3. Remember there is more to your life than searching for a boy who will want you. He will find you. If he's not making the effort, stop trying. Refuse to settle for maybes and I don't knows.
4. Treat yourself with love. Allow yourself to make mistakes and to get hurt — but learn from this in the future.

And girl, you keep asking yourself what part of you wasn't good enough, when really you should be asking what part of you allowed yourself to be treated as if you weren't. Because you are.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

73696
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

46576
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

977283
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments