To The Girls My Ex Cheated On Me With, I Used To Hate You, But Now I Say Thank You

To The Girls My Ex Cheated On Me With, I Used To Hate You, But Now I Say Thank You

I'm not here to drop names or light a fire, I'm here to say a little more than that…

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Now before you start thinking this is a sour article, why don't you just read a little more. I'm not here to drop names or light a fire, I'm here to say a little more than that…

You girls helped me in a way that everyone least expects, in the strangest way.

You knew he had a girlfriend, but you still did it, that I would never understand… but thank you anyway.

Thank you. It has taken me a while to get to the point where I am able to say that, but now I mean it. Thank you for making me realize I deserved so much better than I was getting. Thank you for finally giving me a reason to leave that I had been looking for for so long.

You gave me freedom—you saved me from many lies and pain that I wouldn't have to hear or feel any longer. Thank you.

Did I have hatred towards you? Did I despise both of you? Yes, there is no denying that. You and him both caused me a hell of a lot of pain, but if it weren't for that, I would not have found my happiness now.

I wouldn't have found my worth; I found happiness again. Although my trust may be weak, I have found someone who undoubtedly built it back up, who would never hurt me, and who would never sink to either one of your levels…

Thank you for proving my parents right and realizing I really should have listened before. Although I wish I would have listened a long time ago, thank you for making it to where I will forever and always trust what my parents say.

Thank you for finally giving me that reason to get out and leave, to find better. I'm afraid that if it wasn't for you then I might still be stuck in that toxic place.

Thank you for showing me that pain and that I am bigger than it. For bringing me to God and crying out to him wondering why me? Why wasn't I good enough or will I ever be? And then God sent me someone who he created just for me, who didn't make me feel weak or useless and loved to spend time with me and someone who I was enough for.

Without this absolute devastation, I never would have seen these happy days to come, I never would get to experience the joy I have now.

So thank you, thank you for breaking my heart and making me stronger than ever before.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

The 5 Differences Between Physical and Emotional Cheating Every College Girl Should Know

Regardless of their differences, they're still equally awful.

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Cheating can be a violation of another partner's physical and mental health when it occurs and is often a dealbreaker in a relationship. While cheating of any sort is often traumatic and upsetting for a partner, there exist a variety of ways in which their partner might cheat. Of the many ways in which infidelity can occur, the way a person cheats falls under the categories of physical or emotional cheating.

While overlap can occur between the two within a relationship, there exist a few differences between physical and emotional cheating that often differentiate the two.

1. Physical cheating requires  a physical relationship, whereas emotional cheating doesn't

This is the most self-explanatory difference between physical and emotional cheating. When someone physically cheats on their partner, that means they've decided to engage in sexual acts without the knowledge or consent of their partner. Emotional intimacy involves emotional contact without the partner's consent, such as intimate conversations, extensive flirting and doting behaviors practiced outside the context of the couple's relationship.

2. Physical cheating may not involve feelings or emotional intimacy, whereas emotional cheating does

Physical cheating can involve long-term sexual relations with one person or involve sporadic incidences with multiple people. The archetype of physical cheating is cheating without feelings attached, where people have sex without attachment. While attachment can occur within physical relationships, the assumption is that physical cheating is sex-based.

Emotional cheating, however, is based on forming a strong bond and romantic attachment to someone in a way that's meant to be reserved for their partner. For emotional cheating, the cheater is deliberately seeking validation and affection through non-sexual contact and communication with someone else.

3. Physical cheating involves in person contact, whereas emotional cheating can exist in person or digitally

Physical cheating involves a formed sexual relationship, which can only occur in person. Emotional cheating, however, can include both in-person contact or extensive online communication with a non-partner. For example, a partner could be emotionally cheating through the extensive use of a dating app, wherein said partner channels their affection and emotions into the digital person instead of their partner.

4. Physical cheating is secretive, whereas emotional cheating might not be

In monogamous, non-open relationships, it is expected that each person in the relationship is only sexually active with their partner. For a partner that chooses to cheat, it is imperative they keep their new, sexual partner (or partners) under wraps to prevent sabotaging their relationship. Emotional cheating, however, can manifest gradually without being under wraps.

For example, it's possible one's partner could become romantically and emotionally involved with a friend over time, where time spent with a said friend or acquaintance grows. The investment and growth of the new relationship could occur within social circles that allow one partner to witness the new relationship grow over time. This gradual growth could be masked as a new colleague, friend or contact.

If a partner who's cheating exploits their current partner's trust, they could disguise their new relationship until they decide to leave or break up with the current partner.

5. Physical cheating can cause bodily harm to your partner, while emotional cheating doesn't

While both physical and emotional cheating can result in plenty of hurt, there exist potential health complications from physical cheating beyond impacting one's mental health. If one partner is having sex with one or more people outside their relationship, they risk transmitting STI's to their partner.

Certain STI's manifest in men's and women's bodies differently. Gonorrhea, for instance, doesn't always present with symptoms in women, similarly to chlamydia in men. Untreated STI's can lead to severe infections or infertility, or even cancer or chronic illness if a partner contracts HPV, HIV, syphilis or herpes. So if you and your partner were monogamous and you break that pact, you can put yourself and them at serious risk for health complications.

So if you didn't think cheating on your partner was bad enough, passing on a preventable STI makes you even more of an inconsiderate asshole.

Collectively, physical and emotional cheating are two broad categories of cheating that describe hurtful envelope behaviors within relationships. While both types of cheating often have behaviors that intersect, it's important to recognize what they are to protect yourself in the event they happen.

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15 Things Every College Girl Should Remember When She Ditches A Toxic Relationship

The hardest part of it is getting to a place where you can be honest with yourself.

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The past year or two of my life has been a whirlwind in regard to the relationships I've ended and the ones I've started. I ended a romantic relationship that I later realized was abusive, I learned to let go of unhealthy familial relationships and friendships, and I'm still learning how to have a healthier relationship with myself.

More importantly, aside from letting go of toxic relationships, I've learned how to start investing in energizing, healthy relationships that enhance my life. I found a partner who empowers me to be whole, I started putting more effort into the good relationships I have with family and friends, and I realized the importance of taking care of my most important relationship: me.

But the road to leaving toxic relationships isn't easy. It takes strength and perseverance. The hardest part of it is getting to a place where you can be honest with yourself and how the relationships in your life impact you.

I, myself, still have a lot of work to do, but there are some key learnings I've realized along the way:

1. You can't make someone love or like you, and it's not your responsibility to

2. Their mistake is not your fault

3. If your partner can't be the person you need them to be, someone else will

4. Lifelong friends are the ones who have your back regardless of wherever you are in life

5. Surround yourself with people who join you in celebrating your wins and mourning your losses

6. It's not normal for a person to make you cry every day

7. You shouldn't have to change everything about yourself for someone

8. Love yourself the way you want to be loved

9. Love others the way you want to be loved

10. Energy put into fighting senselessly with someone is wasted energy

11. How friends treat you has a bigger impact on how you view yourself than you might think

12. Call your family more

13. Honestly ask yourself—does my relationship make me feel good about myself?

14. If they can't handle you at your highest and lowest times, they don't deserve you

15. Life will go on, and everything will be okay, even if it doesn't seem like it

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