For anyone who might know me, you know pretty damn well that I'm a crier.
Yeah, I cry a lot. And I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I cry in the library any given day, constantly overwhelmed with the anxiety of trying to simultaneously write papers, study for exams and somehow pass my classes in order to get this degree.
I cry whenever someone gives me anything along the lines of a confrontation or an attitude.
I cry whenever I see one of those animal shelter commercials on TV with that tear-inducing song blaring in the background.
Simply put—I cry whenever something goes wrong.
And relationships are no different.
It's a bit embarrassing how many boys I've actually cried over the past couple of years but hey—at least I understand now that they weren't worth my time. I actually learned a lot from the tears I shed and if anything, they strengthened me and helped me realize the value of my independence as a single girl who doesn't define happiness anymore as having a man in her life.
But looking back to these boys who I DID cry about in the past, I can infer that they all shared a common denominator of being some complete heartless jerk and that each of them had also made me cry at some point in the relationship.
This realization irked me to the point of asking this particular question:
If the guy you're with is making you cry, then why the hell are you still dating him?
Seriously, forget any thoughts about him becoming your "soulmate" or him "always being there for you no matter what." If he's the one who's making you cry for one reason or another, then honey—he's obviously doing something wrong.
And to set things clear here, when you cry about something, you're not being overly emotional or sensitive. You're not being selfish (as he might put it) but instead—you're expressing your true, heartfelt emotions to him which shouldn't be something you have to apologize about.
If he's the right guy for you, he will never try to put you in that position to have to feel sadness, resentment or fear. And he definitely won't be sitting there next to you either one, trying to figure out what the heck he just did or two, telling you to stop crying like a little bitch. Because if he truly cared about you and your feelings, he will cherish you and would only want to make you feel happy and wanted.
There's a lot of reasons why we might cry over a boy.
To get a tad bit more personal here: I cried over a lot of boys because I never truly felt like they loved me the way I loved them. I mean, they would be telling me all these poetic things about how beautiful I was, how they could see a life together and how much they L-O-V-E-D me, but truthfully, I always thought that my devotion to them was stronger than their simple words/phrases.
I also cried a lot because they made me feel insecure and I was afraid that they would want to dump me for some other girl out there. Boys always have options, you know, and all it takes is one pretty girl to catch his eye for him to sashay out of the relationship to get with her.
And whenever I cried about this reason or that, most of the boys I were with simply shrugged it off as me being a crybaby, me being overly analytical about his wrongdoing or my favorite: because it was the "time of the month." Oh, please.
While different boys have a different way of handling this situation, he's still a rational human being with the ability to THINK and understand certain emotions! And if he really loved you like he said he did, he really won't be there trying to make a joke out of why you're crying. So if he's making the situation worse, or you feel as if he really doesn't seem to care about you, then it might be time for you to wave adíos at him.
The next time you find yourself crying excessively about the guy you're with, it might be time to re-assess your relationship with him. Don't think of it as you being delusional or just overly crazy about him.
Because if he's really the guy you're meant to be with, he won't ever make you cry.