Now, before you guys go ahead and say "yes, it is possible for guys and girls to be friends, but only if the man is gay," or vice versa, I wanna say that this is not what this article is about.
Because straight men and straight women can just be friends. I know, I know! College makes it impossible for us girls to decipher men's actions in talking to us out of the blue. Could be at a club, could be at a rave, could even be somewhere as innocent as the college cafe or library. It could be something as simple as picking up a piece of paper for us in order to start banter, or just commenting on the tired looks on our faces and cracking a joke.
But we just have to question their motives. Why?
The answer is simply because boys don't just talk to girls because they feel like it. They're always hiding something up their sleeve. Every move of theirs is calculated. And once they face rejection, they try again just so they can get something they want. It could be hookups, it could be "friends with benefits," it could be their version of a best friend, but they're only putting that label so that they can stay close and be the shoulder for you to cry on when you suffer from a sudden breakup. And this is what causes the stigma of thinking guys and girls cannot be JUST friends, no matter how much you want there to be just a friendship.
People are always going to say "there is something there" when they eye you and your guy friend up and down.
People are going to question the "closeness" of your friendship and bet on each other about how there may be a hint of "friends with benefits" type of thing going on behind that bedroom door — the one you both claim to just play board games behind. And honestly, forget them!
People are always going to judge. People are always going to stop and stare. It really doesn't matter what you think.
They're going to judge if you are dating, aren't dating, are friends, aren't friends. But I just want to say: friendships between guys and girls DO exist.
I do not understand why every single time I bring up being friends with a guy, people look at me and cringe, and continue on to say, "You sure he feels the same way?" The answer to that is YES! Yes, I do know. Because he is in a relationship! Because he isn't looking for anything! Because we legit only talk on the Internet!
As many of you seem to forget, friendship doesn't mean we have to be best friends, doesn't mean we have to hang out every day, doesn't mean we stay at each other's houses engaging in endless banter or long talks about our futures. And if you see it that way, then yes, that guy or girl does have a humongous crush on you. Because why would some random dude drop their own priorities in order to hang out with you and stream "Gossip Girl" just for the sake of it? No.
When I say friendships, I mean just knowing the guy and engaging in talks and occasional hangouts.
That's a friendship. Since some people tend to forget, there are different levels. Level zero, one, two, three, and so on. Or maybe it's just me because I believe in friendships with the opposite sex. I have a couple of guy friends I know only see me as a friend, and yea, there may be a lot of questionable options, and some that are just in the gray area of whether they're just very flirty people or they're flirting with me just because.
But sometimes there's no motive. And you're reading too much into it.
Follow Swoon on Instagram.