What Your Favorite Candy Says About Your Sex Life
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What Your Favorite Halloween Candy Says About Your Sex Life

If you love candy corn, I can tell you how you spice up you and your "boos" sex life

Ella Lucente
Sep 23, 2018
University of Washington
1531
What Your Favorite Halloween Candy Says About Your Sex Life
Unsplash

Halloween isn't just for the trick-o-treaters and the tacky Halloween costume parties that are, unfortunately, so overplayed. Obviously, it's about the candy! But candy isn't about the sugary-sweet candy flavor as it was before. No, there is a more of a sexualization to that Kit Kat bar now, and for us adults, it really says a lot about your sex life.

Candy corn

Candy corn is the top Halloween candy treat, and it shows that you're a true Halloween freak. For most people, if you hate them, you stay weary of them, but if you love them...you're in for a major treat. If you are a candy corn fanatic, you definitely don't come easy. You are willing to wait for the right time, but when the right time comes around, you don't hold back, and you give anyone who craves you a really good time.

Nerds

Pretty self explanatory, but you definitely have a type: a nerd. But lets not downplay what nerds can do for you; they make you feel some type of way. They are sweet, addicting, and will make your toes curl, leaving you wanting more.

M&M's

You play it safe, so as M&M's are the OG go to Halloween candy, missionary is your go to position. This might be good for meaningless flings or one nighters, but much like this delicious candy, it will satisfy the craving for just a little while. If this is your fave spooky candy, you go for something quick that you don't necessarily want to indulge in, and that goes for your sex life as well.

Sour Patch Kids

If Sour Patch Kids are your go to Halloween candy, then you're into the fuckboys or heartbreakers. These candies, as the slogan goes, are "sour, sweet, then gone", and that goes for your sex life. You aren't a relationship person per say, and you would rather have someone continuously please you with their sour exterior. You may begin to have feelings for said person, as they might have a sweet aftertaste, but much like the candy, they will be gone by the next morning before you even wake up. Although they will leave, don't be discouraged: at least they gave you a hell of a night.

Warheads 

Warheads takes a certain kind of individual to love this candy, just as similar to someone who likes to continuously hook up with their ex for some intimate hate sex. The sex is hot and will rock your world, but you know it's just not a good idea. Its strong, passionate, and will leave you in a puddle of sweat, and by the end of two or three rounds, you'll be blissfully regretting it.

Oh Henry!

If this is your fave candy, then you like having sloppy, drunk sex. You'll choose some random person that "will do" for the night, and by the morning, you're not going to be able to remember their name: "Wait...you're names Alex? Oh, Henry!"

Caramel Apple Pops

Another seasonal candy, Caramel Apple pops are hard to find. If these are your fave candy during the scariest holiday of the year, you love to have meaningful sex with someone that you're in love with. These suckers are sweet and delicious, and you love to have slow and intense sex with your s.o. You wait a whole year for these to come in stock in the stores, much like how you wait to find the right person to become intimate with!

3 Musketeers

The candy says it all: better pick out your Paul and Mary, Peter.

Blow Pops

If these delicious fruit suckers with a piece of bubble gum is your fave halloween candy, then you love foreplay. You love blowing, sucking, all that nasty stuff, and you like to take your time with getting it on. You seek pleasure in pleasing your partner, and you do expect the favor to be returned before it gets too hot and steamy in the bedroom.

Hersheys 

Hershey's are the classic chocolate of the Halloween candy bunch, so if you like this, then you're an old soul. You have morals, and although you aren't boring, you definitely are a lot tamer than the rest of the candy in the bucket. Everyone loves you, and you are the sweetest out of the bunch.

There are plenty more Halloween candies out there, but these 10 are classic. This Halloween, be safe and have a little fun with your fave candies out there!

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