You've reached a point in your life where there is someone coming in and out of your life and you are not entirely sure that letting go is the right thing to do. You have gone to everyone you can think of for advice, but you are still stuck. But why do you think you are stuck? Because you think illogically that fate is bringing you and someone else together for the millionth time? Here are a few things to keep in mind when you question if it is time to let go:
1. They are exactly who they've shown you they are
One thing that we mistakenly do is paint our own pictures of those who have painted their picture for us. You see potential in someone who has shown you that they are not capable of having potential. That is what love does to us. When someone shows you who they are, open your eyes. Do not think that the love that you give them will turn them into someone who is better for you, that is a mistake. You wouldn't be deciding whether to let go or hold on if you knew your love could change someone.
2. Your love cannot turn them into a better person
This is a belief that many people hold. And I hate to break it to you, but loving someone into a better person is nearly impossible. Loving someone to the best of your ability for them to stop hurting you, is a lie that you have to stop telling yourself. You cannot have a close, healthy relationship with anyone if you think that your love can change them into a different person. If there is someone in your life that does not serve you or that you have to think of changing, you need to leave.
3. If they love you, they wouldn't put themselves in a position to lose you
Everyone's least favorite thing to hear. But it's true. Anyone who loves you will fight for you. Just because you haven't experienced that yet or don't see your self-worth, doesn't mean that you deserve to continue to suffer. Those who come in and out of your life are here to teach you something, and it can be the simple fact that you need to learn to let go. And yes, sometimes love has a way of finding their way back to you when it has matured, but that isn't always the case. Especially if this is the second or third time that you have had this conflicting problem with the same person.
4. There is no correlation between suffering and love
You have put yourself in a position to be a punching bag to those you love because you think being someone that someone else needs is what love is. Love is a lot of things but it isn't painful. Love doesn't leave you crying and guessing most nights if you are worthy of love. To be with someone doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice all that you are and what makes you happy, to make them happy. You can not let your relationship be an every day or every week struggle and call it love.
5. Stop letting your history with someone be the reason you stay
Just because you and another individual have been through a lot together does not mean anything other than what it is. You cannot stick around someone for years because of comfort and history, knowing that nothing will ever change. You have to stop thinking you can change the image of a situation. When you share a toxic, unhealthy relationship with someone you cannot keep thinking that all that you guys have been through is love. Stop thinking that the pain and heartbreak you two have caused each other means that you belong together. Stop blinding yourself because you have become comfortable with toxic and unhealthy behaviors. History is not a valid reason to stay with someone.