5 Things You Should Keep In Mind If You're Having A Hard Time Letting Go

5 Things You Should Keep In Mind If You're Having A Hard Time Letting Go

When we are stuck between letting go or holding on sometimes we forget about what is right
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You've reached a point in your life where there is someone coming in and out of your life and you are not entirely sure that letting go is the right thing to do. You have gone to everyone you can think of for advice, but you are still stuck. But why do you think you are stuck? Because you think illogically that fate is bringing you and someone else together for the millionth time? Here are a few things to keep in mind when you question if it is time to let go:

1. They are exactly who they've shown you they are

One thing that we mistakenly do is paint our own pictures of those who have painted their picture for us. You see potential in someone who has shown you that they are not capable of having potential. That is what love does to us. When someone shows you who they are, open your eyes. Do not think that the love that you give them will turn them into someone who is better for you, that is a mistake. You wouldn't be deciding whether to let go or hold on if you knew your love could change someone.

2. Your love cannot turn them into a better person

This is a belief that many people hold. And I hate to break it to you, but loving someone into a better person is nearly impossible. Loving someone to the best of your ability for them to stop hurting you, is a lie that you have to stop telling yourself. You cannot have a close, healthy relationship with anyone if you think that your love can change them into a different person. If there is someone in your life that does not serve you or that you have to think of changing, you need to leave.

3. If they love you, they wouldn't put themselves in a position to lose you

Everyone's least favorite thing to hear. But it's true. Anyone who loves you will fight for you. Just because you haven't experienced that yet or don't see your self-worth, doesn't mean that you deserve to continue to suffer. Those who come in and out of your life are here to teach you something, and it can be the simple fact that you need to learn to let go. And yes, sometimes love has a way of finding their way back to you when it has matured, but that isn't always the case. Especially if this is the second or third time that you have had this conflicting problem with the same person.

4. There is no correlation between suffering and love

You have put yourself in a position to be a punching bag to those you love because you think being someone that someone else needs is what love is. Love is a lot of things but it isn't painful. Love doesn't leave you crying and guessing most nights if you are worthy of love. To be with someone doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice all that you are and what makes you happy, to make them happy. You can not let your relationship be an every day or every week struggle and call it love.

5. Stop letting your history with someone be the reason you stay

Just because you and another individual have been through a lot together does not mean anything other than what it is. You cannot stick around someone for years because of comfort and history, knowing that nothing will ever change. You have to stop thinking you can change the image of a situation. When you share a toxic, unhealthy relationship with someone you cannot keep thinking that all that you guys have been through is love. Stop thinking that the pain and heartbreak you two have caused each other means that you belong together. Stop blinding yourself because you have become comfortable with toxic and unhealthy behaviors. History is not a valid reason to stay with someone.

Cover Image Credit: Warren Wong

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Soulful Luke Combs Lyrics To Get You Through That Bad Breakup

Breakups are tough, but Luke Combs is here to help.

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Breakups are very hard to deal with, whether you ended the relationship or your significant other did. The clock on the wall will cure it all and so will Luke Combs, so here's 10 lyrics to do exactly that:

1. "But the clock on the wall will cure it all, even though that ain't how it seems"

2. "You wrecked my world when you came and hit me like a hurricane"

3. "Whoever said it ain't the end of the world and you'll find somebody new, must've never met you"

4. "I picked myself up off the floor and found something new worth living for"

5. "Don't know what you got 'till it's gone, and you're out on your own. All you want is what you can't get back"

6. "And I ain't gotta see my ex future mother-in-law anymore. Oh lord, when it rains it pours"

7. "I'm one number away from calling you. I said I was through, but I'm dying inside"

8. "The second I left, I was kicking myself cause I knew I should've stayed."

9. "I didn't know then, but I sure know now that long neck iced cold beer never broke my heart"

10. "There's a lot of things in this 'ole world I can stand, but when it comes to losing you I just can't"

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4 Reasons I Will NEVER Get Back Together With Any Of My Ex-Boyfriends

It's your loss babe, not mine.

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For being so young I have gone through so much unfair and unnecessary pain because I tried to find love too quick. I have not had one relationship end on good terms and I wish I could say it was all their fault, but I cannot help but to believe there must be something I am doing wrong.

In this generation, people say "I love you" too fast and goodbye too soon. We millennials put all our passion in the beginning of things, forgetting there are greater ends to be discovered. My soul has beaten down, broken, and lost to multiple men that I believed had true intentions. Even though I have never had a good relationship, to be extremely honest, if I knew when I was younger who would break my heart I would never try to change it.

Somedays, like the day I am writing this on, I feel empty and lost because of the suffering that I have experienced and I feel as though I will never be good enough and never find complete happiness. On other days I rejoice because the men that have broken my heart have humbled me. I am loathsome and grateful for them and my experiences with them all at the same time.

Although there are saddening times and certain things that I miss about my exes I will never get back together with any of them for four reasons.

1. Immaturity.

I started dating when I was 13. My first real boyfriend, and what I thought at the time to be first my first real love, broke up with me through text on New Year's Eve. My 13-year-old self was devastated and thought my entire world was ending. Clearly, that is an experience I remember and tell because the kids in middle school and junior high really believe that they are with their forever person, but they have a huge awakening because immaturity does not go well with relationships.

2. Cheating.

Getting cheated on broke my entire image of myself and I couldn't find one good quality about myself because I truly believed that if there was one that he would not have done it. I was wrong, and I wish the day that I found out he had cheated on me that I would not have begged for him to stay with me. After choosing another girl over me I should have realized he is and never will be the truly good man I need and he does not deserve the woman I am.

3. We changed.

I'm not completely the same person I was three months again, let alone 2 years again, and honestly, neither is he. Growing apart is not a bad thing, it is something that just happens naturally. Years later, when we speak, I may not laugh at the same jokes anymore and I may not smile at the same things that I did when I was 16. We both have been with other people and have seen and done new things, there is nothing wrong with that. It is just simply moving on. As Sam Waterson said, "If you're not moving forward, you're falling back." I chose to move forward with my life over falling back into my toxic relationships and for that, I have changed into someone I love and someone they will never have again.

4. You let me down.

I have two expectations of men when it comes to dating, to be loyal and to be loving. A relationship is nothing without trust and giving the same energy back that you put in. That is completely what all my past relationships have lacked. My exes have let me down because they could not fill my expectations that should be what is in any normal, healthy relationship. In today's world, everyone has commitment issues and not many people know how to let themselves just fall. That is devastating for the people that do because they, like myself, get hurt and are made to feel it's their fault.

To everyone I've dated or talked to, thank you for breaking my heart and showing me that you are exactly what I do not need in my life.

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