I Have Been Abused And I Still Believe In Love

I Have Been Abused And I Still Believe In Love

Even in the darkest of times, you should never stop believing.
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I have been abused mentally, physically, and have been cheated on. So, I guess you can say I’ve had it all, and it can’t really get worse than that.

As I was growing up and getting into the dating world, I knew going into it that I was going to have broken hearts. Ranging from being called derogatory names, controlling my social media use, to being hit, kicked, and dragged up the stairs by my hair. I never ever in a million years thought I would become a victim of abuse. But I guess that’s why they say you “always get what you least expect” in life.

Going through something like this has really changed my perspective on life. I cried until there were no more tears to cry, and then would cry again. Dreading the days to come, dealing with the concept and fact that these things have happened to me I had some sort of epiphany along the way: even though I completely broken down from this, I still believe in love.

Since I have stepped away from everything, things came into focus. Love is something that is patient, and love is something that is kind. Though there is pain now, it will be worth it in the long run. All of those tears and emotions of the past will be forgotten when you are with someone who truly loves you.

I know that it is not my fault that I was abused. It’s never the victims fault. That person made the conscious decision to hurt you. Even though all the bruises are healed, there will always be a scar in me. But instead of having that being a dark cloud hanging over me, I have decided to wear it on my sleeve and embrace it. Yes, it is very sad that something like this happened, but I got out of it and getting out is a lot easier said than done. You have to go beyond what your heart is saying to you, and do what is right for you, not your abuser. And it is never easy to lose someone you care about. Breaking from that takes a lot of strength and courage.

I still believe in love because I see it in others. In my family, and in my friends. I see my parents, still being happily married after twenty-something years. I see my brother and sister, coming for me in times of need. Or my friends who are there for me. That is a kind of love that we see every day, but don’t even notice because it is hidden in plain sight.

Bad things will be thrown at you all of your life. How you come back from them really defines your strength as a person. They teach you life lessons, and shape you into the good person you are meant to be.

Cover Image Credit: Clare Keast

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Soulful Luke Combs Lyrics To Get You Through That Bad Breakup

Breakups are tough, but Luke Combs is here to help.

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Breakups are very hard to deal with, whether you ended the relationship or your significant other did. The clock on the wall will cure it all and so will Luke Combs, so here's 10 lyrics to do exactly that:

1. "But the clock on the wall will cure it all, even though that ain't how it seems"

2. "You wrecked my world when you came and hit me like a hurricane"

3. "Whoever said it ain't the end of the world and you'll find somebody new, must've never met you"

4. "I picked myself up off the floor and found something new worth living for"

5. "Don't know what you got 'till it's gone, and you're out on your own. All you want is what you can't get back"

6. "And I ain't gotta see my ex future mother-in-law anymore. Oh lord, when it rains it pours"

7. "I'm one number away from calling you. I said I was through, but I'm dying inside"

8. "The second I left, I was kicking myself cause I knew I should've stayed."

9. "I didn't know then, but I sure know now that long neck iced cold beer never broke my heart"

10. "There's a lot of things in this 'ole world I can stand, but when it comes to losing you I just can't"

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4 Reasons I Will NEVER Get Back Together With Any Of My Ex-Boyfriends

It's your loss babe, not mine.

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For being so young I have gone through so much unfair and unnecessary pain because I tried to find love too quick. I have not had one relationship end on good terms and I wish I could say it was all their fault, but I cannot help but to believe there must be something I am doing wrong.

In this generation, people say "I love you" too fast and goodbye too soon. We millennials put all our passion in the beginning of things, forgetting there are greater ends to be discovered. My soul has beaten down, broken, and lost to multiple men that I believed had true intentions. Even though I have never had a good relationship, to be extremely honest, if I knew when I was younger who would break my heart I would never try to change it.

Somedays, like the day I am writing this on, I feel empty and lost because of the suffering that I have experienced and I feel as though I will never be good enough and never find complete happiness. On other days I rejoice because the men that have broken my heart have humbled me. I am loathsome and grateful for them and my experiences with them all at the same time.

Although there are saddening times and certain things that I miss about my exes I will never get back together with any of them for four reasons.

1. Immaturity.

I started dating when I was 13. My first real boyfriend, and what I thought at the time to be first my first real love, broke up with me through text on New Year's Eve. My 13-year-old self was devastated and thought my entire world was ending. Clearly, that is an experience I remember and tell because the kids in middle school and junior high really believe that they are with their forever person, but they have a huge awakening because immaturity does not go well with relationships.

2. Cheating.

Getting cheated on broke my entire image of myself and I couldn't find one good quality about myself because I truly believed that if there was one that he would not have done it. I was wrong, and I wish the day that I found out he had cheated on me that I would not have begged for him to stay with me. After choosing another girl over me I should have realized he is and never will be the truly good man I need and he does not deserve the woman I am.

3. We changed.

I'm not completely the same person I was three months again, let alone 2 years again, and honestly, neither is he. Growing apart is not a bad thing, it is something that just happens naturally. Years later, when we speak, I may not laugh at the same jokes anymore and I may not smile at the same things that I did when I was 16. We both have been with other people and have seen and done new things, there is nothing wrong with that. It is just simply moving on. As Sam Waterson said, "If you're not moving forward, you're falling back." I chose to move forward with my life over falling back into my toxic relationships and for that, I have changed into someone I love and someone they will never have again.

4. You let me down.

I have two expectations of men when it comes to dating, to be loyal and to be loving. A relationship is nothing without trust and giving the same energy back that you put in. That is completely what all my past relationships have lacked. My exes have let me down because they could not fill my expectations that should be what is in any normal, healthy relationship. In today's world, everyone has commitment issues and not many people know how to let themselves just fall. That is devastating for the people that do because they, like myself, get hurt and are made to feel it's their fault.

To everyone I've dated or talked to, thank you for breaking my heart and showing me that you are exactly what I do not need in my life.

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