16 Ways To Heal A Broken Heart That Don't Consist Of Eating Your Weight In Cupcakes

16 Ways To Heal A Broken Heart That Don't Consist Of Eating Your Weight In Cupcakes

Instead of putting your health aside and making yourself feel worse, focus on caring for yourself.

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After a breakup, your first instinct may be to lay on your couch for a week, eating all your favorite comfort foods and stalking your ex on Insta. While that's not necessarily the worst thing you can do (McDonald's chicken nuggets and milkshakes are my go-to sad foods), there are coping mechanisms available that are healthy for your mind and body and they work just as well.

1. Journal about it.

As a writer, I may be biased, but writing about your feelings and experiences (positive and negative) can be cathartic. If you don't know how to put what you're going through into words, do a "brain dump." I don't remember where I first heard of this method, but I use it all the time when I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed: get a blank piece of paper and a writing instrument and just write down everything that comes to mind. You can write words, phrases, sentences, whatever—just write everything down and try not to judge yourself in the process. Acknowledge everything that comes up and releases it.

2. Draw something. 

For visually artistic people this might be an automatic response, but for people who don't consider themselves artistic just try to express how you're feeling with colors on paper. Even if it's abstract lines and shapes, whatever you create is valid.

3. Meditate.

This is not for everyone but if you've never tried, it's worth a shot. Whether you use an app like Headspace or simply sit down and focus on being present for a few minutes, learning how to meditate in a way that works for you can be wholly beneficial.

4. Cook yourself a meal.

I'm not talking ramen noodles or boxed mac and cheese. Scope out a new recipe, or maybe multiple if you have the time and money. Focus on nurturing your body, not feeding your soul (unless that's what you need). If you've never cooked anything more advanced than pasta and constantly burn your toast, still give it a shot. Creating something with your hands (even if it turns out inedible) is satisfying and learning how to make healthy food for yourself is an important skill.

5. Spend time with friends. 

Laugh with them, cry with them, rant to them, hug them, do whatever you need to do because if they're true friends that's what they're there for.

6. Read a book.

When life takes a painful twist, reading is a wonderful escape. Find a quiet space where you can focus and try to immerse yourself in another world for a while. Acknowledge thoughts as they come but gently let them go and try to keep your focus on the story.

7. Watch a really good (or really bad) movie. 

8. Listen to breakup songs until you have no tears left to cry. 

9. Dance around your room to your favorite upbeat songs.

10. Treat your skin and nails.

Do a facemask (store-bought or homemade with things in your kitchen), take a bath if that's your thing, cut and paint your nails...do something to make yourself feel clean and fresh.

11. Clean/reorganize your room and wash your sheets.

As a self-proclaimed perfectionist I keep my room as clutter-free as possible day-to-day, but when I'm stressed out vacuuming or cleaning out a junk drawer can calm me down. Additionally, one of the best feelings in the world is clean sheets—no questions asked.

12. Take a walk, bike ride, hike, or go to the gym.

13. Delete your social media apps for x amount of time. 

After my last breakup I immediately deleted my social media apps for a week, and at the time it was the best decision I made for myself. Trust me: after a breakup, seeing other people's sappy relationship posts and exciting vacation pics will not do you any good. Plus, it'll give you much needed time and headspace to focus on yourself

14. Write down at least 10 things you love about yourself. 

15. Do something kind for someone else.

16. Make plans for something in the future. 

After a particularly rough breakup, it can be easy to spiral and feel like the world has come to a screeching stop. It's easy to become hopeless not only about your love life but about other parts of your life, too. Plan something to look forward to whether it's a visit to a favorite family member, a vacation, or taking yourself out to dinner.

Lastly, I'm going to say what you've probably already heard a hundred times: you're beautiful and worthy of love and it will get better. Your heart will heal. In the meantime, focus on yourself.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

As Much As You May Want To, You'll Never Get Over Your First Love

You never forget your first

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Your first love is just that: the first person you've ever truly loved (besides your family and friends). Maybe you've kissed a few people before, but with this person it's different. They mean something to you that no other person ever has before. Maybe you met this person when you were younger in high school or met them a little later in life as I did at the end of my first year of college. Meeting my first love transformed me, both for the good and the bad, and as much as I may want to, I'll never get over my first love and neither will you.

When we met, we didn't meet in some fantastical way, we met on Tinder right after a surprise breakup of mine. We had instant chemistry, and I didn't get to kiss him for weeks because I ended up getting mono right after the breakup (haha whoops). He was the first person I've ever kissed who I didn't want to stop kissing- ever. Yes, second semester freshman year me was super extra when it came to him, but being with him was so different than anyone else. Things progressed through the summer as we talked every single day, even though we never got to meet up because we were both busy, and at the beginning of my sophomore year, I lost my virginity to him. That was a big step for someone who thought she'd wait until she was married. He made sure I was fine and didn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'll treasure that forever.

He was someone I loved with all of my being, to the point where it was physically hurting me in the end because I knew what I felt wasn't going to ever be reciprocated the way I wanted it to be. That's when I had to end it, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To me, he was a boyfriend, but to him, I was a friend with benefits. I wanted something more and he wanted less, and I didn't want to accept that. I wasn't his first love but he was mine, which he doesn't know and probably never will. I have had moments where I thought I was over him, but then all the emotions flood right back. In hard moments of hurt is when I miss him the most, but also in moments of joy too. If I see a nice car I think of him, or of other little things, like a french bulldog or The Fast and The Furious.

Your first love leaves such a monumental effect on you as a person. They have seen parts of you others have not. You will always remember your firsts more than anything else, which is why your first love never leaves you. As roughly as things ended between he and I, he's always going to have a piece of me that no one else will ever have. The relationship we had wasn't what you'd expect from someone you call your first love, but his mark on me is what helped shape me into who I am today for better or for worse.

Don't let any negativity remain when it comes to your first love (if there is any). Let it go and remember the good. They will be a part of you forever, so you can never truly get over you.

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Why You Keep Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love You Back In Your 20s

It's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

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Can love truly be both beautiful and heartbreaking?

It's a question I silently asked myself, sitting shotgun in a car next to someone I considered my friend.

A "friend" seemed to be the right label to define our relationship. To him, I was just a friend—who just happened to be a girl, a girl he texts regularly, jokes around, and can grab a drink with. And we loved each other as friends, because we both trusted each other, we had fun together and each had our own independent lives which would connect occasionally in a complete, non-questionable platonic way.

But slowly, for me, he was becoming everything I've ever wanted in a guy, standing right in front of me. But he wasn't mine to have.

And imagine being so close to someone you want except you can't have him because it might just ruin everything you've already shared together. Because what if you scare him away? What if he replies by telling you "No"?

That's the simple nature of falling in love with someone you can't be with.

In our early part of our lives—particularly in our 20s and during our college years, we all experience this type of heartbreak.

To name a few: A high school boyfriend who lives halfway across the country now. The hot guy you sit next to in lecture who already has a girlfriend. The casual hookup who you just can't manage to stop thinking about as you endlessly toss and turn at night. The platonic friend who doesn't quite see you as being something more.

We all at one point in our thoughts have imagined "coupling" or sharing a life with a guy who we can't seem to have for ourselves. We've always dreamt how things could actually work out if you actually shared your feelings with him except the closest we'll ever reach to it is in our dreams, not reality.

And to examine the logic behind why this happens, we have to first admit how we always want what we can't have.

Because it's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

So, it's not really this case of the whole Romeo and Juliet "star-crossed lovers" BS but rather, it's purely a one sided love which can most definitely be beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Beautiful because there's always a connection you feel which makes you all warm and bubbly inside but heartbreaking because you know this connection is merely flowing in a one way track.

So then, why do we tend to maintain our connections with these people who hurt us?

One reason is because you're afraid to lose him altogether. Perhaps you think he's going to go on full freak-out mode after you spill the beans to him. My piece of advice in this scenario would be to just suck it up and take the chance. Talk to him about how you feel because honestly, what's there to lose? Unless you're not reciting some sappy, over-the-top love story about how many kids you plan to have with him, you're fine.

But perhaps, the most common reason is because we assume he might eventually fall in love with us, too.

And if this pertains to you, gear up because I can write on for days about why this is a big no-no. Heck, I can probably teach a class or lecture to all of you about my elaborative theory of why you will definitely know whether a boy truly loves you or not. It's plain and simple—if he loves you, he'll make sure you know.

And you can't force someone to fall in love with you. Even if you pay them a million bucks, you can get them to pretend to love you or force them to be with you—but it's never going to be true love. Because true, unrequited love is effortless. It comes naturally. The fiery passion will be shared mutually and you won't ever have to question whether or not you belong with him.

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