I Still Get Butterflies When I'm With My Boyfriend And That's How It Should Be

I Still Get Butterflies When I'm With My Boyfriend And That's How It Should Be

Yes, we still flirt with each other. No, we will not stop being obsessed with one another.
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In today's ways of dating and relationships, people expect the honeymoon stage to be over in three months. That's the time period when couples are so "madly in love," and when nothing else matters except the two of them. That means that they don't hang out with their friends, they don't go anywhere without their boyfriend or girlfriend, and they can't keep their S.O.'s name out of their mouth.

Although there is some truth to this, the honeymoon stage can last longer, and it doesn't always mean that the boyfriend/girlfriend are attached at the hip. Take me and my boyfriend, for example. We've been together seven months, a short time relative to most college relationships, and although we seem to always be together, we live our own lives, go to our respective jobs, and still have our separate homes.

I overheard a girl in class say, "I never want to be in a relationship where it just feels like the same thing every day." I thought about it. It can't be that bad, right? Wake up next to your S.O. every morning, go to work, come home, have dinner, go to bed with your S.O. and repeat, 365 days a year. For some people, that's how it will be for them. Every day will be a copy of the one before it.

For me, however, my relationship is different, and it has been from the very beginning. We still flirt. Yes, I still get bashful when he calls me beautiful or when he pulls me in close at a party to whisper something inappropriate in my ear.

I love to wink at him from across the room and watch him look around, jokingly making sure it's him that I'm eyeing. We act like we're still trying to win each other over, which keeps the relationship youthful and fun.

There's never a moment that I wake up and doubt that my boyfriend loves me. I can just tell by his smile when I roll over and kiss him on the nose, or when I'm walking to the car and he races to my door just to open it for me.

He brings me flowers on random days, and when I ask why, holding back tears because I'm just a sad, corny sap for things like that, he'll say, "I just haven't done it in a while. You deserve them." I'll constantly gush over how handsome he is when he gets dressed up for work, and I'll take plenty of pictures of him in his bowtie like it's his first day of grade school.

At parties, he'll show me off to his friends and say, "this is my girlfriend" with the biggest smile on his face. I know that his love and happiness is all very genuine, and though most people say that relationships are different behind closed doors, ours is not. What you see is what you get, and I've got the best thing out there.

When you find someone that fills your tummy with butterflies when they walk into a room, or makes your heart skip a beat when they say your name, or take your breath away with every kiss, you know you've found the one.

My advice to anyone in a budding relationship is to flirt. Flirt with your boyfriend/girlfriend like it's the very first time. Keep that playfulness and love in the air. Let the honeymoon stage last your entire relationship and then some. Don't let anyone, especially your single friends, tell you that you're too in love, too whipped, or head over heels.

Being in love with someone who loves you right back is the best feeling there is, and I can promise you that there is nothing better than that.


Cover Image Credit: Elisa Nuñez-Rodriguez

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

8 Qualities That Still Hold Up When Looking For The 'Perfect Guy' In 2019

He hasn't come along yet, but I'll know him when I see him.

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Ah, the mythical "perfect guy." Technically, he doesn't exist.

But there are guys that seem perfect to the people who love them despite their flaws. Over the years, I've compiled a mental list of things I look for in a guy. The list has changed over the years as different things became important to me. It's probably as complex and comprehensive now as it'll ever get, but I can't be sure.

The following are in order of importance, at least for me. Here are the best qualities to look for in a man in 2019:

1. Having strong faith.

This is crucial! I'm Christian, so for me, that means if he's not a Christian, it's a dealbreaker. My morals and beliefs are very strongly linked to my faith in God, and I just can't be with someone who doesn't share that conviction. I wouldn't marry a man who's not a Christian, so why even bother dating one?

"Imagine a man so focused on God that the only reason he looked up to see you is because he heard God say, 'That's her.'"

2. Kind

This is also very important! I've liked guys in the past who had some of the other qualities I looked for I but weren't kind. A relationship without kindness is toxic. Everyone deserves someone who treats them well, but that person should treat everyone well. They shouldn't discriminate with their kindness.

3. Funny

I need a guy who can make me laugh! He also needs to be able to understand my sense of humor, which is mostly sarcasm. I find a lot of things funny: jokes, puns, memes, no matter how seemingly stupid. If you've got those, you're golden.

4. Smart

Intelligence is attractive. It's true. I want a guy who's smart but isn't conceited. He knows he knows a lot but he doesn't think he's better than everyone else. He doesn't have to be a genius. He could be really smart in one subject, or kind of smart in many subjects. I just want him to know a thing or two about a thing or two.

5. Hardworking

My guy needs to be ambitious. He needs to have goals that he works toward. He can't be lazy. I believe that it is primarily the man's duty to financially support his woman. This is most applicable in marriage, but it works in dating relationships, too. I don't want someone who is unable to provide for me. In order to do that, he needs to be able to provide for himself.

6. Cute

You knew I'd get to this! I'm not blind, after all. Trust me, I think it's important for a guy to be attractive. But it's not as important as everything listed above this. I've been told I have weird taste in guys in terms of looks. What I see as cute doesn't always line up with society's definition. The important thing is that I'm attracted to him. Physical attraction is important in a relationship. To be picky: I don't like facial hair or too much muscle. I do like chest hair and back muscles.

7. Creative

This can mean a lot of different things. He could draw, paint, write, sing, play an instrument, etc. As long as it shows that he's inclined to use the right side of his brain. I'm a writer, so I'm naturally more drawn to people who prefer creativity over logic.

8. Interested in Me

Despite being last, this is extremely important! Without this, none of the other things matter. It's just like every other crush I've ever had. Nothing different. Nothing special. While I've been able to find guys who exhibit the first seven qualities, the eighth has been much harder to come by. I've never been in a relationship, so I imagine it will be really wonderful when I eventually find someone who reciprocates my feelings.


Some people may think my standards are too high, but I refuse to lower them. I believe that God has someone out there for me who lives up to these standards and even exceeds them. I just have to be patient and trust His timing.

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The Friend You Like Romantically Doesn't Owe You Anything

The friend-zone can be escaped, but not in the way you might want
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We've all heard the story of the "friend-zone." Boy is in love with his best friend, she dates all the wrong guys and fails to notice how perfect he is, then eventually realizes how wrong she was and they live happily ever after.

I used to think that the friend-zone was a myth that lonely men created to feel better about themselves. But then I got friend-zoned myself.

Yes, it sucked, but the second I realized I had feelings for a friend (that I knew had no such feelings for me), I decided to suppress the feelings. When that wasn't enough, I cut them off for a bit, then, slowly, I felt OK. I could communicate with them without having unwanted romantic feelings pop up. I had escaped the friend-zone.

Having gone through that, I had more sympathy for someone I had to friend-zone a little while later. I had been friends with this guy for a few months. I didn't have many college friends yet and I was really lonely, so having his company really meant a lot at the time.

This caused me to not be able to see what should have been clear: he had a crush on me. When I finally made the realization, I immediately let him know that I didn't feel that way about him. He said it was OK, but I could tell it wasn't.

We didn't talk at all over the summer and when we came back for the fall semester, he would barely look at me. I had started dating his friend, which caused an even bigger rift between us.

Though I understand where he's coming from, I was also really mad at him for a long time.

It was as if he was only nice to me because he wanted romance in return. But people are not vending machines. You can't put in your "nice guy" coins and expect love, sex, or whatever the hell it is you want in return.

It hurt me to know that he only wanted romance and once that was off the table, he no longer wanted anything to do with me.

But then I thought back to the friend that had friend-zoned me. Unrequited affections really suck, especially when they're for someone that you spend a lot of time with. But the key is to work to escape it.

Yes, liking someone you're friends with and them not liking you back is a real thing, but people tend to treat the friend-zone like this mythic hell dimension that can never be escaped. But you can escape. Just maybe not in the way you'd like to.

Now there are three ways you can escape the friend-zone:

The first option is to confess your feelings and try to win them over. Now, this isn't completely unheard of. I've had friends that have dated people who had previously friend-zoned them, but it's extremely rare and risky. You have to risk your entire friendship in order to do this. If it doesn't work out, it could strain the friendship or sometimes break it beyond repair.

You can also do what my ex-friend did and completely cut the person off. If you're being a love-zombie and only doing nice things for the friend because you expect romance in return, leaving the situation might be the most healthy decision for you. I understand now that my friend might have stopped talking to me out of self-preservation. But it still hurts the people involved.

The third and final option is to just get over it. It's harsh, but it's real. Why try something you know is going to fail and cause pain to both sides? Yes, getting over crushes can be really difficult, but getting a normal friendship back rather than being stuck a love-zombie for them is worth the pain.

Whichever one you choose, just remember this: Your friends do not owe you any romantic affection. The work you put into making them happy should just come out of the goodness of your own heart. If you expect romance in return, you're not being a good friend to them. If you really care about them, don't put that kind of pressure on them. They don't want a mindless love-zombie that does their bidding for the hope that they'll get a tiny love kernel out of it. They just want a friend.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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