13 Freshman Year Hookups That Will Make You Cringe By The Time You're A Senior
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13 Freshman Year Hookups That Will Make You Cringe By The Time You're A Senior

And you hope you'll never have some of these again...

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13 Freshman Year Hookups That Will Make You Cringe By The Time You're A Senior
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As young adults with curiosity about ourselves and others, it isn't surprising that a lot of our free time in college is spent experimenting sexually. For most, freshman year hookups, in particular, are the most memorable. You have just gotten your first taste of real freedom and you just go wild with it. So you've probably had your share of awesome (and awful) experiences that might be summed up pretty well below:

1. The guilt trip

So it was your first time going home with a drunk stranger from the bar, which was then followed by your very first "walk of shame" the next morning. You almost don't recognize yourself in the mirror with last night's clothes, makeup, and poor decisions still hanging over you. It takes everything in you not to text your mom as you usually would to tell her about something stupid you did - this adventure might just cross that line you drew in high school, dear.

2. The virgin hookup

Note: there is absolutely nothing shameful about being a virgin, no matter how old you are. But a lot of people lose their virginity in their later college years, if not in freshman year. As a freshman, however, you're much more likely to find yourself in bed with someone who has no clue what they're doing. Hopefully this is only the case for one of you, otherwise, you probably won't have much fun the first time around.

3. Hookup > homework

You're new to the whole college dynamic, so it's only natural for you to have to choose between your responsibilities at first since you're not quite ready to multitask. It's not surprising that your so-called "study session" turned into making out all night and not completing a single problem on the worksheet that's due the next day.

4. The "roommate, interrupted" hookup

So the two of you are stark naked and ready to go to town when Joe comes home earlier than planned and sees more of you than you ever wanted to show him. Oh, right…you live in dorms now that you share with another person…that's why. It's a freshman kind of mistake that you'll take extra care not to make again.

5. The "blast from the past" hookup

Maybe you're on spring break and you've had time to reconnect with your high school flame…or maybe a first-semester heartbreaker has woven their way back into your life. Either way, it's probably such a mistake that you'll be a senior several years from now and STILL cringe every time you think about this day.

6. The "3 a.m., u up?'" hookup

You'll readily die before admitting it to most people…but you really gave that sleazy dude the time of day (or late evening, rather) and responded to his message a bit too eagerly. F*ckboys notoriously prey on freshmen girls because they think they're "easy" - not that that's true, but younger girls usually aren't as well-versed with guys and fall more easily into traps like these.

7. The post-orientation hookup

You were surrounded by all of these new faces and your eyes happened to land on just one guy who's mildly cute. You decided it's time for the "new school, new me" attitude to come into play and you waltzed right up to him and made your intentions very clear. Since he too was trying to up his game fast, he accepted, and you hurried back to the dorms to get it on before the rest of your classmates get back from singing "Kumbaya" in the quad.

8. The DFMO

The DFMO or "dance floor make-out" is crowded, sweaty, dirty, and smelly. But for some reason, to your young mind, there's nothing hotter or more romantic than grinding on your partner in the middle of a mosh pit at that dive bar down the street. Your legs (and maybe other things…) will be killing you later on, but right now, drunk and sloppy kisses and heavy petting are too irresistible to turn down.

9. The older catch

You're a freshman, they're an upperclassman, and "oh my God, I must be the coolest of all of my friends to land an older guy/girl."

10. The frat boy mistake

You swear you'll never do it again. You'll never wander into another party at Sigma Alpha Condom with a friend you'll ditch for that tall, lanky guy milling around by the keg. You'll never let him smooth-talk his way into your heart when all he's trying to do is get laid. You'll never, ever get into bed with a frat boy again…unless he's different from the others.

11. The "I live down the hall" hookup

The same-dorm hookup seems as convenient as it is safe at first. You're in the same building, so you don't need to walk shamefully in the morning back to your place. Not to mention repeat rendezvous are more likely to happen in close proximity. But be warned: you WILL have to see this person again and again, and that can be awkward after a really bad experience.

12. The post-hookup RA visit

So you had a satisfying night with your hottie and you're just about to turn in when you get a knock on your door. It's your RA, and they regret to inform you that your sexual conquest was very clearly audible in all of the rooms on your floor. The humiliation you felt at that moment will never be matched by any other.

13. The socially-awkward grad student

He's a graduate student in his mid-20s with an apartment at the edge of campus - that definitely enticed you in the beginning. But then you came to realize that he's a hot mess who just so happens to be intelligent enough for a higher degree. His relationship smarts are very severely lacking, which you, of course, learned the hard way.

To all incoming college freshmen, I wish you all of the best as you embark on your new journeys. Just remember to be smart, be safe, and to always go with your gut when it comes to deciding whether or not to hook up with someone. You WILL make mistakes, but you sometimes learn more from messing up than you do from always being right.

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