Here's The Truth On How Often College Students Are Having Sex

Thanks to hookup culture and multiple dating apps, it's a huge stereotype that college students are having a bunch of sex. Even if they're in a committed relationship, we still believe that because college kids are young and wild, they're sleeping together whenever they possibly can.

As someone who has frequently written about, thought about and talked about casual sex, I had to ask myself—how often are college students really having sex? Is it more or less than I would expect?

Well, after asking this question to a variety of college students, here are the responses I found.

Actually... I'm a virgin.

This one came as a shock to me. MANY college students who responded to my survey said they were still a virgin! Thinking about the people I know and the stories we share, I was only expecting maybe three or four people who responded to my survey to say they were a virgin, but this was actually much more common! Here's what some of them had to say:

"I'm a virgin and have always been single. Totally okay with that. Sex just seems unnecessary and doesn't always happen for the right reasons." - Female, age 18

"I'm not having sex because I'm committed to being abstinate until I get married for personal and religious reasons. I truly believe that's what's best for me and my future marriage." - Female, age 21

"I'm scared of affection." - Female, age 20

"I've never had sex because I don't know how to put a condom on and I'm honestly just waiting for a good woman to be my first." - Male, age 21

"I'm 23 and still a virgin, so the stereotypes don't apply to everyone." - Female, age 23

"Virginity rocks." - Female, age 19

Um, sometimes.

The number of responses I had that were some variety of "occasionally" dominated my survey. Here is a small sampling:

"I've had a hookup here and there but it's not often." - Female, age 22

"One weekend a month... I make up for the whole month within the weekend." - Female, age 20

"Once a month. I 100% could have sex more with different partners but my heart is still with my ex." - Male, age 22

"At least once a week. Maybe once a weekend." - Female, age 21

When you're an a LDR, it's so much harder.

For some people, distance puts a limit on the amount of sex they can have. Here's what those individuals had to say:

"It's only during every visit aka every three to five months." - Female, age 20

"I don't go to the same school as my boyfriend so we do it a LOT more in the summer than we do in the school year simply because we're together more." - Female, age 20

"I have sex seven times a month. My husband is stationed 800 miles away and I see him a week/month." - Female, age 20

All. The. Damn. Time.

Listen, some people just really love sex, and that's okay!

"I have sex AT LEAST a few times a week. Sometimes seven times a week. Sometimes multiple times a day." - Female, age 21

"One to three times a day. Some days it's more than five times in a day. My partner and I have really high sex drives." - Female, age 22

"Basically every day, but usually twice a day on Saturdays. I like sex." - Female, age 21

Regardless of the number of times you're having sex, the number of partners you have (or don't have), or your sexuality, I think this boss ass babe hit it right on the head with this response:

"If you're doing it safely, using a condom with birth control and regularly getting checked, have as much sex as YOU want. If it makes you happy, seriously do it." - Female, age 21

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hello, I'm 24, And Yes, I'm A Virgin — And Yes, I'll Answer All Of Your Redundant Questions At Once

You read that correctly.


"What? Are you serious?"

"Wait a minute, there is no way you are telling me the truth."

"How are you still a virgin? Are you religious? Are you waiting for marriage? Why haven't you had sex yet? That's just so crazy..."

Welcome to my world.

First, let me introduce myself again. Hi there, my name is Reanna, I'm a 24-year-old writer and also a virgin, how do you do? The first thing in that sentence is the V word, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Now that isn't something I start going and telling people, trust me it's the last thing I want to do. I get bombarded with almost every single question up above and I hate answering it every time. The only time I decide to share it is if someone asks me something along the lines of sex or when I can't offer my opinion.

It's a little-known fact that I tend to hide from people but not anymore. Let the world know, is it's any of their business but guess what? I'm not the only one out there. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm certainly not. What bothers me most is when people start questioning it and looking at me like I'm crazy.

Fine, I'll answer your simple questions above.

Yes, I said I was a virgin. Yes, again, I'm dead serious. I'm telling you the truth, why lie? I'm still a virgin because I choose to be. No, I'm not religious. I don't want to ever get married so I'm not waiting for marriage. Again, I just haven't found the guy to have sex with and it is still my choice. Think it's crazy, just don't judge me.

Sex is sex, what's the big problem here?

If I choose not to sleep with a guy, I have the right to it. I have the right to be a virgin until I decide it is the best time not to be anymore. I already know I shocked you by the title but why should you be so shocked? Is it because most people lose their virginity in high school? Is it usually to their first boyfriend?

Nothing separates me from you.

You don't need to laugh or really comment on the sentence. If I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin. If you are not, then you're not. If you are, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a strange situation to be in when people look at you like you are an alien from a different planet. People get so surprised as if you just said you came from Mars.

Maybe this is my experience but I'm in no rush to have sex.

There comes a day when it may happen but I'm not rushing to find the one so to speak. Until then, I'm glad this is off my chest and I'm glad for you to know that. You know why? Because any guy you tell that to is desperate to change your mind, trust me. If you can't respect it, why should I be the one you sleep with?

So guys here is a complete tip: If a girl tells you she is a virgin, don't act so shocked, don't act so surprised.

Nod your head, respect the choice and move on. It's as simple as that.

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What It's Like Being A 20-Year-Old Virgin In The 21st Century

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Sex. The topic we only spoke of in hushed tones in the past has quickly become a part of our everyday interactions. It seems to be the center of our motivations, thoughts, actions, and feelings. This is the reason I don't feel uncomfortable dedicating this week's article to the subject. Now, mom and dad, if you're reading this, I won't be offended if you stop. I'd actually be quite happy. Everybody else, do me a favor and ask yourself this:

What does it mean to be a virgin in today's society?

There is a social stigma associated with being a virgin. We're all prudes, are mega-religious, and have never even thought about what it would be like to share a night with Ryan Gosling. Right? Wrong. I promise you the majority of virgins you'll meet are virgins by choice - not because their moms have them chained to a metal post with their legs strapped shut. I've been racking my brain about questions and concerns and the million-dollar-question I have for y'all is: If it's no big deal to have sex, then why is it a big deal not to have sex? I mean really, whose business is it anyway?

I feel the criticism from my own doctor at times. She'd ask, "Are you sexually active?" I'd respond with a lightening fast "No", which she'd follow with a quick sigh and an even quicker response, "Have you ever been sexually active?" Unreal.

In a culture so consumed by "Netflix and chill" and the infamous right swipe, it's hard not to constantly wonder when (and with who) my time will come. It's almost like we're racing against the clock of chastity. I wonder if Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, or Amelia Earhart worried about who'd swipe their V-card as much as I do? Probably not, they were too busy making the world a better place.

I can't go a day without hearing about sex, talking about sex, or honestly... thinking about sex (sorry, dad). I remember a time when it was "shocking" to discover anybody was having sex and now it's "shocking" to discover anybody isn't. The reactions I get when people discover I still hold the key to my innocence aren't only mildly insulting but sad. When did it become shameful to be a virgin? I'm only 20 years old. I've only lived 1/4 of my life and in no means do I feel rushed to get down and dirty.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't plan for my life to go this way. Shocker, but my Magic 8-Ball didn't prepare me for this. I am a huge supporter of doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you want to do it with. Hell, half of my friends aren't virgins and I'm happy for them. They were with someone they loved (or at least liked) and made a choice. I've made a choice too. I am evolving with the world around me and taking life one wine bottle at a time. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve. I want somebody who loves me, respects me, and understands where I'm coming from.

I'm prepared to deal with the douchebags and the nobody losers who can't deal with the decision I've made equally as much as I'm prepared to meet the guy who can.

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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