How To Be A Better Kisser

How To Be A Better Kisser

Your guide to lip-locking like a pro


One of the biggest mistakes that young people make in their dating lives is believing that kissing is a one-way ticket to full-blown sex.

On the contrary, kissing is one of the most passionate and intimate acts that you and your partner could engage in. It shouldn't just be a prelude to hurry through so you can get to the main event. Kissing itself should be treated as the physical art form it truly is. And if you're looking to brush up on your lip-locking skills, see the guide below to transform your technique from mediocre to mind-blowing.

Here's how to be a better kisser:

1. Know your partner's preferences

If you're familiar with the person you're kissing, then you should also be familiar with how they like to be kissed. Are there particular moves that you know drive them wild? Definitely experiment the next time you're alone together and get to know how their bodies react to different sensations. Also, rather than fall into a boring routine, play with who gets the dominant role and who gets the submissive role. Or if you're feeling frisky, even battle for that "alpha position."

2. Be mindful of where you are

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How you lock lips should not only match your partner's preferences, but should also depend on where you are and who you're with. There's a time and place for everything, so take in the mood of your surroundings—are you dancing in the middle of a crowded club, or are you having a quiet cup of coffee in a café? Save the waist-grabbing, lip-biting moves for a busier environment where you and your partner will feel less like a focal point. When your company and location is subdued, play it safe with a gentle caress of their lips as you rest your hand on their cheek. Your lover—and the people around you—will thank you.

3. Keep the tongue to a minimum

Orange Is The New Black

Chances are, your partner isn't looking to be licked in the mouth by the human equivalent of a Golden Retriever. So when you want to use your tongue, introduce it gradually as you kiss. You're stronger than you think—be careful not to drill your tongue down your partner's throat. Keep it soft and only slightly wet. Run just the tip of your tongue over your partner's bottom lip, or rub your tongue lightly against theirs if you're looking for a little more passion.

4. Tease, but not too much

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Most everybody loves to be teased a little bit during a sexual encounter. It's a great builder of tension and keeps your partner eager to experience what's to come. But there comes a point where being too tentative and being too light just becomes a buzzkill that neither of you will enjoy. As a general rule, when it comes to kissing, it's all about keeping everything in moderation. So leaning in for a sensual kiss only pull back and letting your hand linger over their waistband while never actually touching them is only cute and playful for a while.

5. Use your eyes

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Most of the time, we tend to kiss with our eyes shut, but why not ignite the spark between you and your lover with a little bit of pre-kiss eye contact? The eyes are the windows to the soul, and using your eyes to convey your emotions can be even sexier than using your voice. So right before your lips touch, gaze deeply into your partner's eyes, stroking their cheek with your fingertips or tucking their hair behind their ear. Then close your eyes and let the rest of your senses take over, which will be more heightened in the absence of sight and leave you feeling breathless.

6. Change up your position

Don't just stand still like a statue as you and your partner lock lips. Add some variety to your romance and consider how positioning yourselves differently could enhance how good the kissing feels. Try pinning your lover to the wall with their wrists above their head for a more dominant approach. Or lie them down gently on the couch or on your bed and move your body in rhythm against theirs. Lift them up on the kitchen counter or on the bathroom sink and have them wrap their legs around your waist. And with all of this, don't forget that clothing isn't always necessary…

7. Add a little sharpness

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Lip-biting is seriously too hot to resist. You will have your partner buckling at the knees with just a little tug on their bottom lip in the middle of a kiss. Pull as hard as they appear to enjoy it, but not too hard! While enthusiasm is key to experiencing great romantic chemistry, nobody wants to come away from a kiss with a bloody lip. So have at it, but keep in mind that promoting pleasure—not pain (unless they're into it)—is your goal.

8. Kiss beyond the lips

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Most people would much rather have their partner's lips stray from theirs to trail along different parts of their body than be kissed only on the lips. So once you're both good and in the mood, let your lips roam from their face to their ears, down their neck, or across their collarbones. Kiss down their spine as you give them a sensual massage. Tickle that area of skin between their belly button and their waistband with light, feathery kisses. Be as innocent or as naughty as the moment calls for.

Honestly, who wouldn't want to be better at kissing? It seriously feels amazing and, with the right person, it can be more sensual and intimate than you ever thought possible.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

How Much Do You REALLY Know About Contracting STDs? Take This Quiz To Test Yourself

Time to find out how much you really know.


I don't care what anyone says, safe sex is better than unprotected sex. There are a ton of myths regarding sex, STDs, and germs. It's time to learn the facts. Be kind to your body and protect it. Be honest with yourself and a partner. Even if it's a one night stand, STDs should be on your mind–don't let it be a turnoff. STDs have been on the rise and "The United States continues to have the highest STD rates in the industrialized world." This is your wake-up call.

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My Parents Didn’t Tell Me To Stay Pure Until Marriage, I Made That Decision On My Own

So, please respect my decision.


As we evolve into a more open and accepting world, the one thing that is getting less taboo is sex. It's not something that is talked about behind closed doors. It's something that is on the television screens and easily accessible on our phones. People talk about it and promote it like it's small talk. It's so hard to escape, especially as a young adult.

To say that I am staying pure until marriage is a very uncommon thing, at least in my opinion. Sure, I have friends who are in the same boat as I am. But, even at a Christian college, sex is everywhere and most people are partaking in it. However, I decided to not.

Growing up, my parents never told me to stay pure until marriage directly. I went to church and heard about it in sermons. I knew that by keeping myself pure until marriage, I would enjoy it more knowing that I waited for my future husband. I understand that some people may not agree with me on this topic, but here's why I am saving myself.

1. I want to know that the man loves me.

For me, I want to have sex with someone that I love. Now, you may defend this with the fact that your boyfriend loves you. That's great. But, dating isn't always a sure thing. Boys (and girls) can say that they love you, just to get in your pants. And, they will. It happens all the time. And, because you are blinded by love, you will end up giving in and doing it. But, see, I don't want to be blinded by love. I want to know that the person I am with, is with me forever. By making the biggest commitment aka marriage, that is a clear sign that they love me and want me forever. This is a good example of actions show more than words do. They can say they love me, but when they showcase that love, that's when I know it is real.

2. I want to give all of me to one person.

I heard this great example my senior year that discusses this exact thing. For someone like Hugh Hefner, who was with HUNDREDS of women, when he got older, he said he didn't feel anything anymore when it came to sex. He was numbed by the whole experience. It wasn't pleasurable or for love. By having sex with countless women, he had given a little part of himself to each of them, until he had nothing left. Therefore, by saving myself for one person, they would be getting all of me. As a whole. 100%. This is special because no one else has that except for my future husband.

3. The idea of getting pregnant scares me because of the lack of security.

For the past three generations in my family, they have all had children young. 15, to 17, to 20 years old. Blinded by love. Manipulated by their hormones. They had sex and got pregnant. To see not only 1 woman, but 3 women in my life go through that, I know how difficult it is. You're a kid yourself. Personally, I do want children. However, I have so many dreams and goals for myself. I want to graduate from college. Get a good career. Travel. Fall in love. A lot of that can be halted by a child. I don't know if I would get to achieve everything I want to, especially if I would have to raise the child alone (which usually happens). So, by waiting for marriage, I am using the biggest form of birth control.

4. There's no comparing, if you have only been with one person.

Now, this is different for every relationship. However, everyone feels insecure or uncomfortable when it comes to dating and relationships. Knowing that someone has had sex prior, you wonder if you are shaping up or doing better than the previous. By only having sex with one person, it relieves the stress of comparison.

5. It brings me closer to God.

One important lesson I have learned from friends, college, and personal experience, is that relationships (when it isn't built on God), you tend to stray away from Him. Therefore, by making my relationship with God stronger, I fall in love with Him first. Then, I am capable of loving a boy and committing to something like marriage and sex.

So, no, my parents never convinced me to stay pure until marriage. It was my own decision. I have reasoning for staying pure and it's my choice. So, please stop shaming virginity in the 21st century, because I'm not shaming you if you aren't one.


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