10 Proven Tactics To Get Over Him, Without Having To Get Under Anybody Else

10 Proven Tactics To Get Over Him, Without Having To Get Under Anybody Else

Because there are better ways to get over a guy than to rely on another guy to fix the heart another guy broke.

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We have all heard the saying, "the best way to get over him, is to get under someone else." The saying heard and told by girls around the world—well at least where I'm from. This might not be a popular opinion, but I believe there are much better, more productive ways to get over an ex, but if you truly believe sleeping with someone else is the best way to get over someone, then be my guest.

The thing is, many things can go wrong by sleeping with someone with the sole purpose to get over some POS you should have never dated in the first place. Sleeping with someone could make you feel worse, it could create a bad habit of relying on other people for your happiness or self-worth, the guy you're sleeping with could catch feelings, YOU could catch feelings, you could bury all of your feelings and never actually heal, or you could get pregnant and die ("Mean Girls" reference—I had to).

So, for those of you going through a breakup, I have some ideas that will keep you from experiencing all of the above.

Here are 10 ways to get over your ex WITHOUT getting under someone else:

1. Start with the basics

Get rid of his t-shirts, throw away that necklace he got you for Valentine's Day, delete those pictures and videos of him off of your phone and please for the love of God unfollow him on Instagram and Twitter. Doing all of these things will help you think of him LESS, and the less you think about him the MORE you move on. Decluttering is key. Bye Felicia!

2. Go on a girls trip

Take that trip! After my last breakup, I went to Austin, TX with my friends. There's nothing that subtly says I'm getting over you like a fun girls trip. It will help you keep things (him) off your mind, and when it's late at night and you've somehow forgotten about all of the reasons you two broke up and can only remember every happy thing that ever happened with him, your girlfriends will be right there to cheer you up.

3. Make a change

Cut your hair! Dye it! Transfer schools! Move! Whatever it is, make a change. The change you've always wanted to do but have been too scared or tied down to do. This is YOUR life now. Take advantage of the independence that comes with being single.

4. Do something you've always wanted to do

Start working out regularly. Craft. Scrapbook. Take a cooking class. Skydive. Nothing and nobody is holding you back. The emotions of heartbreak are overwhelmingly strong. Take those emotions and redirect them toward some sort of passion or hobby. Not only will it distract you, but it will help you move on.

5. Eat your favorite foods

Eat your favorite foods while watching a movie and drinking wine in the comfiest PJ's you own. Who cares how many carbs or calories there are. You have a heart to heal and that is the priority.

6. Spend time outside

Go on a hike on a nearby trail. Take your dog for a walk. Lay out. Whatever it is that keeps you from napping your life away. It'll help get your endorphins pumping, which you definitely need if you're heartbroken.

7. Take a bath

Baths are my favorite. Bring your laptop and a glass of wine so you can binge Netflix while relaxing in a warm bubble bath. It's soothing and you'll love it.

8. Go to a movie by yourself

Who needs a boy to go to your favorite movie? Your ex probably has no taste in movies anyways. Get the popcorn and Dr. Pepper or go all out and get a 21+ seat and order food and drinks while watching the movie he would have NEVER went to see with you.

9. Soul-search

Find yourself. Sometimes a break up can be eye-opening. You may realize you've put a lot of your identity in someone else. That's ok, and it happens all of the time, but before you dive into anything else just be sure you know who you are. And be sure you love who you are before you give your love and accept love from anyone else.

10. And remember, it's always ok to cry

Crying is a great way to release built up emotions. Don't hold it all in, that isn't healthy for anyone. It's a normal part of grieving the love you have lost and there's no shame in it. Cry with your head held high and don't let anyone make you feel bad for how long you take to get over your ex. There's no time limit on how long you're allowed to be heartbroken—take your time.

In the meantime, avoid other people's beds.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

To My Best Friend Dealing With A Broken Heart, We'll Get Through This Together

I can't actually fill that void.

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To my best friend dealing with a broken heart,

It won't last forever.

Your heart, scratch that—you—will heal. You're already strong, but you'll become tougher. You're already smart, but you'll become wiser. You're already sexy, but you'll become even more irresistible.

And I'll be here the entire time. I can't wait to see who you become.

It won't be easy. I'm not going to sugar coat it and say that you'll be smiling and confidently strutting the streets by tomorrow. You have everything you need, but if your heart needs some time, take it. There's no rulebook. Honestly, I don't know how I got out of my rut, but I did and now I'm here. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I cried on end, but my support group–you–helped me through it one day at a time. Don't stress about what other people think—even me, forget my thoughts! Focus on you. What does your body need? What does your soul need?

I'm sorry. I wish I could take away this pain.

There's nothing that can compare to this feeling and I know I can't actually fill that void—no one can, other than you.

You never think it'll happen to you.

You had the future planned out. You shared your deepest darkest secrets. You both shared, I love you's and genuinely meant it. Of course, there were happy times. It was all real. I won't bash your ex unless you need me to (personally, I cringe anytime someone speaks badly of my ex... at the end of the day, I loved that man) but, just know, you did everything you could.

It wasn't meant to be and, one day, you will find your happily ever after. That love will be greater than anything you can ever imagine.

I'm not going to sit here and let you mope. The memories will never fade, but at this moment, forget about the past and the future, only the now. If you are angry, punch a wall, but steer away from feeling regret. Nothing in life is worth regretting over. It is all lessons-learned and adventures to remember later on.

This will pass and you will laugh about it. When I heard that for the first time, I wanted to scream, I could never laugh at the situation, but here I am now. You lost someone and that's never easy, but you've also gained so much experience.

You are gorgeous and breathtaking, you better start believing it because anyone would be so lucky to have you in their life.

Today, you start loving yourself.

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I Chose My College Because Of My Then-Boyfriend—We Broke Up, And Somehow I Have No Regrets

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

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When you graduate high school while in a relationship, things can get a little tricky. If you're not from a college town or if you don't plan on attending the one near you, you're faced with some pretty big questions.

Is the relationship worth it? Can we do the whole "long distance" thing? How will it work?

Three years ago, I faced these questions with some uncertainty. My plan had always been to go out-of-state for college, to attend the big university of my dreams. I had applied there, and I even got accepted to enroll. It was a pretty big deal to me to achieve even a fraction of what I had dreamed of for so many years.

However, I had a boyfriend. It was a pretty serious one, since we'd been together for a couple years before I graduated high school. He was older, already in college. He came home pretty often since the college he attended wasn't horribly far from our hometown and we made it work.

When I got accepted to that far away college, things got uncomfortable. It was pretty obvious that he didn't want me to go there and wasn't a big fan of the thought of being a long distance couple. So, I compromised. I chose to apply to a college just under an hour away from our hometown, similar to what he did, so that we could continue to date. We were serious about each other, so I figured it was a sacrifice I could make for the long run. I wanted to make him happier by staying close by.

That didn't really work, though. Our personalities were painfully different, but this was only really highlighted in a negative way when I moved away. I was outgoing, involved, and loved to make friends. He was pretty much the opposite, and being older than me, he wasn't very interested in doing the things I wanted to do. He would come up to visit, but never wanted to interact with any of my friends or really do anything exciting at all besides sit in my dorm.

For the first two or so years that I was in college, we fought constantly. I didn't come home enough, I was too busy, and I was friends with people he wasn't fond of. I had a job, I was in a sorority, and I was involved in several other clubs, so my time was spread pretty thin. On the weekends, I would go out to parties totally sober for my friends but I'd get yelled at for being there at all. All of my actions were policed as if he was a father instead of a boyfriend. I was miserable.

I was afraid to talk about it publicly, but my friends knew how miserable I was and that the love had been gone for a long time. I was stuck at this university that I didn't really care about, that was too close to home for me to really feel like I had even left the nest at all.

After nearly two years of misery, I finally left that relationship. It pissed a lot of people off, especially the people back home who were friends with both of us. But they didn't know everything, just one side. That's OK, though. I really didn't care, because I was finally taking my life back.

I may have chosen to attend my university because it was closer to a boyfriend back home, but I love it even more now than when I started. I was able to become involved in campus activities and organizations without feeling guilty anymore. I was able to hang out with friends without being yelled at and tracked like a dog. I was able to enter a new relationship that was healthy, loving, and bettered my mental well-being instead of hurting it.

I've been able to fall in love with my campus all over again. It may be close to home and people I don't really care about anymore, but if I had gone out-of-state or anywhere else, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't be in my sorority, or in my current relationship. I wouldn't be the best version of myself that I've seen to date. I wouldn't be this strong woman who finally learned her worth.

I used to regret my decision to attend the college that I do, but I don't anymore. It's my home, and no one can take that away from me. Thanks to my university, I've been given opportunities to grow as a leader, as a student, and as a person. I'm not the person I was in high school three years ago, that's for damn sure, and I couldn't be happier about that.

I don't necessarily think everything happens for a reason, but I do think that choosing the college that I did was a pivotal moment in my life. My high school relationship might not have worked out, and sure, college was a factor, but I'm glad that it didn't. My life is mine now, and so is my college experience.

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