19 Things You Can ACTUALLY Do To Have Better, More Meaningful Sex With Your Partner
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We're always looking for ways to improve our relationships and to make sure the spark doesn't go out, especially in bed. However, we often don't know what steps to take in order to achieve this. Here are 19 things you can do to spice it up, both in the bedroom and out of it, whether you've been together for two months or 20 years.

1. Take some time for yourself 

Get to know yourself; the baggage you bring into the relationship, what you like and don't like in bed, and what needs you need to be met. If you know what you want then you can move on to step 2.

2. Communicate openly

We hear it all the time: communication is the key to a healthy relationship. But it really is true. Instead of complaining to your best friend when your partner does something to annoy you, talk to them. Something they do in bed that you can't stand? Let them know. Something new you want to try? You'll never know unless you ask.

3. Increase the intimacy

Even the littlest things can be a major turn on. Rub their shoulders, scratch their backs, hold their hands, kiss them without expecting that it's going to lead to sex. Non-sexual intimacy and touching can be an amazing step to getting closer to one another, even with your clothes on.

4. Get away together 

Go on a quick trip, whether it's driving distance away or you decide to take a plane. Or even book an Airbnb a city over for the night. Getting out of your normal environment (especially if the new environment has a hot tub) can be a refreshing change for a relationship that's gotten caught up in routine.

5. Get away from each other sometimes too 

Every once in a while I notice that I need a quick 24 hour break from my boyfriend just to collect myself, run some errands, do laundry, and take care of anything else I've been neglecting. That quick reset period where we're not focused on each other and can take some time for ourselves works wonders for keeping us happy.

6. Ease into things 

Especially if you have all night and there's no fear of anyone walking in or being interrupted, take things nice and slow. Focus on foreplay and notice how their body responds. Sex should be an intimate experience, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.

7. Seriously, communicate... even if it's in the middle of sex

Rather than pretend to enjoy something, say "Can I walk you through it? Put your mouth here and your hands there and when I do that, respond like this." This goes right back to knowing what you want and as long as you do, you can communicate that with your partner to make the whole experience more pleasurable for the both of you.

Even if it's not sex-related, if something comes up in the middle of sex, don't be afraid to say it out loud. Sometimes I think of something funny that happened that day, share it, and move on. It works better and lets you laugh instead of just being distracted by it the rest of the time.

8. Spend time together outside of the bedroom

Go on dates, grab food, drive places. Get to know each other on a deeper personal level. Know about their family and their interests, their goals and their passions. Knowing that you're dating and sleeping with a real, fully-rounded person makes the experience even more meaningful.

9. Embrace your own flaws 

Your partner has probably never thought negatively about the parts of your body you don't like. If they weren't attracted to you, they wouldn't be having sex with you. Learn how to come to terms with your flaws, which you can do by talking about them ("I don't want to do that position because I think I'm too fat for it") or just to ignore them and do what you want in bed, body size be damned.

10. Unplug

There's nothing more annoying than when my boyfriend's phone rings when we're on a nice date or, even worse, during sex. Turn off the ringer or, even better, leave the phones somewhere else entirely. Be fully present on the person and the moment.

11. Don't be afraid to take breaks 

If something doesn't feel right or you need to eat or use the bathroom or they're just taking way too long, don't be afraid to call it quits. Sex that you're not both fully enjoying isn't something that should be happening in a relationship and creates animosity and other negative consequences. You can always go for round two when you're both feeling up for it and hey, there's always tomorrow.

12. Do something special for your partner

Whether it's shaving your legs or giving them oral or buying their favorite snack for a post-sex treat, remind your partner that you care about them, even if it means by doing something you don't want to do all the time.

13. Shake things up 

Whether it's a new sex toy or playing with different fantasies, trying something new in the bedroom can be game-changing. And hey, if it's not something you both enjoy, it can be a once-in-a-while sort of thing or you never have to try it again

14. Don't make orgasms the goal

While it's great if both people get to finish every time, it's not a realistic expectation. There will be times when only one or neither of you finish but that doesn't mean the sex wasn't successful. As long as enjoyment and not necessarily orgasms is the goal, the sex will be great.

15. Don't force it

If a certain position doesn't work for your body types or you hate something your partner does in bed or you just can't get off a certain way, stop trying. It's a serious mood killer when something continuously doesn't work. Get back into a routine you know works for both of you or try something new but don't get caught up on the things that don't do it for you.

16. Make sex a priority

There will be days when you're too tired or too busy or just simply not in the mood but sex is of ten what sets apart romantic and platonic relationships. If you want to have better sex, that starts with actually having sex.

17. Ask your partner what they like and what they need 

Often called "erotic love maps", these include questions like

What felt good about sex last time?

  • What did we do that caused you to feel closer and connected to me?
  • What did we do that made you relax?
  • What did we do that turned you on?

What do you need to make sex better for you?

  • What do you need to feel in the mood for sex?
  • What makes sex more like lovemaking for you?
  • What are fantasies or thoughts you have during sex?

18. Be appreciative 

Both in and out of the bedroom, if your partner does something that you appreciate, especially if it's unexpected, take a quick second to thank them

19. Say "I Love You" 

There's a reason why we assign so much meaning to those three little words. Saying them just because (when you're ready, of course) can be a really powerful way to increase intimacy. Making sure you say them enough if you've been together for a while is also super important.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

23 Guys Admit The Type Of Sexts They’d Actually Like To Receive

I don't even know where to begin.

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There are firsts for everything and it's your time to play around with sexting and phone sex. It may feel intimidating, silly, or embarrassing having to be on your toes to figure out a clever, sultry response, but don't overanalyze it. Just type what your body craves.

Be daring and take the leap to send the first sext. Once the mood is set, you're good to go and even if you're stuck, take all the time you need to send a reply—you're texting, after all.

If you're not exactly sure what to say, here are 23 responses from guys on what they'd actually like to receive:

1. This isn't porn

"I wish I received sexts that were real. Not this fake 'build a fantasy that is like porn' stuff. I just wish they were showing they wanted me. I wish they weren't the stereotypical sexts that you could find in any fan fiction or raunchy teen novel. That makes the mood vanish and I feel like they don't actually want me and just need to get off" – age 19

2. Boobs, boobies, tatas, tits, the twins

"Hey big chungus ;)) you sexy bae" – age 21

3. Abs-olutely

"Maybe an abs pic, but that's it" – age 19

4. No fun

"None" – age 18

5. It's all about the climb

"I prefer sexting that builds up: cute flirting that takes a turn. I have never really been a fan of unexpected nudes, they're cool every so often but can be inappropriate at the wrong times. If I am playing back, then go for it, but if it's out of the blue, it will be appreciated but not as much as girls may think" – age 20

6. You're on my mind

"Random dick pics without context can be kinda jarring. Honestly, I'd be happy with a shirtless pic. Or a video of him masturbating with a 'thinking of you message'" – age 21

7. Remember "Titanic"

"I want you to draw me like one of your French girls" – age 23

8. This makes me uncomfortable

"Clever shit that makes your pussy pop" - age 19

9. All of the toes or just one?

"My greatest desire is to receive some toe sexts" – age 18

10. I feel like I have to apologize to this guy

"None. Literally none. Get off your fucking phone and go talk to someone and maybe actually have some sort of physical contact for a change" – age 19

11. This guy knows what's up

"Consensual" – age 21

12. The vulva?

"Yoni" – age 21

13. Bringing the fire to the table

"It's not what you say but the energy you bring to the table. People like different things. What's important is bringing energy, passion, lust to the sext. Don't say, 'I'd like that' or 'That's hot.' Say, 'I really fucking want that right now.' Same message different intensity" – age 20

14. And the special sauce?

"I have Chick-fil-A for you" – age 22

15. Gym bro

"I want to go to the gym with you and do the hardest, longest workout you've ever done" – age 23

16. He knows what he wants

"1. Your dinner will be on the bed when you get home. Don't keep me waiting. 2. Fill me up tonight. All my entrances are yours to play with my love. 3. Can't wait to taste you tonight. 4. I found a cute couple for us to play with later. You will love her ass." – age 28

17.  Everyone loves a good butt

"Booty pics! Also of bodies and chests." – age 18

18. When did 'daddy' become mainstream?

"I want you inside me, daddy and I want you to cum all over me." – age 17

19. Anything goes

"I don't really care, anything under the sun. Butt pics are nice tbh lol." – age 20

20. Exquisite taste

"A suggestive nude with melted chocolate dripping down her body and sliced strawberries on her nipple with a condensed milk drizzle." – age 22

21. The perfect pair

"I wrote you a love letter and bought you McDonalds nuggets, I'm on my way." – age 18

22. Words > pictures

"Flirty but not vulgar, and especially no photos." – age 19

23.  I was bound to get one of these

"Send nudes." – age 18

These responses have been lightly edited for length or clarity.

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14 Hookup No-No's Girls Do That Will Have Guys Missing Their Own Hand

College guys get real about what they don't like when it comes to hooking up on campus.

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When it comes to complaining, guys usually don't have any negatives about getting laid, but after speaking with different guys on college campuses, they shared a few gripes about sex.

Here are 14 different guys' least favorite thing about sex:

1. Using too much teeth

"Sex is too good to have something to complain about, but I hate when a girl uses too much teeth." - 22, single

Ever bitten your own tongue? The pain that hits you feels like hell and you ask yourself why it even happened. Imagine that frustration while having sex. No dude wants to feel your sharp teeth chiseling away at his penis.

"Shit feels like sandpaper rubbing against your tip. It just hurts." - 19, single

2. When there is little effort given

"If y'all don't want to have sex, then don't do it. I can tell when you're half-assing it because I'm not having fun." - 21, single

You don't turn in a paper half-written, and you don't send text messages without words. So, don't put in half the effort when you're getting it on. If you're not into it, neither will he.

"Girls get your hopes up talking all big, then when it's time to step up and show me what she can do, she doesn't." - 21, single

3. The ending

"I don't know who can complain about sex, if you can, then I don't what kind of sex you're having." - 22, single

Hey Alexa, play" Moment 4 Life" by Nicki Minaj.

It's simple, men like sex and if there was a replay button for their favorite moments during sex, then the button would be worn thin.

4. Dry head

"Not all girls know how to get sloppy with it, they don't use enough spit." - 20, single

Cotton mouth isn't cute. There is no way either parties can enjoy the moment because one person's mouth is as dry as the Sahara Desert and the other person is dealing with the friction.

5. The clean up

"You have to do laundry in the middle of the night because you're all sweaty and the sheets are dirty, but you just want to go to bed." - 20, single

You are exhausted and all ready for bed, but now you have to get up and do laundry because of the mess that has been made. You enjoyed it while it last, but now it's back to reality.

6. Being quiet

"I feel bored, I need you to make noise or I'm going to feel like I'm doing something bad." - 20, single

You don't go to a concert and stand in silence so don't hold back during sex. Let out everything your feeling and let him know he is doing everything right.

7. The smell of latex condoms

"They smell like burnt ass rubber and like Auto Zone." - 19, single

You're riding the wave and next thing you know a whiff of chemicals blows across your nose. Having sex is an organic moment between two parties, sometimes the smell of condoms are distracting and take away from the pleasure.

8. Wearing protection

"Condoms don't feel good, they take out the feeling." - 20, single

It's more fun when he can feel everything inside. They want to take in the entire experience, from feeling, to taste, and even smell. Without feeling comes less sensation and even less satisfaction.

SEE ALSO: 8 Excuses To Use To Get Out Of Wearing A Condom

9. Being the main force for thrusting

"We're the ones who have to do all the thrusting, forward-back, forward-back, shit we get tired too." - 20, single

Next time ladies when you think you're putting in all the work, remember, the guy is the main one who has to constantly thrust and do it at a pace you enjoy.

10. Overextending your stay

"You came over for one thing, the M.O. (main objective) is completed, so you need to go." - 19, single

You don't have to go home, but you have to get out of his house. If you know you're a one night stand, don't expect it to be like a scene off of "Pretty Woman." As much as you don't want to do the walk of shame, he does not want you there.

11. Timing when to pull out

"There's always that moment when you got to think 'did I pull out?'" - 20, single

You know when you are popping a bag of popcorn and you don't want it to burn, but you also want to make sure you don't leave too many kernels, so now you have to end the microwave at just the right moment. Men have to enjoy the climax as long as they can before the tiny baby making sperm decide to change location.

12. Finding out the squad already smashed

"If she follows more than five of my teammates, issa no for me dog." - 19, single

Guys don't feel special when they know you have already smashed all of their friends. No one wants a homie hopper.

"I don't like sharing females." - 21, single

13. If she leaves any clothing on

"I understand if you're a little self-conscious, but if I want to fuck you then I'm already cool with your body." - 21, single

Guys don't see your body the way you do. You have something he wants and he could care less about your insecurities. No guy is going to pick apart your body after they have already gotten you undressed.

"I'm already hard, so I don't care." - 20, single

14. Having to take her home 

"I have to give you this work and now I have to take you home, yeah I can't stand having to do that." - 19, single

After a hookup, the last thing you want to do is have an awkward car ride home. All you can think about is the nasty stuff you just did, and have nothing to say.

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