17 Things Your Anxious Girlfriend Wants To Hear, None Of Which Are 'Just Relax'
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If your girlfriend is hyperventilating, balling her eyes out, sitting in silence, biting her nails, constantly questioning everything, you better not dare ask her to relax.

And if you do, best wishes to you.

Telling your beautiful, anxious mess of a lady to just calm down, will only make matters worse. She will start ruminating about how she is so anxious, how she can't stop, how she may be judged, yada yada yada—it's just a loophole of negativity and constant overthinking. Instead, tuck her into bed with her anxiety blanket that smells like lavender. Bury her in kisses until she can't help but giggle. Uplift her with motivating words.

Anxiety is not logical, don't try to make sense of it.

That's the most influential advice I can give. You may not understand her worries, but no one is asking you to understand. We would all just be banging our heads if we tried to comprehend the rationale behind anxiety.

You know your girlfriend best. What kind of support does she need when nothing else seems to be working in her life? What kind of support would you want to hear if you were troubled by life? Whether your girlfriend suffers from anxiety or has just been having a hard day, week, month, year, she needs your shoulder to cry on.

Everyone has their own opinion on what they need to hear or rather what they are repelled by. Personally, I never feel better when someone says, "It's normal, everyone gets anxious." I have my own individualized fear. It's true that other people have similar feelings, but, at the moment, I'm solely concerned about my distinctive troubles. Yet, some people like to hear that others feel the same way–dealing with personal anxiety is in itself, different for everyone.

But, no fret, there are universal comments that will help you stay calm and, more importantly, will relieve her insecurities.

Here's what to say to your girlfriend with anxiety:

1. "You aren't stupid and neither are your emotions."

Validate her emotions and the way she is feeling. Her worries may not be logical, they may have no base, they may be small or tremendous, but they are her true, genuine feelings! That is not foolish. You can't take that away from a person. So, acknowledge that you understand that she is feeling some sort of way and that it's alright—emotions aren't silly! Her anxieties may be racking her mind and creating tremendous pain. Don't let her throw them under the carpet. No, stand up to them and delve through the shit.

2. "I love you no matter what."

Keep it simple. The three-letter-word, "I love you," has powers like no other assurances.

3. "We're in this together."

Remind her that she isn't alone. It's not her problem. It's both of your problems that you will solve together.

4. "Let's watch something funny."

Or tell a joke. Or act silly. Or... do anything to make her laugh! Laughing is truly the best medicine. I'm thankful for my "anxiety boyfriend" who always knows the perfect dog or baby or, better yet, dog and baby DM that'll ensure my three-mile-smile.

5. "Is there anything I can do? And if not, I'll just be here."

If she has a tendency to worry, talking about it may be too overwhelming. Having you scurry around the room trying to do things for her may be too much to handle. Alternatively, be patient and just ask her what she needs. If there is nothing you can do, just being there, listening, and giving her time will be doing everything.

6. Say something distracting

Distraction is one of the coping methods for anxiety. Help her out by drawing her away from the troubled thoughts by uttering something ridiculous.

7. "You can't control it."

She can't just miraculously calm down. She can't just let go of the tumultuous sentiments. She can't entirely control her anxiety and that's okay. Remind her that it'll be alright. There are ways to manage unease and she can feel better.

8. "You are strong"

Refrain from cliche sayings, advice, inspirations, be real. And, reality is, she is strong. As human beings, we are durable, brave, and ready to take on every battle. Don't let her forget her resilience.

9. "Do you want a hug?"

From time to time, feeling a warm embrace from a loved one is all that one needs to feel secure.

10.  "Let's just cry it out."

Grab some tissues and let her cry all the angst out. Snot and all. At the end of the crying fest, her body, mind, and soul will feel at least a little bit more at ease.

11.  "You can talk to me."

Let her know that you are there for her and ready to listen. If you feel like she needs guidance from a professional, kindly motivate her to see a therapist or psychiatrist. There is no shame in therapy, medication, and reaching out for help.

12.  "I believe in you."

She may not believe in herself, but hearing that you have faith in her, will strengthen her personal confidence.

13.  "Let's breathe."

I think this is better than saying, "just breathe" because whereas the former statement can seem offputting, abrupt, and mechanical, saying, "let's breathe" focuses on the communal behavior of finding peace within one's own body and breathwork.

14.  "Let's shake it out and dance."

Start shaking that booty becuase I want to see your happy dance! It works for Dr. Meredith Grey, so it's bound to work for your girl.

15.  "Let's go on an adventure."

Hop in the car and just drive.

16.  "Name three things you see."

Conspiracy theories are just that, theories. Focus on reality and bring her back to the present moment by asking her to name three things she sees, hears, and feels.

17.  "I'm here."

I always stand by the little things, remarks, and meanings. Staying simple and to the point can express more than any extravagant action.

Rember to focus on her. Ask if she needs anything or if she just wants you to listen or if she just wants to sit in silence.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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It’s Harder FINDING Someone Who Wants To Be In A Relationship Than Actually Being In One

Oh millennials, we have made a mess of the dating scene...

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I got super lucky once.

I wasn't looking for a guy, but I happened to find the exact one who wanted a long relationship. It's always when you least suspect it, isn't it? I'm newly single, but not quite ready to mingle.

Sure, there are plenty of new fish in the sea, but even they aren't sure if they are ready to sink or swim yet.

No, it doesn't have to be hard to have a relationship. I did long-distance on-and-off for four years, but we pushed through it because we cared about the relationship.

People can make it really tough on themselves to find that perfect person. It makes sense, we all want the right person that fits all of our needs and checks all of our boxes. But I think we as a society are a little more flawed than that. We also have needs of our own and those needs can really get in the way of our time together.

Say you find a person you could see yourself really being with. They will be there for your crying sessions, when you fail a test, when a loved one dies. But will they be there to also lift you up in your darkest moments and laugh together at every free moment? It seems a lot to ask of somebody, but in reality, it's just living.

Avril Lavigne was right, "why do you have to go and makes things so complicated?" In the long run, you'll always be upset if you keep up a checklist that no one can master. I'm finding out myself that not everyone is able to fulfill the basic requirements of a fun loving and easygoing boyfriend, but there is hope that one day, someone will.

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