17 Things Your Anxious Girlfriend Wants To Hear, None Of Which Are 'Just Relax'
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If your girlfriend is hyperventilating, balling her eyes out, sitting in silence, biting her nails, constantly questioning everything, you better not dare ask her to relax.

And if you do, best wishes to you.

Telling your beautiful, anxious mess of a lady to just calm down, will only make matters worse. She will start ruminating about how she is so anxious, how she can't stop, how she may be judged, yada yada yada—it's just a loophole of negativity and constant overthinking. Instead, tuck her into bed with her anxiety blanket that smells like lavender. Bury her in kisses until she can't help but giggle. Uplift her with motivating words.

Anxiety is not logical, don't try to make sense of it.

That's the most influential advice I can give. You may not understand her worries, but no one is asking you to understand. We would all just be banging our heads if we tried to comprehend the rationale behind anxiety.

You know your girlfriend best. What kind of support does she need when nothing else seems to be working in her life? What kind of support would you want to hear if you were troubled by life? Whether your girlfriend suffers from anxiety or has just been having a hard day, week, month, year, she needs your shoulder to cry on.

Everyone has their own opinion on what they need to hear or rather what they are repelled by. Personally, I never feel better when someone says, "It's normal, everyone gets anxious." I have my own individualized fear. It's true that other people have similar feelings, but, at the moment, I'm solely concerned about my distinctive troubles. Yet, some people like to hear that others feel the same way–dealing with personal anxiety is in itself, different for everyone.

But, no fret, there are universal comments that will help you stay calm and, more importantly, will relieve her insecurities.

Here's what to say to your girlfriend with anxiety:

1. "You aren't stupid and neither are your emotions."

Validate her emotions and the way she is feeling. Her worries may not be logical, they may have no base, they may be small or tremendous, but they are her true, genuine feelings! That is not foolish. You can't take that away from a person. So, acknowledge that you understand that she is feeling some sort of way and that it's alright—emotions aren't silly! Her anxieties may be racking her mind and creating tremendous pain. Don't let her throw them under the carpet. No, stand up to them and delve through the shit.

2. "I love you no matter what."

Keep it simple. The three-letter-word, "I love you," has powers like no other assurances.

3. "We're in this together."

Remind her that she isn't alone. It's not her problem. It's both of your problems that you will solve together.

4. "Let's watch something funny."

Or tell a joke. Or act silly. Or... do anything to make her laugh! Laughing is truly the best medicine. I'm thankful for my "anxiety boyfriend" who always knows the perfect dog or baby or, better yet, dog and baby DM that'll ensure my three-mile-smile.

5. "Is there anything I can do? And if not, I'll just be here."

If she has a tendency to worry, talking about it may be too overwhelming. Having you scurry around the room trying to do things for her may be too much to handle. Alternatively, be patient and just ask her what she needs. If there is nothing you can do, just being there, listening, and giving her time will be doing everything.

6. Say something distracting

Distraction is one of the coping methods for anxiety. Help her out by drawing her away from the troubled thoughts by uttering something ridiculous.

7. "You can't control it."

She can't just miraculously calm down. She can't just let go of the tumultuous sentiments. She can't entirely control her anxiety and that's okay. Remind her that it'll be alright. There are ways to manage unease and she can feel better.

8. "You are strong"

Refrain from cliche sayings, advice, inspirations, be real. And, reality is, she is strong. As human beings, we are durable, brave, and ready to take on every battle. Don't let her forget her resilience.

9. "Do you want a hug?"

From time to time, feeling a warm embrace from a loved one is all that one needs to feel secure.

10.  "Let's just cry it out."

Grab some tissues and let her cry all the angst out. Snot and all. At the end of the crying fest, her body, mind, and soul will feel at least a little bit more at ease.

11.  "You can talk to me."

Let her know that you are there for her and ready to listen. If you feel like she needs guidance from a professional, kindly motivate her to see a therapist or psychiatrist. There is no shame in therapy, medication, and reaching out for help.

12.  "I believe in you."

She may not believe in herself, but hearing that you have faith in her, will strengthen her personal confidence.

13.  "Let's breathe."

I think this is better than saying, "just breathe" because whereas the former statement can seem offputting, abrupt, and mechanical, saying, "let's breathe" focuses on the communal behavior of finding peace within one's own body and breathwork.

14.  "Let's shake it out and dance."

Start shaking that booty becuase I want to see your happy dance! It works for Dr. Meredith Grey, so it's bound to work for your girl.

15.  "Let's go on an adventure."

Hop in the car and just drive.

16.  "Name three things you see."

Conspiracy theories are just that, theories. Focus on reality and bring her back to the present moment by asking her to name three things she sees, hears, and feels.

17.  "I'm here."

I always stand by the little things, remarks, and meanings. Staying simple and to the point can express more than any extravagant action.

Rember to focus on her. Ask if she needs anything or if she just wants you to listen or if she just wants to sit in silence.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

My Boyfriend Is Deaf, But He's Still A Great Listener

This is what dating my deaf boyfriend has taught me.

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I have heard countless complaints over the years resembling the statement, "My boyfriend is a terrible listener."

Women say this simply to describe how irritating it is when their boyfriends zone out as they are talking about their day or when they simply stare off into space as they try and ask whether they wanna order pizza or Chinese. They may use phrases such as "selective hearing" or compare the likeness of talking to their boyfriend to "talking to a wall."

I must say that I can relate to these women but in a much different way.

My boyfriend is deaf.

I have to say that my boyfriend's deafness has never once been a roadblock for me. If anything, it made me more interested in him. I had zero experience when it came to his deafness. I had many misconceptions of his hearing ability in the beginning. But, overall, it was something that just increased my interest in this kind-hearted, goofy guy. As I started to date this person that sometimes can't help but not listen to me, I realized that his deafness had zero effect on how much I cared for him and how well we worked together.

Unlike some other members of the deaf community, my boyfriend has two cochlear implants. Fun fact: cochlear implants are actually frowned upon throughout the deaf community a lot of times. They are said to remove the individuality that comes with the deaf community and its members. However, and I will admit I am biased, I do not agree and neither does my boyfriend. Cochlear implants assist him in living his life, but that does not mean that every deaf person needs or wants them to live theirs—which is OK. They benefit this person that is very important to me, and that is all that matters in my mind.

While all cases of deafness and implant-users are unique to the individual, my boyfriend had his first implant surgery when he was just 2-years-old. Then, his second when he was 10. I knew cochlear implants existed before I met him, but I had no idea how they worked, which was soon very apparent to myself and him.

Gabby Sheets

So, basically in the simplest terms possible, there are two magnetic receivers implanted in his skull. Then, there is the outer part that holds a circular magnet, a transmitter, and a microphone that magnetizes through his skull and to his actual implant. This, somehow, gives him the ability to hear, and to be fully honest I do not understand how they work. I probably never will. All I know is that he can hear me, which I did not know would necessarily be the case when we first met...

Gabby Sheets

When we first started going out with each other, I definitely had many misconceptions about my boyfriend's hearing, misconceptions that he will tease me about to this day. For example, I thought that I had to look directly at him whenever I spoke. My mistaken logic was that he would have to read my lips in order to understand me. False. Wrong. His implants allow him to hear exactly what I am saying the majority of the time, depending on if he actually is paying attention and how loud I am talking. He can, however, read lips though, which he has to do any time he is not wearing his implants, or like when I knock them out of his head on accident... Woops.

I also, at first, had this hilarious belief that he wouldn't be able to talk to me on the phone. I thought this even after I knew he could hear me in person with practically zero difficulties. It wasn't until he was over at my place visiting me, and I came out of my room to see that he was talking to his mom. On the phone. Because he can, perfectly well. To this day, I cannot explain why I thought he wouldn't be able to speak on the phone. It was my stupid, stupid mistake, and my boyfriend still finds my naivete when it came to his hearing oh so amusing.

All of this comes to show that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I have confessed to my boyfriend that I was self-conscious at times, simply because I didn't understand. I was terrified to ask the wrong questions and upset him, but then I came to find out that he makes deaf jokes that make me cringe, not him. I was afraid of yanking one of his implants out of his head on accident. I have multiple times now, and it has never once been a big deal. I was self-conscious about hitting a nerve, about something that not only impairs his hearing but his life as a whole.

There was one night, at the beginning of our relationship, where we just sat asking each other questions as new couples commonly do. The question was, "What is your biggest insecurity?"

His answer was his hearing. My answer was my body.

I discovered that there are always times where he will feel insecure because he isn't able to hear like everyone else. However, I love the fact that he isn't like everyone else. I sincerely hope that he realizes that.

But no, I will never be able to truly understand what it is like to be deaf, to have this life-changing impairment, and that's OK.

What I do know is that by dating my boyfriend I have learned this—everybody is insecure about something. Some are insecure about something as superficial as their looks like I am. Then some are insecure about something that affects their entire life, such as my boyfriend with his hearing. It has occurred to me that if my boyfriend can overcome something as life-altering as his deafness then I can overcome body insecurity and many other obstacles in my life now, thanks to him.

I have never met a guy as willing to listen to me and my minuscule problems as my boyfriend. I have never experienced problems in my life as severe as his deafness, but he always makes my problems, thoughts, insecurities, etc. feel validated. He is understanding and considerate. He is reassuring and has a heart of gold, and I continue to be amazed by him each day that we spend together.

So, yes, my boyfriend is deaf, but he most definitely is not a terrible listener. Not at all.

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The 7 Best Restaurants For Valentine's Day Dates In Springfield, Missouri

No matter what you and your date are feeling, the Queen City has something for you.

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Love may be in the air, but so are the smells of some delicious restaurants. Springfield, Missouri is a place I have been lucky to call home for the past three years. And it's full of restaurants of all varieties, perfect for any Valentine—even the pickiest of eaters.

From casual dining to the finer side, Springfield has what you're looking for. By knowing some options besides Olive Garden, you can add a little variety to your dining experience and ensure a happy and romantic evening.

Take a look, build your appetite, and make your reservations early (if you can) so you can treat your date to the evening they deserve.

1. Aviary Cafe & Creperie

The Aviary Cafe is a Springfield favorite. This restaurant is open late, has a full bar, and serves sweet and savory crepes along with other traditional bistro items. The Aviary allows you to make reservations for Valentine's Day and even has a unique menu specifically for the holiday, which includes a pan-seared pork chop, pommes frites, and New York cheesecake made fresh in the bakery.

2. Flame Steakhouse

Flame is a great place to go for a more upscale and expensive Valentine's Day dinner if you're in the mood to wine and dine your date. Rated three dollar signs our of four on Yelp, this steakhouse and wine bar has everything from Alaskan King Crab legs to fresh flash-fried calamari to a dry aged 24 oz Porterhouse steak. This restaurant will no doubt be packed on Valentine's Day, so be sure to make your reservation as soon as possible.

3. Bambinos Italian Cafe

Bambinos Italian Cafe has some of the best Italian food in the Springfield area. Rated "Best Date-Night Dinner" by Missouri State University's newspaper The Standard in 2017 and Best Italian Dining in 2018 by 417 Magazine, this cafe proves it can back up that claim, too. This quaint Italian restaurant has some of the best food the city has to offer from crab cakes and pasta to tiramisu to some house pastas that are to die for. With vegan options, Bambinos is the place for everyone.

4. Druff's

If you're looking for more casual of a dining experience, look no further. Druff's is known for it's incredibly tasty and different sandwiches and soups. For Valentine's Day, though, things are getting a little spiced up at this downtown hot spot. For just $45, you and your Valentine can experience the magic of Druff's with an appetizer, some sandwiches, soups, and a dessert. Make your reservation now, because it's going to be a busy night on Valentine's Day!

5. Metropolitan Grill

On the more expensive side, Metropolitan Grill is sure to make this Valentine's Day a romantic one. If you and your date come here for your evening, be sure to dress the part that this upscale restaurant expects. From pasta to steak to surf and turf, there's plenty of food to choose from. This fine dining experience is a great way to show your Valentine just how much they mean to you.

6. Nakato Japanese Restaurant

Nakato is a Japanese steakhouse and sushi bar that will leave you and your date wanting to come back again and again. With a full bar and a hibachi grill experience like no other, you can have a great evening with food cooked just the way both you and your Valentine like it. Whether you're a sushi fanatic or experiencing it for the first time, Nakato is sure to provide a fun and interactive Valentine's Day experience.

7. Black Sheep Burgers & Shakes

Who says Valentine's Day needs to be steak and wine? Known for their fun alcoholic shakes and crazy burgers, Black Sheep is also filled with some yummy food. If fine dining isn't your style, relax this Valentine's Day with a nice decadent burger and a shake or beer. You don't have to go all out for Valentine's Day to make it a great one, and Black Sheep's burgers won't disappoint.

From burgers to steaks to grilled cheese, Springfield is known for all kinds of foods. With seemingly unending options for your Valentine's Day date, it's fair to say this list is not at all the only restaurants to consider.

The most important thing to remember is that no matter where you and your Valentine go out to eat, make your date special. With the right person, it doesn't even matter if you're eating at Steak 'N Shake or Applebee's. There's a lot of pressure to make Valentine's Day special and perfect, but as long as you think the person you're with is both of those things, you're set.

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