17 Things Your Anxious Girlfriend Wants To Hear, None Of Which Are 'Just Relax'
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If your girlfriend is hyperventilating, balling her eyes out, sitting in silence, biting her nails, constantly questioning everything, you better not dare ask her to relax.

And if you do, best wishes to you.

Telling your beautiful, anxious mess of a lady to just calm down, will only make matters worse. She will start ruminating about how she is so anxious, how she can't stop, how she may be judged, yada yada yada—it's just a loophole of negativity and constant overthinking. Instead, tuck her into bed with her anxiety blanket that smells like lavender. Bury her in kisses until she can't help but giggle. Uplift her with motivating words.

Anxiety is not logical, don't try to make sense of it.

That's the most influential advice I can give. You may not understand her worries, but no one is asking you to understand. We would all just be banging our heads if we tried to comprehend the rationale behind anxiety.

You know your girlfriend best. What kind of support does she need when nothing else seems to be working in her life? What kind of support would you want to hear if you were troubled by life? Whether your girlfriend suffers from anxiety or has just been having a hard day, week, month, year, she needs your shoulder to cry on.

Everyone has their own opinion on what they need to hear or rather what they are repelled by. Personally, I never feel better when someone says, "It's normal, everyone gets anxious." I have my own individualized fear. It's true that other people have similar feelings, but, at the moment, I'm solely concerned about my distinctive troubles. Yet, some people like to hear that others feel the same way–dealing with personal anxiety is in itself, different for everyone.

But, no fret, there are universal comments that will help you stay calm and, more importantly, will relieve her insecurities.

Here's what to say to your girlfriend with anxiety:

1. "You aren't stupid and neither are your emotions."

Validate her emotions and the way she is feeling. Her worries may not be logical, they may have no base, they may be small or tremendous, but they are her true, genuine feelings! That is not foolish. You can't take that away from a person. So, acknowledge that you understand that she is feeling some sort of way and that it's alright—emotions aren't silly! Her anxieties may be racking her mind and creating tremendous pain. Don't let her throw them under the carpet. No, stand up to them and delve through the shit.

2. "I love you no matter what."

Keep it simple. The three-letter-word, "I love you," has powers like no other assurances.

3. "We're in this together."

Remind her that she isn't alone. It's not her problem. It's both of your problems that you will solve together.

4. "Let's watch something funny."

Or tell a joke. Or act silly. Or... do anything to make her laugh! Laughing is truly the best medicine. I'm thankful for my "anxiety boyfriend" who always knows the perfect dog or baby or, better yet, dog and baby DM that'll ensure my three-mile-smile.

5. "Is there anything I can do? And if not, I'll just be here."

If she has a tendency to worry, talking about it may be too overwhelming. Having you scurry around the room trying to do things for her may be too much to handle. Alternatively, be patient and just ask her what she needs. If there is nothing you can do, just being there, listening, and giving her time will be doing everything.

6. Say something distracting

Distraction is one of the coping methods for anxiety. Help her out by drawing her away from the troubled thoughts by uttering something ridiculous.

7. "You can't control it."

She can't just miraculously calm down. She can't just let go of the tumultuous sentiments. She can't entirely control her anxiety and that's okay. Remind her that it'll be alright. There are ways to manage unease and she can feel better.

8. "You are strong"

Refrain from cliche sayings, advice, inspirations, be real. And, reality is, she is strong. As human beings, we are durable, brave, and ready to take on every battle. Don't let her forget her resilience.

9. "Do you want a hug?"

From time to time, feeling a warm embrace from a loved one is all that one needs to feel secure.

10.  "Let's just cry it out."

Grab some tissues and let her cry all the angst out. Snot and all. At the end of the crying fest, her body, mind, and soul will feel at least a little bit more at ease.

11.  "You can talk to me."

Let her know that you are there for her and ready to listen. If you feel like she needs guidance from a professional, kindly motivate her to see a therapist or psychiatrist. There is no shame in therapy, medication, and reaching out for help.

12.  "I believe in you."

She may not believe in herself, but hearing that you have faith in her, will strengthen her personal confidence.

13.  "Let's breathe."

I think this is better than saying, "just breathe" because whereas the former statement can seem offputting, abrupt, and mechanical, saying, "let's breathe" focuses on the communal behavior of finding peace within one's own body and breathwork.

14.  "Let's shake it out and dance."

Start shaking that booty becuase I want to see your happy dance! It works for Dr. Meredith Grey, so it's bound to work for your girl.

15.  "Let's go on an adventure."

Hop in the car and just drive.

16.  "Name three things you see."

Conspiracy theories are just that, theories. Focus on reality and bring her back to the present moment by asking her to name three things she sees, hears, and feels.

17.  "I'm here."

I always stand by the little things, remarks, and meanings. Staying simple and to the point can express more than any extravagant action.

Rember to focus on her. Ask if she needs anything or if she just wants you to listen or if she just wants to sit in silence.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Things My Significant Other MUST Do In Order To Earn The Privilege Of Meeting My Mom

I say "Hakuna Matata" on the daily, but you really need to say it when you prepare to meet my mom.

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Besides getting married, meeting the parents can be the most stressful time in any relationship. Your boyfriend could be freaking out because he doesn't want to sound like a loon in front of your dad or your mom may be chopping the vegetables a little too loudly making your girlfriend seem uncomfortable in the presence of a knife. Stressing for days (maybe even weeks) up until the day arrives is apart of being in love because you want your parents to love your significant other just as much as you do and when the dinner is finally over, you can breathe again. My family is a little different and my boyfriend has to do these things to be able to meet my mom and my brother (may as well add my cousins into the mix, too because they're my older siblings).

1. Pass the "Best Friends Test"

I have 6 best friends and each one of them has a unique personality. There's the momma friend, the crazy friend, the questionable friend, the laid back friend, the turnt friend, and the friend who just wants me to be happy. If they don't like you, I'll talk to them to figure out why they don't like you. Either way, if you hurt me, they'll hurt you.

2. Prove that stability is your main priority five years from now, even if I'm not in your plan

Things happen and we can't predict everything. We can be together now, break up in a year, and then get back together. It's part of being a teenager/young adult. We deal with a lot, I mean, we're in college, but the older we get, the more stressful life gets, so I want you to show me that you can handle whatever stresses come your way. I want you to be stable on your own before adding a girlfriend into the mix.

3. Deal with my "Hunger Fits"

Let's face it, I can be a brat, but I'm only a brat on three occasions.

1. I'm sleepy.

2. You didn't let me get my way.

3. I'm hungry.

If you eat without me or go get food without me, I might cry and pout like a two-year-old, so you have to be able to handle it. Pro-tip, have snacks with you whenever we go somewhere.

4. Be okay with getting roasted

My cousins are the funniest people you'll ever meet, but they aren't afraid to talk about you while you sit in front of them, so I need to know that you're okay with being roasted. They're not doing it to be mean (trust me, they aren't), but they're doing it because they're my family and they care about me as if I were their little sister.

5. Be able to hold an intelligent conversation for more than 5 minutes

Good conversation is an essential part of a relationship and I love talking about things that are happening in the world today and because my mom is super knowledgeable on a lot of things, you have to be able to talk for more than 5 minutes about something that's engaging.

6. Remain calm in the face of a difficult conversation

I know when it came to certain topics, I used to go off like a volcano, but I've had to grow out of exploding on people just because they don't agree with me. It takes months, maybe even years to master that type of patience and self-restraint, but I grew up fast, so I needed to learn in less than a year how to hold my tongue. I need to know that if you and I (or someone in my family) were to be in a serious conversation, you'd remain calm. I won't blow up on you, so please don't blow up on me (or my family) because then it might not end so well.

7. State your opinion, no matter how mad I might get

Following up with number six, this is a must! I'm a writer, so I deal with a lot of written opinions on the daily. I'm also involved in a lot of organizations where open dialogue is encouraged, so I deal with a lot of verbal opinions, too. People are going to say what they want to say no matter what and I want you to be able to tell me what's on your mind no matter how severe it may be. I'm here for you and I want you to know that you can trust me with your opinions. I might not agree with them, but I can deal with them.

8. Be able to sit and talk about sports and video games with my brother

You'll for sure meet my older brother before you meet my mom only because he acts just like my late grandfather; calm and laid back. He goes with the flow and doesn't get upset unless I get upset, so you don't have to worry about the big bad overprotective brother (but he is very big and very overprotective). He'd much rather sit and talk about "fork-knife" or a basketball game than grill you. It's just how he is. Also, don't be offended if he engages in conversation with you for like ten minutes before he loses interest in talking to you and goes back to playing his game.

9. Be okay and open to the possibility of a long distance relationship

I don't plan on staying down South for long. I actually won't stay here after I graduate from college. Long distance relationships don't work for 40% of all couples, but I want us to not be a statistic. I believe that we could make it, so I would need to know that you'd be okay with me being a thousand miles away; and of course, if you were halfway across the country, I would learn to be okay with it, too.

10. Love your family as much as you love me

Family is a big deal for me. It's always been me, my older brother, and my mom. You may come from a household where it's you and both of your parents, you and one parent, or you, your parent(s), and your siblings. I love my mom and brother with all of my heart and would drop anything (and I have dropped things) to be with them. I want to see that you love your family with the same amount of love that you give me. A man who loves the family he is born into will love the family he marries into.

My family's triangle has never been broken before, so this is new territory for all of us. Don't feel like an outsider, though! These may seem extensive and extra, but it's the things that matter to me. Aside from the apparent trustworthiness, loyalty, wanting three pets, having a sense of humor, and education that I look for in a guy, you have to do these ten things to meet my mom.

If you pass all of these, then you get to meet her. Don't stress about it though because if she doesn't like you at the first meeting, she'll come around by the next because she loves me and she'll see that I love you.

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To The Parents Who Raised The Man Of My Dreams, It Paid Off

You did a phenomenal job.

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As a parent, you always wonder if you're doing it right. Parenting doesn't come with instructions. You're not told how to punish your children in every situation or what to do whenever they accomplish something. You're not completely prepared for it. However, for someone without instructions, you did a phenomenal job.

You raised the man of my dreams.

I've dated throughout my teens and every guy seemed to be the same, but with your son everything was different. Your son is everything I've ever wanted. He is perfect. He is such a gentleman. I want you to know everything you taught him like holding the door and paying for dates, it worked.

I want you to know he doesn't show anger towards me. I'm sure I aggravate him and make him angry, but I want you to know I'll never know when I've done so because he doesn't show it. He gets mad with football games and after he gets done yelling, he apologizes.

He makes me feel beautiful. He has seen me at my absolute worse. He has seen me right when I wake up in the morning with no makeup and my hair is a mess and he tells me I'm beautiful. Whenever so get dressed up, he notices. He makes sure to let me know I look beautiful. He pays attention to detail like that my hair is curled or I have a new nose ring in and he adds them in with the compliments.

He is always supportive. Whenever I started back to school, he was so proud of me. When I started writing for The Odyssey, he shared my articles. He will tell me how proud he is of me. When I make good grades on assignments, he tells me good job.

He is so loving. He comforts me whenever I'm sick. When I had the stomach bug, he got my medicine, trashcans, and played with my hair to comfort me. He brushes and straightens my hair for me whenever I don't feel like it because he wants it to look good.

Thanks to you I have found someone who treats me wonderful. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't know how to treat a lady. It is because of you that he turned out to be nice and respectful man he is today. I want you to know you did an amazing job raising him. He's everything I've ever wanted. Thank you for raising him to be such a gentleman. Thank you for raising him to be everything I've ever dreamed of.

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